The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Anti Ads …
March 31, 2009, 6:30 am
Filed under: Comment

I always thought advertising was supposed to motivate people to buy – or at the very least – take a positive interest, however there seems to be a real trend at the moment of doing ads that seem to want to keep people away from the brand/product being sold.

That would be an absolutely brilliant strategy if it was a competitor making and paying for the spots, but it would seem that’s not the case.

The worst offenders are Government departments … I mean, who can forget this cringe-worthy bollocks …

But in the ever competitive region of Asia, someone has beaten it and not only is it the country I now [sometimes] a resident in, it features my [once] beloved Queen.

What on earth were they thinking???

And that question goes out to both the HK Government and Queen for licensing the track.

It is unmitigated shit.

Actually that’s being kind … it’s a car crash of old white farts, wannbe business entrepreneurs and hot Asian babes prancing about while a bunch of the most boring business reasons you’ve ever heard, run across the screen.

FREE ECONOMY

FREE FLOW INFORMATION
[I know it’s not as limited as China, but free flow? You can’t even get Oliver Stone’s “W” movie – though that could be because it’s total shit]

RULE OF LAW

GATEWAY TO CHINA

SKILLED WORKFORCE
[featuring some bloke doing a bloody cartwheel, which might be skilled, but doesn’t mean he can do the fucking accounts!]

And it didn’t escape my notice that all the local people seem to be positioned a level lower than the white guys. Jesus, with a government like that, who needs enemies?

I know I’ve not been out here very long but I’ve not had many days where the sky has been as blue as it appears in the clip … hell, I’ve not had many days where I’ve seen the sky fullstop!!

And the dancing. Oh the dancing.

It’s bad enough when you see your Uncle pissed as a fart at Christmas trying to throw a few moves to the soundtrack of Slade, but seeing a bunch of supposed celebrity businesspeople pretending to be happy versions of John Travolta [yet failing because they uniformly are out of time with the music, which – let’s be honest – is bloody hard when that tune is We Will Rock You, a song made up of THREE BLOODY NOTES], is sicker than a snuff video.

I guess the only thing that isn’t surprising is that in a country where fakes can be bought on every corner, the soundtrack of the ad is a ‘copy’ of the original …

Freddie Mercury must be turning in his grave … and anyone associated with this monstrosity should be put in one.

Terrible … terrible, terrible, terrible.

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Can’t See The Poverty For The Money …
March 30, 2009, 6:03 am
Filed under: Comment

There’s been lots and lots and lots of talk about the amounts of money being put into the economy by the dear tax payer – but with the numbers being bandied about getting ever more ridiculous, it all starts to become too bizarre to comprehend.

Well, because planning is supposed to help simplify the complex [allegedly] and I am sooooooo kind, I thought I’d help with this little preso.

Read and weep …

Need some more understanding of the money involved?

A trillion dollars is 12 zeroes to the left of the decimal point. TWELVE!

If you laid one dollar bills end to end, you could make a chain that stretches from earth to the moon and back again TWO HUNDRED TIMES!!

If a military jet was flying at the speed of sound reeling out a roll of dollar bills behind it, it would take 14 years before it ran out of money.

The U.S. government now spends more than the entire GDP of Australia, China and Spain COMBINED and American workers now net almost 30 percent less in real wages than they did in 1973.

On the bright side there’s so many people losing their jobs that this issue won’t even matter anymore.

On the negative, the total debt obligation of the United States now exceeds 46 TRILLION DOLLARS.

Have a good week. 🙂



You Can Tell Girth Hour Was A Success When …
March 29, 2009, 10:37 am
Filed under: Comment

… people are not just sick to their stomachs, but sick to their buckets.

Photo: Girth Hour in full swing. [L-R: Before, During & After]

Shockingly huge amount of cash raised for the homeless … almost as much as the amount of vomit that raised through our throats. I know that’s an unpleasant image, but you should be grateful I’ve not put any of the photos [taken with a flash!] up!

Andy was a star, but don’t expect to hear from him for a while, he is too busy lying down and drinking water. Lots and lots and lots of water.

[No comments allowed on this post, everyone’s too ill to respond 🙂 ]

Comments Off on You Can Tell Girth Hour Was A Success When …


What The F**k Is Quentin Tarantino Going To Do Now?
March 27, 2009, 3:55 pm
Filed under: Comment


The People Of Asia Can Save The People Of The US …
March 27, 2009, 7:00 am
Filed under: Comment

Shekhar Gupta – of the Indian Express Newspaper – explains how Asia can help America with their economic woes …

“All you need to do is grant visas to two million Indians, Chinese and Koreans.”

“We will buy up all the subprime homes. We will work 18 hours a day to pay for them.

We will immediately improve your savings rate – no Indian bank today has more than 2 percent nonperforming loans because not paying your mortgage is considered shameful here – and we will start new companies to create our own jobs and jobs for more Americans.”

Genius. And probably quite right.



1938 Singapore.
March 27, 2009, 6:32 am
Filed under: Comment

[Thanks to James for pointing this out to me]



The Illiteracy Of The Marketeer …
March 26, 2009, 6:21 am
Filed under: Comment

Alan Goh – director of SMU’s office of undergraduate admissions – says:

“We think we have been the catalyst in redefining how branding ought to be done in the tertiary sphere; we do not see ourselves merely competing against the local universities but universities within Asia, where attracting top quality talents to study in Singapore remains our focus.”

“In our quest to jettison ourselves from being a Singapore-based university into a world-class university, our strategy is to embrace new media – websites, blogs, chats, social networks – which are emerging to be powerful channels of communications that are part of youths’ lifestyle.”

“We thought out of the box and rationalised spending in the print medium while espousing a medium where we can become the media owner – the web. This is culled from our findings that the top three sources of information gathering by university-bound students are word of mouth, newspapers and SMU websites.”

I need add nothing more except to say SMU is a much better place than this campaign will do for them.

At its heart, it’s a university for entrepreneurs … people who want to create something with their life rather than simply follow the masses up the corporate ladder of a pre-exisiting, foreign, faceless organisation.

It’s more of the same bland bollocks every other Singapore University spouts and so as much as Alan say’s this is going to help them compete across Asia, the reality is its going to make them blend even more into the background.

If you want to attract youth – speak and think like them – what hope has the young generation got when their educators are focused on churning out even more brand consultants and investment bankers.