The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Would You Trust A WPP Company To Make Your Brand Successful When They Do Shit Like This And Think It’s Brilliant?
September 26, 2008, 6:45 am
Filed under: Comment

It was bad enough when Wunderman came out with that horrendous squigily thing to express they were experts in OUT OF THE BOX THINKING [cough cough splutter splutter] however that’s nothing compared to what MindShare have gone and done.

Are you ready for this?

GLOBAL – Media network Mindshare has updated its identity by introducing a new company logo and ALTERING IT’S NAME.

The WPP subsidiary has replaced its purple logo with a red, purple and blue swirled sign and has adopted a lower-case ‘s’ in its name, changing it from MindShare to Mindshare.

“The logo has longevity, simplicity and flexibility – it’s future-proof,” said Mindshare Worldwide’s marketing director Ailsa Lochrie. “And it’s purple. We’re always going to be purple people.”

The rebranding is consistent with the agency’s global restructure process, announced earlier in the year, which has included the introduction of new management and tools.

The logo was designed by London agency Moving Brands following a pitch that included ten companies.

Now I know you must be desperate to see the work of genius so here you go …

Yes, that is it.

Changing your logo or the way your name appears is fine … but making a big fucking deal of it is a joke, especially when you try and justify it with the bullshit coming out of Ailsa’s mouth.

This smacks of 1950’s P&G advertising where you had to have ‘new news’ even if it had no value or importance to the masses.

There is so much wrong with this that I feel morally obliged to go through each point one by one …

First of all, lets look at the logo.

To you and me it’s 2 circles in the sort of colours you’d get on Thai Airlines but not to Mindshare … oh no, this is the exhaustive result of a TEN WAY PITCH!

TEN!!!

How the hell can you get that many agencies to pitch and then decide 2 circles was the best option?

Who the fuck were the other 9 agencies, members of a blind school?

Then there’s the fact Ailsha Lochrie say’s “it’s future proof”.

Hahahaha, hAhAhahaha, HahahAhaHa!

Future proof?

Well only in the sense that something shit today is most likely to be shit in any decade.

What the fuck is this woman on?

If I were WPP I’d keep her locked in the closet with Tom Cruise before she say’s anything else that might make them look bloody stupid.

[Can anyone tell me if the design agency, Moving Brands, is a WPP company. Something just doesn’t smell right here!]

And what is a purple person?

Isn’t that the colour you go when you’re about to burst in a fit of frustration because in your heart of hearts you know what you’re doing is wrong but you have been told by your bosses that to ensure your monthly pay cheque you have to go along with the corporate illusion that you’re at the cutting edge of media and people habits despite the fact that you end up spending pretty much all your clients money on the same old traditional channels as you did 20 years ago?

Then there’s the big one.

The fact they have dropped the capital S into lower case.

Holy fuck … hold the front page.

Seriously, I don’t know why I didn’t grasp the opportunity to write some trumped up press release when I started referring to myself as Rob instead of Robert.

THIS IS A COMPANY THAT SAYS IT HELPS BUSINESS GROW.

THIS IS A COMPANY THAT HAS LAUNCHED A BRAND CONSULTANCY DIVISION.

THIS IS A COMPANY SO STUCK UP ITS OWN ARSE IT CAN’T SEE HOW STUPID THEY LOOK.

The thing is, Mindshare does have some great people, but the sad part is that they use them for ‘PR’ because in the big scheme of things, they don’t use their ‘scout network’ for cultural trends … they don’t use their creatives to break new ground … they simply churn and burn clients cash and employees energy to keep Sorrell and his gang in champagne and lobster.

However the biggest tragedy of them all is that clients don’t see the lies and blindly go on – thinking they’re with a company who is being responsible with their money when despite all the hype, they’re doing little more than my Mother could come up with.

OK, so my Mum is a smarty-pants, but she’s not some media person – so if you work for MindShare [sorry, Mindshare] and are in a role where you actually are being exploited [or exploiting clients trust] let us know what’s going on [I heard a horrible rumour that the management ordered all staff to give money to some charity thing so they could PR how ‘ethical’ they are] and then go back to your bosses and ask how the fuck 2 circles and a lower case ‘s’ reflect the companies new management and tools.

This is the sort of wank the idiot at Landor probably comes up with [which would make sense given it’s another WPP company] but in the ‘real world’, we don’t buy that shit anymore than we believe Mindshare’s ‘3D’ planning tool is breaking new ground in media thinking, planning and execution.

