The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Today A New Sun Is Rising …
August 26, 2010, 5:55 am
Filed under: Comment

There’s times in my life where I feel a failure and a fraud.

I look at my life and just can’t work out how the hell I’ve done what I’ve done … it’s a life beyond my wildest expectations and – to be honest – there’s many times where I just don’t feel I deserve it.

I’m not talking about the ‘stuff’ I’ve acquired over the years, I’m talking about everything … my wonderful wife, family, friends, experiences. The lot.

There’s a line in a movie I once watched that sums how I feel perfectly:

“I’ve worked too damn hard to be where I belong”.

I know you all think I sit on my arse writing blog posts, tweets and stupid Facebook updates, but I have – and continue to – work pretty hard and yet I know a lot of people who work way harder than me and yet they’ve had none of the breaks I’ve enjoyed, and I feel incredibly guilty about that.

I know that sounds a bit pathetic, and if I had the talent, I’d of written it better so you would realise I’m not actually being a drama/whiner queen, but that is how I feel a lot of the time. Guilty.

The reality is I have an incredible amount of hang ups and insecurities … hang ups and insecurities that cover many aspects of my life and have been there for most of my life and whilst I can keep them in check most of the time, every now and then they come out and remind me they’re there and that I should never get too comfortable because they might come out one day and stay for good.

I know what I am saying sounds like I’m depressed but I’m not – as I said, I’m just not very good at being able to find the words that capture what I really want to say because the reality is I’m just a 40 year old man trying to work out how he got so lucky and what the hell he is here for.

But that’s not why I’m writing this post.

Oh no.

Today is a good day.

A wonderful day.

A simply super day.

Why?

Well because the little fella I wrote about 2 weeks ago has had his first operation and it went really, really well and there’s no permanent damage to his hearing which makes things much easier moving forward and Brian – the man who was the reason I set up the Human_2 lobby group, moved into his first ever house last weekend.

No council assistance.

No sharing with someone else.

His own place – earnt through 3 years of dedication, passion and persistence to his job … a job he almost didn’t have because of 40 pounds, F O R T Y P O U N D S … so his news makes me incredibly proud and happy – prouder and happier than any ad or new business win could ever achieve – which is why as much as sometimes I may question what I have done to deserve my good fortune, on the other side, I’m glad it’s allowed me to get involved with a few little things that have been able to make a bit of a difference and I genuinely believe if adland followed a similar approach [ala my social capitalism rants] then not only would it help everyone in the industry feel better about themselves, it might be seen as more commercially valuable too.

So to our little friend and Brian – thank you – I owe you more than you’d ever know.


26 Comments so far
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its good to know you feel a fucking fraud because it means deep down you know you owe me for everything youve ever achieved, but as much as youre a planning parasite youre one of the best fucking planning parasites ive ever met or worked with so stop being a miserable fuck because youve done more things in more ways to affect more people than the entire back slapping fuckers who pray at the church of pfsk and if you want proof you just have to ask brian and this little kid youve helped but refuse to tell people what youve done except me and i know you only did that to make me feel a fucking bastard.

which makes you a bastard. but a lovely, kind, generous and occasionally clever bastard.

so remember campbell, despite being a planning twat from nottingham who likes queen youre a good man but even that doesnt stop you from being physically concerning and theyre demons youre just going to have to come to fucking terms with.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s so amazing to read how you feel insecure because in person you seem one of the most together people I’ve ever met so thanks for sharing that, it takes guts and helps everyone who has ever questioned what they do to know they’re not alone.

As for Brian and the little baby (which in your original post you said you’d write about, especially the “plan” you were developing to try and stop these situations. Hint.) it is really great news and shows how just taking an interest and offering some targeted help can make a great difference to their immediate situation and further down the road, which is why we need you around because you do things when so many just watch and talk about how upsetting the situation is.

It’s not just adland that would benefit it if followed your example, I think society would. Great post, but I do agree with Andy that for all your happiness, it sounds that you are in a very reflective mood.

Comment by Pete

hes not in a reflective mood pete, the fucker wanted to make sure this post was all about him. hes the liz fucking hurley of blogging. but hes my liz fucking hurley of blogging.

Comment by andy@cynic

Great news. Great man.

Comment by George

all down to me. i get credit for this. actually i should get all the fucking credit for this but in a magnanimous gesture i am willing to share some of the spotlight with my former assistant.

Comment by andy@cynic

Reading this post made me feel shit squared because you do the crap I think about doing and I still share a pad with 2 frathouse dreamers who keep stealing my milk when I’ve been working like a porn star for the last 10 years.

Comment by Billy Whizz

brians made me like him even more.

and whats all this “working like a porn star” bollocks? you better mean that youve been fucked by the companies youve worked for rather than any suggestion you work hard. daily beer ofuckingclock doesnt exactly scream mr fucking conscientious.

