The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


There Is No Normal, But There Is A Hell Of A Lot Of Ordinary …

One of the things I hate is when I hear someone say ‘normal’ in relation to people.

What are they going on about?

There is no such thing as normal.

There may be habits or tastes or behaviours that are common, but that doesn’t make the people undertaking them, normal.

Ordinary perhaps … but not normal.

Our industry is obsessed with trying to sell mass.

I get it – clients want to reach as many people as possible – but while it sounds more efficient for a clients marketing investment if you talk about people in terms of ‘normal’, it doesn’t mean it is more effective.

If anything, quite the opposite.

As I have said countless times, we need to stop thinking relevance is the win and start aiming for resonance.

Of course to do that, you have to be comfortable with uncomfortable – and that’s why I think we’ll be seeing terms like ‘normal’ and ‘relevance’ for decades to come.

Until most of us don’t exist anymore.

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I Knew I Was Bad At Numbers But I Didn’t Realise I Was This Bad …
August 20, 2019, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude

I’m back.

I appreciate this news will fill you with dread so to make you feel a bit better, I’ll give you some ammo to take the piss out of me. Yes I know you don’t normally need any of that, so consider it an act of errrrrm, love.

As I have said many times, I am rubbish at maths.

I once got 2% in Mrs Kirk’s maths class.

But I did think I had got better over the years until something happened a couple of weeks ago that showed me I was kidding myself.

This:

Yep, what you see is a rather excessive electricity bill because someone – errrrrm, me – got the numbers he submitted, wrong.

Better yet, my first thought was it was the fault of the air conditioning unit we had just bought.

Then when I came to my senses and realized even that couldn’t contribute that much of an increase to the electricity usage, the electricity company didn’t automatically realise it was an innocent mistake by a stupid customer, and said they would need to launch an investigation.

AN INVESTIGATION.

Suddenly your week feels a lot better now doesn’t it.



A Little Bit Of Nice To End The Week …

There are 2 reasons for the title of this post.

The main one is that I’m ending the week on a nice story.

And when I say ‘nice’, I mean it … it’s not me ranting about some revenge I’ve finally unleashed on someone after 30 years.

I know … who the hell am I?!

The other reason is that I’m having a little break so you get a ‘long weekend’ of blog post freedom as I’m not back till Tuesday.

Enjoy it, it might not happen again for a long time.

But back to the main reason for this being nice …

England has a terrible history in terms of inclusion.

Hell, it has a terrible history in a lot of things.

And while the World is a massive, massive shit-show right now, there are moments where faith is restored.

Case in point is what the Bank of England have done with the design of the new £50 note …

For those of you who don’t know who Turing was, read this.

Put simply, he not only was a brilliantly clever man, he played a huge role in the Allies victory in World War 2.

And yet despite all this, he was treated despicably simply for being gay.

And while you could argue this gesture of acknowledgement is too little, too late – and it is – the way they did it is the perfect tribute to the man.

An act that shows how he did things, not just what he did.

A gesture of beautiful nerd resonance.



Careful, Your Manipulation Is Showing …

So a few weeks ago, I received this email …

As soon as I read that first line, I just switched off.

Not because I’m not interested in new business, but because it’s so obvious anyone in business is.

I also don’t like the tone …

As if they just care about my best interests.

Everything about this email pissed me off which – as introductory emails go – is the opposite effect they should have.

I get it’s hard to cold call someone.

I get it’s difficult to grab their attention.

But maybe someone should tell them the secret to making anyone care is getting them to buy rather than just trying to sell.

Or said another way, finding out what your audience need rather than selling them what you want them to want.



Victorian England Is Alive And Well …

A few weeks ago, my family went on what we call, ‘a family adventure’.

All that consists of is getting a map, pointing to a place around a couple of hours drive away and heading there to investigate and explore.

It’s nice to discover something new all together and it’s a precious time for us.

If we go on a Sunday, we tend to stop off at a pub for a legendary ‘Sunday Roast’.

After 2 and a half decades away, I have missed them immensely and there’s something heart-warming [literally and metaphorically] shoving some chicken and roast potatoes in your gob.

To be honest, we have had quite a range of quality.

Some of it – I swear – was a microwave version of a roast, given the grey color of the food and weird temperature range.

But some of it has been exquisite … though I appreciate that means nothing from a man who wears Birkenstocks and supports Nottingham Forest.

