The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Ask No Questions And I’ll Tell No Lies.
February 1, 2008, 6:21 am
Filed under: Comment

Job Centre no more 

I’ve been a bit hard on HR people recently – mainly because I was fed up of many of them ‘pretending’ to care [about people] when they so obviously don’t.

Well all that has changed because I’ve finally come across an HR person who doesn’t hide from the fact ‘moaning employees’ get right on his tits!

Let me explain …

In industry magazine Media, they have a section called “24 HOURS WITH …” 

On first impressions, it looks like a column where people list what they do on an average day at work – however the reality is its role is to satisfy the delusional fantasy of ad-folk – making them feel everything they do is of interest to the wider World.

Most of the time what these people claim to do … if you can be bothered to read the column … sounds like complete bollocks.

You get the overriding impression it’s been written by some poor sap in the creative department with the brief: MAKE ME SOUND LIKE I PLAY HARD BUT AM EMOTIONALLY AWARE AND FUNNY. I NEED TO LOOK REALLY, REALLY FUNNY.

So instead of getting the truth like …

7am    Wake up and cry. 

9am    Drag myself into work. Sit at my computer and blog.

1pm    Food. Lots and lots of food.

2pm    Another little cry. Sit at my desk starring at the computer.

6pm    Do time sheet before heading home. It’s raining.

8pm    Eat, watch television, mutter 2 words to the other half.

11pm  Go to bed. Read “Soulless Life”. Realise it’s about me. Cry.

12am  Take overdose of Prozac. Go to sleep. It’s nice here. 

… you get things like … 

5am    Wake up and stretch before going for my 15km run. Home, shower, make an amazingly tasty breakfast for my entire family then drive my kids to school.

8am    Answer really important international emails. It’s tough, but I thrive on responsibility.

1pm    Quick healthy snack before I brief my huge team on a really important international pitch. Which I am leading. Of course.

2pm    Write 173 different presentations – in 16 different languages. My team look at me in awe. And so they should.

6pm    Little meeting with some colleagues at the local ‘watering hole’. [Haha, I am so witty, I’m really having a glass of wine!]

8pm    Home. Bath the kids then help with their homework. I cook the pasta dish I had when I was holidaying in Tuscany. My family love it. And me. Then we sit and talk about philosophy. I love being an intellectual.

11pm  Satisfy my partner with the sort-of love making they used to dream about as a teenager. Answer 846 emails on my Blackberry. Lots of major decisions to make, but that’s what happens when you’re a mover and shaker.

4am  Thank Buddha for my day, do some yoga then drift off to sleep – excited about my life and the day ahead.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Anyway, the reason for all this is because in this weeks 24 HOURS WITH column, not only have I found someone who tells the absolute truth [a.k.a. HR person who doesn’t like ‘moaners’] but he expresses it in such a way that you’d swear it came straight from Matt Beaumont’s brilliant book, ‘e

Ladies and gentleman, it gives me the greatest of pleasure to introduce you to the brilliant Sangsoo Chong and the key moments of his day.

Sangsoo

I want to break free? That’s a Queen song … I wonder if he likes them?

Clean Teeth

Well as I suspected, he is very musical. Or perverted.

Wonder if Oral-B are clients of his?

I Want To Break Free

YES … YES … my Korean buddy is a Queen fan.

Must admit, it’s not one of my favourite songs, but us Queen fans must stick together …

Book Translation

This book was actually written by my friend who is passionate about increasing the knowledge in Asian advertising.

Sangsoo obviously takes his job seriously given he is going to translate the whole thing for his Korean colleagues.

He’s more than just HR, he’s a trainer too! What a guy!

Crying Employee

See. I told you he was honest!

He could of pretended his heart was aching in sympathy for his Creative Director colleague but no – he makes it very clear that he thinks the guy/girl is a wuss and they should pull themselves together and do some work to make his agency some more cash.

I particularly like the way he ends it with ‘IT STARTS SNOWING’ as if that is the only significant moment from the whole episode. I like this guy. I really, really like this guy.

Drinks

I knew he was a softy really. Sure he played Mr Tough with that Creative Director, but my guess is he/she deserved it.

OK, so the sleepless art directors would probably of preferred to have gone to bed – but as our hero knows – that won’t create a real team atmosphere so instead he takes them out, gets them pissed and treats them to a song.

[Probably ‘I Want To Break Free’ or ‘Tunes From My Oral-B Toothbrush’]

Too Late Too Translate

Ahhhhh, so maybe he can’t be that arsed translating the book for his colleagues. But then it is late and he has been out drinking for hours. 

He could of pretended to work through the night, but no – he went with honesty. Brilliant. He’s far too good for adland!

_________________________________________________________________________________

I love this man … I genuinely love him.

Sure I might not want to go to him with any personal problems, but interms of hanging out he’s up there with the best.

All this goes to show that people/brands who tell the blunt truth can become far more powerful and adored than those who just spout out their marketing bollocks. [But then I would say that wouldn’t I, ha!] 

Sangsoo, you rock … and I hope you take this post the manner it is meant because it is one of genuine praise and gratitude.

[Even though it is easy to find out, I’ve purposely not mentioned the company Sangsoo works for, incase some idiot there takes offence to this post and he gets in trouble – something I would never wish to happen to him] 


33 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Your 7am to 4pm made me laugh out loud, classic stuff Rob!

Comment by Age

I love him. I love him for “sneaking out”. That’s so brilliant I am crying. I am crying at it’s brilliance.

It is snowing.

Good night.

Comment by Marcus

Are you up early Robert or is this another of your “written in advance” posts?

