The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Ask A Stupid Question …
June 26, 2008, 7:27 am
Filed under: Comment

Yes Sarah-Jessica Parker – not only are you the winner of Maxim’s UNSEXIEST woman in the World – but you also are the inaugural winner of the Campbell ‘Making A Fucking Mountain Out Of A Molehill Award’.

Now I know hair colour can change how you feel – well, actually I don’t because I’m a bald bugger however countless women have told me it does – but to publically state an acting role became challenging because you moved from blonde to brunette it is simply outrageous.

Being a single parent and having to feed your kids would be challenging.

Learning to speak after a stroke would be challenging.

Getting divorced would be challenging.

Changing your fucking hair colour because your multi-million dollar paying Hollywood acting job called for it – isn’t.

Mind you what do you expect from a woman who through a hissy-fit because a gown SHE BORROWED had been worn before.

Get a fucking life Jessica-Parker – if they’re the only issues you have going on in your life, consider yourself lucky.

Then you do have to live with Matthew “I’m not famous anymore” Broderick.

Seriously, it is any wonder so many people think actors are full of their own self-importance when they make stupid statements like this.

Which is probably why so many people think adland is full of wankers because whilst they go on about their craft, creativity and intellectualism, the general public just see them as a bunch of over-paid kids who make 30 seconds of inconvenience whilst snorting coke off a strippers tits and living it large in Cannes.

[This is only half true. We make ads in other mediums as well 🙂]

So with all this in mind, I am urging any Hollywood and Adfolk who might read this blog [latest vieweship: zero] to follow this simple advice …


… though I do accept I probably need to follow it more than most, ha!

57 Comments so far
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oh yes campbell, of fucking yes. to be fair sjp is an easy target but with bullshit coming out of her mouth like that, she deserves a good metaphorical kicking and you have delivered like the bastard you really are.
im proud of you and almost look forward to whatever shit you have written for your last day. make it a good one, youre going to be stuck in a room with me for a long time and you dont want our only topic of conversation to be what a fucking drip you are

Comment by andy@cynic

yes: she said stupid shit and should be punished. yes: if i got asked a stupid fucking question like that i might rabbit on about similar wank too – just to keep myself amused.

Comment by lauren

I’ll pass on the SJP idiocy but your comment regarding how people view advertising based on how the industry presents itself in the public domain is sadly true.

Even things like “The funniest advertisements” television programmes are damaging because it promotes us as simply creating mindless humour that people laugh at rather than get interested by.

I know most people don’t care about what goes on and the industry tends to talk to itself but could it mean that advertising is more attractive to individuals who want to be self indulgent than actually create ideas that sell things for our clients?

Comment by Pete

So Lauren, are you saying that you thinkg SJP answered in that stupid question just to amuse herself?

Please say you’re not because I’ll be forced to throw back at you a bunch more of her self-deluded, self-important quotes like the time she found out a dress she was given to wear at an event had been worn by another celebrity previously and said …

“What they did was so short-sighted. It’s just unethical and disappointing that they would allow the dress to be worn again”

I know she’s in the “industry” and her image is part of her brand [sorry Jill] but a sense of fucking perspective would be nice – but then when you live in a bubble of freebies, luxury, designer goods and “yes men”, what do you expect.

[Are you listening Andy 🙂 ]

Comment by Rob

Hey Pete – that’s an interesting point regarding the “World’ Best Advertisments” shows … I can see why they were created [on top of being cheap and attracting the mindless Big Brother crowd 🙂 ] but I hadn’t thought of the possible ramifications both interms of how people view adland and who it attracts.

Nice … let me have a think, ha!

Comment by Rob

i’m not excusing the crazy broad, just suggesting/concurring that she’s possibly a product of her environment (bubble, yes men, etc, etc).

Comment by lauren

and confirming that i’m not in fact sarah jessica parker. some people confuse us.

Comment by lauren

You are a billion times more the talented woman than SJP [don’t you love the men are using her initials – either because we’re trying to be all “New Weekly” magazine or just plain lazy] ever will be. Infact apart from your gender, the only other thing I think you have in common is your difficulty in finding a good man 😉

And at least Parker isn’t as bad as Mariah Carey with her stupid comments.

My 2 faves are when she saw video of the starving in Ethiopia and said something like …

“Oh that’s terrible but I wish I could be as thin as them”

… and when she was asked for her thoughts when the King of Jordan died …

“Oh that’s terrible, he was the greatest basketballer that ever lived”

Classic in a really tragic kinda way.

Comment by Rob

lol @ Mariah!

I’d love to cut off SJP’s hands and use those velociraptor claws on them to finish her off.


Comment by Age

That just about lets me forgive you for your last comment Age. By a whisker 🙂

Comment by Robert

RC…you had me at tits and coke

Comment by niko

Blue tit birds and Coca-Cola?

You are a strange and perverted man, no wonder we all like you so much.

Comment by Rob

I’d give Kim Cattral one though (when she was in Porkies, a bit old now).

Comment by northern

Is that because she’s …

1/ A sex obsessed woman [well she is in S&TC]
2/ Older [teacher fantasy perhaps?]
3/ A Scouser
4/ All the above

You know what, I don’t think I really want to know, ha!

Comment by Rob

No you don’t. I work with one or two scousers, need to be careful what I say

Comment by northern

I am strange? you like women with their tits painted blue while doing who knows what with coca cola, and you refer to yourself as we?