However what I’ve found even more interesting, is the range of pubs we have gone in.

The UK pub industry is facing incredible headwinds right now.

Huge amounts of them are being closed down – either due to a lack of trade or an increase in rents – so you’d think they’d be working hard to make people feel welcome.

And a lot are.

There’s one in Hitchin where the landlady remembered us and our orders from the second time we went in. Sure, that might have something to do with the fact Otis was wearing a full-on Spiderman costume on our first visit … but it’s still impressive.

However some are quite different.

Like this one near Winchester …

Oh I get a good joke.

I appreciate on face value, it’s funny.

Except it isn’t really is it.

It’s saying ‘kids need to be quiet’.

It’s saying ‘kids need to be controlled’.

It’s saying ‘kids are not welcome’.

It wasn’t just this sign either … there were notices everywhere:

Don’t make loud noises in the garden.

Don’t runaround in the garden.

Respect the pub grounds.

Look, I get it … you want to make sure everyone can enjoy the business you’ve worked hard to build up, but maybe they need to appreciate the difference between welcome consideration and jobsworth dictators.

While social media is awash with amusing pub signs, the landlord of this establishment needs to understand there is a huge difference between celebrating the ‘benefits’ of alcohol in our harsh world and insulting customers who have kids with them.

Or said another way …

Appreciate what you find funny may not be what others find funny.

I get ‘regulars’ may find kids annoying.

I get kids make noise and run around and around.

I get parents sometimes would like a break from it all.

But if you don’t want them coming, don’t advertise yourself as a ‘family pub’ …



When Naming Strategies Aren’t A Strategy …

A brand name can make a huge difference to the success of a brand.

Don’t get me wrong, the product has to be good or none of it matters – but the brand name does have an impact on performance.

Maybe this is why I have seen so many companies talk about their ‘naming strategy’ process … even though most of them then come back and say their first stage of the process has resulted in 10,000+ names.

TEN THOUSAND!!!

What sort of strategy – a process designed to ultimately create sacrifice – delivers 10,000 options?

But I digress.

While names can evoke all manner of feelings and emotions, there is a whole host that shows the imagination of a dead badger.

I wrote about how Singapore in particular is good/bad with their ‘say what you see’ approach to naming brands, products and stores … but there is a type of brand name that drives me even more crazy than the obviousness favoured in Asia and it’s the crash-together name.

Crash Together?

Yeah … where a brand takes 2 separate words roughly associated with the category and smashes them together.

There’s a bunch of these, such as Playtex, but I saw one recently that was bottom-of-the-barrel scraping …

Pregnacare.

PREGNACARE!!!

Christ, is that really the best they could do?

I get being pregnant is both wonderful and fearful, but Pregnacare is the most clinical name you could get.

It captures none of the wonderful and just hints of the fearful.

Plus it doesn’t – in any way – explain what it actually is, which given they’ve decided to go all mechanical in name choice, seems a rather ridiciulous situation.

I get naming is hard.

I get naming isn’t the be-all and end-all of a brands success.

But if you want to be seen as some sort of friend to anyone who is pregnant – which, judging by the photo, Pregnacare do – then you might want to choose 2 words that when smashed together, don’t sound like a visit to an upmarket gynecologist.



Don’t Mess With The Chocolate …
August 12, 2019, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Chocolate, Culture

A while back, there was a twitter thread about how hormones affected women’s attitude and behaviour.

Because it was written by women, I felt I was intruding reading the comments – but they were brilliant. Not just for their self awareness and openness, but for simply talking about something rarely discussed.

Or at least, rarely discussed with men, mainly because even the most stupid bloke knows that referring to anything to do with female hormones increases the odds of getting a karate chop in the throat by about a million percent.

Anyway, as I was reading, I saw this one …

I don’t mind admitting, it made me laugh out loud on the tube.

Not because I found it stupid, but because I found it utterly relatable.

[Though divorcing someone over it might be a little exterme]

Don’t get me wrong, chocolate buttons are awesome … but they’re not the sort of thing an adult wants when they’re craving for chocolate. As a little unexpected treat – they’re fine – but to satisfy a craving, they’re about as useless as watching Forest when you want to see a really good game of football.

That said, as funny as the lady in questions reaction might have been, it does highlight that maybe Fry’s were on the right track with their chocolate ads from the 30’s and 40’s.

As they say, the more things change the more they stay the same.