It hurts me to say this but I’ve pissed myself at this post, especially your examples of “24 hours with” (Take away the family and making breakfast / dinner and you’ve captured me with uncanny accuracy)

I love Sangsoo and if he gets sacked he should come here because drinking, singing and fuck all sympathy for creatives are trademarks of cynic 🙂

Comment by Billy Whizz

All that and he wrote about the Art of War. Hire him imediately.

Comment by John

Admit it, the real reason you love this guy is because he loves Queen. That alone should put most of us off him but I’m like Marcus and strangely drawn to him.
I could now comment on your “unplanned/truth” synopsis that you mentioned to justify this post, but what would be the point because Andy’s back and he’s only going to ruin the thread anyway 🙂
Talking of Andy, you just know he’s going to love this guy. Is this his “welcome back to work” present?

Comment by Pete

And you’re right when you say he sounds like a character from “e”. He’s a perfect fusion of Pertie van Helden and Crummond (or whatever the unsympathetic CEO was called) 🙂

Comment by Pete

I prefer it when you write blog posts that show intelligence rather than just humour but as you’ve been quite good as of late (I love the Wunderman stuff), I’ll happily concede this post is hilarious.
I don’t know if I agree with Billy that we should try and hire him, but if it means I won’t have to hear his whining within 4 hours of coming back from a lovely holiday it might just be worth seeing if Sangsoo is up for a new challenge. 🙂

Comment by George

he’s obviously a weak link in an organisation striving for efficiency and greatness…

Comment by lauren

[that’s sangsoo i was talking about. not billy. or george.]

Comment by lauren

Hello Lauren, can you clarify if you are referring to Sangsoo or Billy in that statement?

Comment by George

Am in awe of Lauren’s chutzpah.

Comment by John

Where’s George? Who the fuck has taken George? The George I know would never like a post that hasn’t got any wanky planner words in it. Or “insights”. Oh fuck him, he never listens to my complaining anyway 🙂

Comment by Billy Whizz

oh this is good, this is fucking good. i love this korean nutcase. he might like queen but thats something we can beat out of him with sticks, chains and belts.
mind you if he gets off using an electric fucking toothbrush hell probably get a stiffy the moment the first piece of wood smashes into the back of his legs. hell want us to start talking dirty to him after that. fucking sicko. well be having none of that shit in my company, no fucking way. not unless they are hot babes.
so even auntie fucking george likes this post. im shocked. but then after his lecture to me about “catching up on our clients business before going all blitzgrieg on robs blog” im surprised he even read it 🙂
i love mr sangsoo, but can you imagine how tough as fucking nails his counterpart in north korea must be? thats the guy i want to hire.

ps: billy youre a fiesty little shit. good man.

Comment by andy@cynic

Did George really say that to you Andy?

You obviously paid no attention to him then, ha!

I love the idea of a North Korean HR manager – trouble is he’d run the place within a week because we’d all be too frightened to say anything to him.

And don’t give me your ‘Tough Man’ bollocks Andy, I’ve seen you with the wife and you’re sweeter than candyfloss dipped in chocolate 🙂

PS: Hello George, see you this weekend.

Comment by Rob

ill gladly show you how tough i am when i see you campbell. and thats not a euphamism for some gay love you sad fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

Aggressive comments about ‘gay love’?

Yep, Andy is most definitely ‘back’. 🙂

Comment by Rob

A North Korean HR Manager would declare any joint venture partners to be non-companies.

Comment by John

Has this Korean bloke singlehandedly made you consider exiting the KKKK [which you once founded]?

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Damn you Fred … damn you and your elephant memory!

Comment by Rob

KKKK?

Comment by Pete

Rob….?

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Yes Pete, the ‘KKKK’.

Well strictly speaking, the K[B]KKK …

“KOREAN [Business] Ku Klux Klan”

Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love Korean people [hence the ‘Business’ addition] – but after the single worst experience of my advertising career – I vowed to do all I can to never work with a Korean based brand again, ESPECIALLY if they are trying to communicate to cultures outside of their own.

We don’t wear white pointy hats, lynch people or have burning crosses – we just hide in the corner and shudder whenever the words LG or Samsung are heard 🙂

Comment by Rob

I have a hangover.

Good morning.

Comment by The Kaiser

I wonder what “24 HOURS WITH THE KAISER: read like? All parties and loose women or depression covered up by alcohol? 🙂

Comment by Robert

Depression covered up by Alcohol. Obviously.

Comment by The Kaiser

This post is proudly brought to you by Johnnie Walker

Comment by Robert

Excellent stuff, the truth always rules out.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

It seems Mr Chong has a sense of humour which is handy as Koreans generally view men who laugh or joke in public as being weak.

I’ll call you on Monday to make sure you don’t screw up any more diplomatic relations around the region.

Haven’t we taught you anything? 🙂

Love the blog and I look forward to catching up. All my love to Jill.

Comment by Judy Slatyer

well done rob, not only do you piss off mortimer with your beadle “joke” (you sick fuck) but you get the ceo of lonely planet having to step in for cultural insensitivity. god i love you.

Comment by andy@cynic

But wait till you read the warnings in their next guide to Singapore!

Comment by John

Comments like that let me overlook your tatt hatred and see you for the evil comedian genius you are. That’s about the highest compliment I can give so enjoy it Dodds.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Funny how authenticity resonates. I like this chap a lot too.

Comment by Charles Frith

[…] to the rubbish/lies adfolk used to write in Campaign magazines ‘A Day In The Life’, it tends to be an array of facts that have been focus-group tested to make the […]

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