Thanks to James for this – you’re right, it did light the touch paper 🙂


46 Comments so far
Leave a comment

wait ! I feel cheated ! What happened when you got the mic ? Is he dead meat now ?

Comment by fan

it reminds me of a couple of other cool two-words-one-name-no-caps kind of phrases: throughtcrime and newspeak.

actually, the first phrase that i thought of was one i saw plastered across the streets of east london last year: THIS IS A TUB OF WANK!!

Comment by lauren

have you gone into a time machine and set it to 1991? this is the campbell i knew. this is the campbell i liked. this is the campbell that manipulated me into doing a business with him.

mindshare my fucking arse. mindlessshare more fucking like. any client who thinks this company has their best interests at heart must be fucking mad. they do have some good guys in the place but they are only allowed to present and get their headshots in the media because when the critical moment comes theyre put into their little cages so the bean counters can make sure the channels they make the most cash out of are chosen. bit like the situation you were in campbell at our wpp experiment lol.

i like media i think its fucking great but ive rarely met anyone at a multinational comms planning unit that has encouraged any new thinking mainly because new thinking to them is stuff like television program creation which was done back in the 50s and costs more money than the thousand bucks they allocate towards it.

im all for agencies doing work that sells themselves as well as their client but these blinkered fuckers just focus on eyeballs and forget about quality, pace and intrigue of content.

fuck them and their fucking stupid name and logo change and let the good guys in the place revolt and show them they can still make money when they do good shit not just box ticking with good pr.

and little robbie is bound to write some gloating post about his revenge fan so dont be to upset. what i can tell you is he is some sort of fucking rockstar for repressed indian advertising people and enemy number fucking 1 for intellectual wannabes who talk but dont listen.

as i said i think campbell went into a time machine and i hope he stays in the year hes in

Comment by andy@cynic

I wanted to congratulate you on your award and talk about Mindshares stupidity however I find myself uncontrolably drawn to Superrob so I’m going to quietly go away and find a nice dark room to lie down and rest my screwed up head. 🙂

Comment by Pete

have you been recording our conversations??

Comment by sonal

super rob is ace. not quite worthy of lying down in a dark room on my own, but still fucking hilarious 🙂

Comment by lauren

reminds me of Escher… not a bad logo but the PR spin is top draw wank.

Comment by Age

I’ve alread passed on my congratulations to Marcus for his enjoyable creation so I’d like to add in my experience a brand that talks extensively about elements that will have little or no commercial value or benefit is a brand suffering from internal conflict, confusion or apathy.

And anyone who refers to anything as “future proof” is astoundingly misinformed.

Maybe Mindshare would be better off spending some of their money hiring Sunshne with their “create fate” philosophy rather than investing hundreds of thousands of pounds on pointless and ineffective public relations wallpaper.

And I don’t know who this Sonal is but I believe you may have your “insider” Robert.

Comment by Lee Hill

make that ex insider

Comment by sonal

So will the ex insider be a whistle blower or a mouse or is it that there’s nothing for Robert to get excited about?

Comment by Lee Hill

Don’t say anything Sonal – I know how pesky those bods at WPP can be with rumour and comment – save it till we catch up in a week or 2.

Lee, I’m ashamed of you – fancy trying to coax some nice person into a life of litigation hell.

[I know you’re now mortified at the thought you may have come across that way but don’t worry, we know you’re a nice guy really!]

Comment by Rob

Please accept my sincere apologies Sonal. My comment was not meant to encourage you to make any disparaging comments about your previous employer.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention Robert, it only became obvious to me once you had pointed it out. I also want to congratulate you on Google’s anniversary announcement. Having seen how the press release was worded (“the answers are out there”) and knowing your plans for the brand, I imagine you gentlemen had more than a hand in the development of the concept.

Mindshare should take note. This is a press release that communicates a genuine point of interest, it does not talk about Google dropping their capital G in favour of the lower case version.

Comment by Lee Hill

Are you bored or something Lee? You’ve made more comments today than all your previous comments put together.

Hell, even I don’t make that many when I’m procrastinating over a preso. Well, maybe I do …

Can’t talk about what we’re doing/done with Google but what I can say is they were always going to celebrate their 10th anniversary in style and I think investing in ideas that can benefit humanity is the most stylish way of all.

Saying that, it’s the things they will [hopefuly] be doing after this celebration that could truly prove Google are not evil but an excellent example of social capitalism at work.

