The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Anyway, all was going well till I had to comment on the most disgustingly inappropriate ad I think I have ever seen – a campaign in South Africa for Flora margarine – where they sponsored a live television broadcast of a heart transplant under the guise of ‘celebrating healthy eating’.

[By the way, it won at Cannes which shows just how screwed up our industry really is – especially as their submission didn’t mention a single thing about sales or an improvement in overall health & wellbeing of the population! Mind you, what do you expect from an agency called LOWE BULL, I kid you not!!!]

So I went off on one …

While frothing at the mouth, I ranted about how I wished everyone associated with this abomination was dead …

The man who had the operation?

DEAD

The family of the man who let him get into such a state he needed an operation?

DEAD

The client who approved the concept?

DEAD

The holding company who let one of their brands do this concept?

DEAD

The creatives who came up with the idea?

DEAD

The client service and planners who didn’t highlight the idea was crap and the submission even worse?

DEAD

The agency who proudly submitted this concept?

DEAD

The population of South Africa for not rioting over such a disgraceful piece of shit?

DEAD

In other words I hated it … however if the audience were still unsure of my thoughts, I decided to end it with the words …

“Where’s Lee Harvey Oswald when you need him”

… which given the audience, probably wasn’t the best thing to do.

Yes I had a great break and yes, my Mum had a wonderful time and a lovely birthday.

To be honest, I feel more invigorated and refreshed than I have all year – which is a pretty sad thing to announce.

However what this means is that I’m ready to have some fun and while I’ve been away, I’ve been doing some things that have ensured that is going to happen – which involves things as varied as a soon-to-be announced global F1 ‘thing’ and a new way to sell/communicate [in that order] pizza and pretty much everything in-between.

I hope to be able to announce some of this stuff at various points over the next few months, but as much as some people may hate getting back into work, I’m really up for it.

Don’t worry, I’ve not turned into one of these uber-positive individuals, I’ll still be a pedantic, cynical shit … however thanks to the rest, some conversations and the removal of a couple of toxic obstacles [which I can’t really go into, but I am ecstatically happy about, but not as pleased as George, Andy, Jill and anyone else who has had to endure me whilst I’ve been trying to find a way to ‘alter’ things] … I am back on the path to being able to do something about it rather than just rant.

And that has been the big problem with me this year … I have not produced enough. [and I mean ‘I’, not the wider team/companies]

OK, in terms of hot air and idiotic hypothesis, maybe it’s been a vintage year … but in relation to the things that [1] I am passionate about [2] get excited about and [3] want to be judged by, it’s been poor by anyone’s standards.

Yep it’s been an economically tough time – but that’s no excuse – in fact that should of meant I got to do more stuff because companies needed ideas how to counter the decrease in consumer demand.

It wasn’t a totally bleak year – I did a few things I’m pretty chuffed about and have some really cool shit waiting to be announced in 2010 – however it’s not been enough, especially as my friends/colleagues at cynic and Google_Lab have been up to their usual tricks of developing all sorts of weird, wonderful and commercially viable shit.

It’s actually really good being involved with great people who do stuff because it makes you want to do more and be better.

I wrote about this a while back … and whilst I have Sunshine to occupy the majority of my time these days … I still have an inherent need to come up with stuff that impresses or annoys [in the sense of making them jealous] the guys who I have spent the last 6 odd years of my career with.

You see I may be 39, but I still have a desire to ‘do’ stuff.

I don’t want to be one of those guys who ‘moves upstairs’ and simply conducts … I want to ‘create’ … and whilst that doesn’t mean just doing ad’s, it does mean developing stuff people talk about or play with.

I know I have a duty and responsibility to help everyone I work with grow and develop … and I want to do that because it means a huge amount to me … but I also don’t want to spend my time on the outskirts because I also get huge enjoyment making interesting things happen to.

The thing is, at my age, I have about another 4 or 5 years left before adland consigns me to the dustbin … which means I have 4 or 5 years to do what I feel I have to do … and whilst I can’t articulate exactly what it is, I know it involves my ‘socialistic capitalism’ philosophy and talking by example rather than in theory.

