The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


1 + 1 = Corporate Wank
June 26, 2008, 7:00 am
Filed under: Comment

Mr Penis Allover Photo: Twinkleboi.com

I’ve had some rather ‘interesting’ job titles in my time …

Sponge

Devil’s Advocate

Communications Innovator

Wanker [no, seriously]

… and as much as many people may think being called a ‘Planner’ is the most ridiculous of them all, a mate told me about this guy he met who had the most mentally brilliant job title ever.

S T R A T O V A T O R

That just reeks of Alpha male doesn’t it.

You can almost imagine Arnie bursting into a boardroom and saying,

“You have disappointed the Stratovator, I must now teach you a lesson you will never forget otherwise – I’ll be baaaaaack”

Anyway, as even the thickest kid in a Nottingham school can work out, this guy is obviously trying to say he is a ‘strategy innovator’ … however in my experience, just like people who say they’re CRAZZZZZY and then turn out to be accountants, I have a feeling this guy should actually be called a ‘TWATEGIST’ however regardless of that, I think STRATOVATING is the future and when you hear it being banded about in management books, remember where you heard it first.

Told you I’d be back to my cynical, miserable and evil self today. 🙂

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17 Comments so far
Leave a comment

better campbell, much much better. i like the “twategist” name, the multi cock photograph, everything so fuck the nancy shit and stay as your angry fucking self, its much better

Comment by andy@cynic

maybe i’m thick, but i never would have guessed that stratovator was strategy innovator. i thought it was going to be a post about playing hot licks on a rocking stratocaster guitar, a fan of the finns stratovarius, or maybe a killer violinist on the stradivarius (with bad spelling).

Comment by lauren

Thanks Lauren … you’ve singlehandidly shown I’ve been in this industry too long – and shown by saying “hot licks on a rocking stratocaster guitar” you’re not as cool as I always believed 🙂

Thank you Andy … it means soooooooooo much to me … and as for tomorrow, I think 50% will please you and 50% will result in me needing to put cotton wool in my ears for the next couple of months, ha!

Comment by Rob

so that’s how it is then.

Comment by lauren

Where was this stratovator from? Not the “G”?

Comment by Pete

I’m changing my email sig from

“Vice President of Jedi Mind Tricks”

to

“ZE STRATOVATORRR”

right now.

Comment by Age

Please tell me your title isn’t actually “Vice President of Jedi Mind Tricks”

I’m sure it isn’t, but given you’re at McCann’s, it could affect your brain interms of creativity 🙂

Comment by Robert

ha, cmon Rob you know i’m kidding.

My job title says Planner. But even I question that sometimes!

Comment by Age

You never know 🙂

And companies like McCann’s and Euro should be questioning whether they can claim they make advertising before you should ever worry about calling yourself a planner . [And you should, so now you can stop beating yourself up!]

Comment by Rob

I don’t think it’s if they make advertising as much as “ads” are ALL they make… hmmm…

Comment by Age

Twategist is brilliance. Absolute brilliance.

I’m campaigning for Stratovator on my business card (though it does reek a little bit of Mr Motivator – http://www.mrmotivator.com/

No, no lycra ta. 🙂

Comment by Will

That is your challenge Will … get Stratovator on your biz card and you will win a prize, and I’ll even make sure it’s a good one.

Up for it?

Comment by Rob

Well, I’m yet to have it drawn up…

So yes, you’re on.

Comment by Will

i’ve got some spare business cards you can use will – i won’t be needing them anymore.

Comment by lauren

What’s cooking Ms Brown?

Comment by Will

How’s it feel Lauren?

[I’m talking about your ‘work situation’, I’m not enquiring about something physically personal. God, first NP becomes Andy, then Dodds and now me. Whats going on???]

Comment by Rob

i resigned yesterday will. and it feels ace, rob. such a fucking relief.

Comment by lauren




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