I hope. Remember folks, the truth sets us free 🙂

Comment by Rob

Logo’s shit.

Morning!

Comment by Marcus

That is the sort of insight and bravery that has allowed Mindshare to be one of WPP’s jewels. I will be advising my board to change the name of iPhone to IPhone because I am sure that will keep complaints like Age’s at bay.
What other things could this poweful brand strategy work for? Subprime = subPrime?
War in Iraq = war in iraq?
This is amazing and I thought their sister agency Enfatico was supposed to be the future of communication. You proved them wrong didn’t you Mindshare.

Comment by Bazza

Don’t get me started on Enfatico Bazza. Just don’t.

Comment by Marcus

What are your views on Enfatico Marcus? 🙂

Comment by Bazza

some c 🙂 🙂 🙂 y logo, don’t you think Age 😉

Ah yes the mighty G, S&L..

10 million

Comment by Nick Fury

This is consistent with their introduction of new tools.

Comment by John

Emperors new clothes.

Jesus…

Comment by northern

Not biting Bazza. You evil bugger.

Comment by Marcus

I like the typography and hints of a mobius loop, but really its not that good is it.

… except that why are they dropping the s to lower case when the logo is in caps?!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

“I like the hints of a mobius loop?”

Careful Rob Mortimer or your sister company will be getting you to write their PR rubbish soon. 🙂

So Marcus, back to your views on Enfatico?

Comment by Bazza

Nick used the “C word”!
It’s against the rules to do that Nick, you better apologize and hope Rob can get to it before his mum.

Comment by Bazza

Not anymore he hasn’t.

I’m all for breaking the rules Nick, but when my Mum’s sanity is concerned I am sure you appreciate I can’t tolerate it.

Yellow card … but I still love you! 🙂

Comment by Robert

Mum C, my bad.

Comment by Nick Fury

these days Rob, that word just seems about the right tone of voice.

Comment by Nick Fury

thank fuck “dig out your soul” is brilliant

Comment by Nick Fury

andy and i have been dropping the caps from our bullshit for years – where’s our fucking press release?

Comment by lauren

I think the British and Australian education departments are going to be issuing a press release denying any responsibility shortly Lauren.

Comment by Rob

who you callin’ shortly 🙂

Comment by lauren

have you seen my Super Martin yet Campbell?

Comment by Marcus

On the bright side, it takes the WPP heat off me for once … 🙂

Comment by Rob

why does everybody hate WPP, really?

the amount of bitch slapping they get is quite massive

Comment by Nick Fury

I think the reason is partly creative snobbery “That accountant running half of adland, I bet he couldn’t draw/write a good ad if his life depended on it”…

The other half being that for years its been full of overly corporate agencies producing work thats too safe and dull. Though they (specifically JWT) are improving.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

wpp are a fucking brilliantly run company but their focus is more about about identifying ways to exploit revenue ops out of the process of advertising creation than the creation of advertising itself, thats fine except you keep hearing the same fuckers stand up like drones and claim otherwise. you just have to look at the agencies output prior to being bought by wpp to see that money focus attitude in action. people wrongly hate the fuckers but then wpp wrongly say they are supporters of creativity. the end

Comment by andy@cynic

nice to see no fucker has added anything of note to this post even though i broke the habit of a life time and decided to respond properly so fuck you all im going for our company breakfast and if we dont have enough sausages were all coming back to work early.

and i wrote in fucking capital letters this week just for marcus so wheres my pissing press release explaining how this is future proof and reflects my long standing belief that capital letters are a sign of globalisation or some other fucking shit

Comment by andy@cynic

We’re all in shock.

Comment by John

I don’t hate WPP. I just hate some of their agencies.

I’m a huge fan of Sir Martin don’t you know.

Comment by Marcus

he is you hero

Comment by Nick Fury

This is a good sign – Andy’s not back, so (praise the lord) there must have been sausages.

Comment by Marcus

yes marcus there were so i was fucking happy which meant everyone else was fucking happy. its all about me and my happiness dont you know?

Comment by andy@cynic

dont worry dodds it wont happen again. i cant be fucked putting in the effort and my genius should never be given away for free

Comment by andy@cynic

Reading this made me weep a little tear. Us advertising folk really are the occupants of the B Ark.

Comment by Leon Jacobs

so why are you letting kev roberts steer the fucking ship? lol

Comment by andy@cynic

Or is it the Titanic?

Comment by John




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