I’ve been lucky to have been able to do quite a bit in my career so far – and if I was Paula Abdul, I’d say I still managed to do a few half decent things this year as well – however I’m greedy and want to do more, stuff you know about because you’ve experienced it, not because I’ve told you about it. I know it sounds dramatic, but it really feels it’s a race against time because the older I get, the more I realise I have still to learn and achieve and if there’s one thing my parents encouraged me to do, it’s live fulfilled.

So here I am, formally announcing the end of my creative coma [well, in terms of fundamental execution] and I hope this time next year, I can feel far smugger than my lovely boys and girls do today.

As I said when she left us, she is an incredibly talented and clever individual who can go much, much, much further in her career than she thinks [should she want to] so it makes me incredibly happy to see her getting acclaim and praise at an agency that is more professional than I/we could be in a thousand lifetimes.

Saying that, the real congrats should be to my mates at BBH for keeping Emah happy, motivated and challenged … but then they are experts at recognising and keeping talent, which is probably why I’ve never worked there, ha!

Another wish cruely dashed eh? Oh well, them’s the breaks …

Now obviously my Mum knows the odd swear word escapes from my mouth because – scarily – she reads this blog every now and then, however for some reason, whenever she is in my physical vicinity, my vocabulary becomes distinctly smaller and the only things that leave my gob are words of sweetness and light.

Now like many people who have their parents to stay, I too am nervous.

However it’s not because I think she’ll be demanding – it’s because I know she won’t be demanding enough.

I love my Mum with all my heart.

She is a beautiful, intelligent, sweet, caring woman.

Throughout my life, the only thing she has ever wanted was for me to be me.

She didn’t care what I did, where I did it … her [and my Dad’s] only wish was that I did was I was passionate and excited about.

To be honest, I didn’t really realise how lucky I was to have parents like that until I was much older … and now, when I see what so many kids go through in terms of parental pressure … I think I may of been the luckiest man on Earth.

Anyway, back to my Mum.

Without going into specifics, the fact is she’s had a pretty tough life.

No, I don’t mean because she had me as a son – I mean it because she faced trials and tribulations that would have derailed most people.

She has sacrificed so much to let the people she loves have opportunities and she has never asked for or expected anything in return.

And quite frankly, that’s what pisses me off.

I want her to have whatever she wants … she deserves whatever she wants … and yet she fights like Mohammed Ali to stop me giving her a bloody thing.

We literally go through monthly battles and every time she fights vehemently against it.

Hell, it’s not like I want her to buy diamonds or cars, I’d just like her to know that if she wants, she can buy a coat that costs more than 50 quid from bloody Next once every 24 months!

Don’t think my Mum is ungrateful for my gesture, she is … it’s just that she doesn’t feel she needs anything and she’d rather I used the money to build my life, than hers.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I know I’m her only son, but I’m 39 years of age, earn a stupid salary [but not as stupid as some I should add, ha!], have property, insurance, some terrible investments and a few savings … I’m pretty much set up … so I think I can spare some cash each month to make things a little easier/better for my Mum, especially as she lives more frugally than a bloody Nun so 10 quid would probably last her a year!

And that’s the thing … my Mum is a very humble and independent woman.

She doesn’t like attention [I take after my Dad, obviously!] and values health, independence and knowledge more than money and possessions.

And that’s how it should be … however after all she’s gone through and all she’s done for me, I want to try and ensure this period of her life is as fulfilling and satisfying as can be … where she no longer has to sacrifice her personal dreams and goals for the benefit of others.

I know she’s happy with her life.

I know she feels lucky she has relatively good health … a nice home with nice neighbours … a nearby college where she can continue to learn to paint and write … an ability to use technology so she can be part of this ever changing, fast paced World rather than just be an observer of it … a son who is doing OK and who is happily married and exploring what life is about … and I know seeing and spending time with me – especially in a totally new country – is something that will give her great pleasure and satisfaction … but I also know my Mum has a hungry and curious mind mixed with a sense of adventure and discovery so I just hope that on this trip, rather than simply feeling grateful for what she has, she embraces her right to do what she wants and deserves because I assure you, making it happen would give me happier than almost anything else on Earth.

Welcome to HK Mum …