Comment by andy@cynic

You do realise Robert that by suggesting you occasionally feel a failure and a fraud you are also saying your clients are misguided for calling upon your judgement, knowledge and expertise. You are excellent at what you do and that goes far beyond your work in the advertising industry.

I do hope you explain what you did for the little child as it obviously has had a rather immediate impact on how his life will turn out whereas Brian is an inspiration and having met the wonderful young gentlemen, I know there will be a regular stream of good news to come from him and despite what you may think or say, you played a major part in that occurring Robert and that is testimony to your character and talent.

Comment by Lee Hill

I agree with Pete, this dhows a side of you I would never imagine existed. You may be painfully sentimental but I never guessed you would doubt your abilities or achievements even with Andy’s regular blog “tough love”.

I’m really glad for Brian and the babies (does he have a name?) good news but it’s not as good as the day you came into their lives.

An inspiring post in more ways than one.

Comment by Bazza

its hard but i do it out of fucking love.

Comment by andy@cynic

Morning.

Contrary to what some people are saying, tongue-in-cheek or not:

1/ I don’t think I am alone in questioning myself. Maybe I’m a bit harsher than others [emphasis on ‘maybe’] but this is all part of the ‘secret’ side of people that I wrote about here.

2/ Despite my words on point #1, it does appear that Andy’s comment about me “turning this post into something all about me” is true, which was absolutely not the intention and kinda really pisses me off [ie: how I wrote it pisses me off, nothing Andy says even registers let alone offends me, ha!] because that absolutely wasn’t the intention because I just wanted to celebrate some good news of a couple of people I’ve latched onto.

3/ I absolutely and wholeheartedly do not believe I did anything special. That is not me being humble, it’s just a statement of fact and the reality is Lee and his company have  had more to do with ensuring Brian – and others like Brian – have the platform to change and control their life than I and my original 40 pound “investment” ever could hope to do.

Saying that, the reality is lives can be impacted in huge ways through little gestures and whilst I might have doubts on many aspects of who I am and what I do, helping move seemingly large [and yet often in the big scheme of things, frustratingly small] barriers out of the way to enable someone with passion, hopes, dreams and drive – thrive – is one of the most wonderful feelings on earth.

Too be honest, I almost feel selfish feeling this way because [1] I actually do very little indeed and [2] it feels it’s done more for my emotional good than their particular needs … but regardless of that, I’d rather feel conflicted about why I feel happy about helping out than not helping at all.

Hopefully in 2012 I – along with Lee – will be launching the most [even though I say it myself] evil genius scheme to help raise revenues for the homeless and change the mindsets of the masses and I will definitely seek all your help in making it happen and making it big … and given so many of the ideas around Human_2 stemmed from people who read this blog, if any praise is to be given [which actually it shouldn’t, except to Brian] then everyone deserves it rather than one. Despite what Andy may think. Ha

Comment by Rob

youve just out auntied aunty.

people might think youre a lovely guy and sometimes you can be (when jill is behind it) but i know this is all a fantastic ruse to appear to undermine the fragile ego of a bunch of people on this blog. not mine, we all know im brilliant, but theres others on here who are now looking in the mirror and asking who they are and what theyve done before drowning in a bath of beer as they realise (thanks to your help) theyre nothing and are destined to a life of bitter disappointment and anticlimax.

fuck i miss you campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

Conniving bastard. Respect.

Comment by Billy Whizz

You’re totally brilliant.

Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

1/8th brilliant. 2/8ths at a push but totally fucking brilliant? have you been sucking on the champagne bottle again jem.

and when the fuck are you coming to see me?

aunties been. petes been. ks been. daves been. even fucking billy boy has come and said hello but youre treating me like im one of your puppy dog admirers and treating them mean might keep them keen but it makes me fucking angry. come and buy me a beer.

Comment by andy@cynic

STFU and realise that youve made the world a better place for two people you could have ignored and humbled many of us who are reading this.

Comment by John

no dodds. not fucking you as well. oh fuck it, if you cant beat them, fuck off and hide. im off to the pub. you did good campbell, if only i could say that with your creative briefs.

Comment by andy@cynic

yeah. what doddsy said.

Comment by lauren

Good work fella.

Comment by DH

Thanks, but I didn’t do anything – can we please focus any praise on Brian, he did it and proved that given a chance, people can take back their life and make something out of it.

Comment by Rob

Good post. Good men. Good man.

Good morning.

Comment by Marcus

the motivation behind the act is much less important than the act itself.

actions speak louder than words anyway.

thanks for doing.
k

Comment by katie

please dont write another post like this campbell, i can only praise you once a fucking year. what am i worried about, sandra bullock coming out as nazi loving lesbian with one leg is more likely than you writing 2 good heartfelt posts in a row.

Comment by andy@cynic

drink some beer. do it now.

Comment by Marcus

Only because he knows we wouldn’t stand for it.

Comment by John

Well done, Brian. Well done small person of as-yet-undetermined name.

Comment by Chris




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