Newsflash Caligula: The Roman empire fell some time ago 😉

plus if I had to pick one, I’d go for the ginger one…more of a challenge

Comment by niko


Because you’re worried they might hate you or that they may think you want to jump them?

Jesus, these are women we’re talking about isn’t it?

Comment by Rob

Good morning.

Comment by John Johnston Junior III

Good morning, 3J, how are you today?

Did you see the first post re: sheds? For some reason I feel you may find it interesting.

Comment by Rob

I’ll leave you to guess. Actually, come to think of it, I quite like the ginger one too.
Here’s some insight by the way, women love SJP and love even more that men can’t work out why they do. That’s the thing about real cool, it doesn’t make any sense.
I’ve never worked why I’m cool, I just am. And the opposite sex don’t fancy me either. Oh God, I’m a planning SJP. Right, time to show HBO my column, I’ll get a series out of this, I’ll be played by Billy Zane (or Demi Moore as GI Jane Andy).
Bet that’s baked all your noodles…

Comment by northern

Billy Zane? NP, you aren’t swarthy enough… 😉

Comment by Will

NP appears to be channeling Andy – how did that happen?

Comment by john

I’ve just worked out I’ve never seen NP and Andy in the same room together – and that’s because they’re the same fucking person!!!

In all seriousness, it seems NP is being the World’s greatest corporate toady because he’s allowed his brain to be infiltrated with TBWA’s “Disruption” – however like the SIA ads, it all seems to have gone a bit wrong!

Comment by Rob

I keep herbs in my shed.

Comment by John Johnston Junior III

me to john

Comment by niko

You should talk to Niko, he likes herbs. Allegedly.

Comment by Rob

Hello Niko,

I have a very beautiful basil.

Comment by John Johnston Junior III

I am more of a potherb fella myself. Allegedly…nice legal touch there Rob 😉

Comment by niko

Some would say that women like SJP  because they dont want to be identified as either overtly promiscuous, frigid or subservient and so go for the classic branding compromise. Some would say that, but not me of course.

Comment by john

I can’t work out why you’re single Mr Dodds.

Comment by Rob

my thyme, however, is plagued by nagging white fly.

Comment by John Johnston Junior III

Trust me Niko, “allegedly” gets you out of all sorts of trouble 😉

Comment by Rob

The paradox of choice?

Comment by john

I think you typed the wrong word there John, surely you meant “lack”

Comment by Rob

Oi Campbell. Don’t tell anyone but Disruption is not my flavour of the month. You wouldn’t believe the sneaky post rationalisation I put on stuff to get it through.

And I am swarthy enough. I’m even getting grey chest hairs. Ask Kelly Brook.

Comment by northern

but I seemed to have lost my rosemary.

Comment by John Johnston Junior III

You do know Keith Smith reads this blog don’t you NP? Time to get your CV out again 🙂

And 3J, don’t you mean ‘your memory’?

Comment by Robert

I think you’re taking my insightful marketing metaphor far too literally.

Comment by john

no, no. I meant rosemary Mr. Campbell.

Comment by John Johnston Junior III

Thank you for your clarification 3J – have you looked in the shed?

Comment by Robert

My vitello tonato is missing capers.

Comment by niko

I don’t like capers.

Comment by John Johnston Junior III

Love knows where your rosemary grows?

Comment by Moonbeam Haight-Asbury III

Mr N, I do get the impression TBWA are clinging to disruption like a criminal child that keeps getting second chances.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

That’s real Pseuds’ Corner ammo. Add to the list of over-inflated celebs the other exaggerations that infest our press, such as using “tragedy” for a footie team’s defeat and “hero” for anyone who sponsors a wet fart on a Wednesday for charity.

Comment by oldvic

speaking of fallon (but not juan) – opinion on the ‘testing HD to the limit’ def leppard clips… er, sony ads?

Comment by lauren

What’s happening? This blog is almost becoming as much fun as when Robert was on his honeymoon.
Fuck rosemary my mum always says Basil gave her much more satisfaction. Is it a coincidence the family next door neighbor had the same name? Boom crash.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Mortimer, don’t get all territorial. JWT are very good, I’ve said it, move on.

Comment by northern

You’re only saying that because JWT is TBWA but with shitter PR 🙂

Comment by Billy Whizz

And I’ve worked at both

Comment by Billy Whizz

Stop trying to get this blog back on track my tattoo’d friend

Comment by Billy Whizz

Mr Whizz, you’re mother has great taste in herbs. There is nothing quite like have a nice piece of basil in one’s mouth.

Comment by John Johnson Jr. III

She swears Basil with a creamy sauce is the best thing that’s ever been in her mouth but when I had it I had to spit it out because it was to salty

Comment by Billy Whizz

So gayboy Bazza doesn’t get too excited, my last comment was a joke.
Mr Jnr you’re the best guy on here but the evil capitalists bastards that pay my pitiful wages want me to do some work so till next time my herby comrade.

Comment by Billy Whizz

billy, you ungrateful swine, i did that just for you – so that you can turn up and be the stand-out funster guy that everyone wants to be friends with.

Comment by lauren

jetzt geht’s los!!

Comment by niko

i couldnt of said it better myself, billy is an ungrateful swine. oh yes i can, billy is fucking lucky he gets paid at all but his agency slagoff and childish “finbar saunders (and his double entenders)” routine with marcus jr 3 were mildly entertaining so ill only smack him a few times around the head when im back

Comment by andy@cynic

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