The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


A Face For Radio …
June 28, 2011, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

So a while back I was invited to Seattle so I could rant at the lovely folk at Microsoft.

You’d think they’d of learnt their lesson, but no – they went and did an interview with me about the digital and advertising landscape in China.

Saying that, I do have this sneaky suspicion that it was all a ruse so that they could …

1/ Attach a blue light thing to my neck to make me look like a robot.
2/ Do something to the microphone so I can sound like a robot.

… but on the brightside, they literally beeped out my swearing.

That’s bloody awesome, that’s never happened to me before and now I feel I can rub shoulders with some of the best – from George Best on Wogan to Roger Mellie, the man on the telly.

Saying all that, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with these interview things.

On one side, I really enjoy being able to express my point of view. Apart from the fact I have the ego of Bono and genuinely want Asia’s people and culture to be treated with respect by brands and business throughout the World, I find it hugely amusing that me – some bald, uneducated bloke from Nottingham – gets asked for his viewpoint alongside far better qualified and looking individuals.

Then there’s the hate bit … which basically happens the exact moment I watch or read whatever I’ve said.

It never comes out quite as I wanted …
It never sounds as strong as I hoped …
I use my hands like a mad scientist …
I get alarmed at just how much I ramble …
… and go off tangent …
And I sound like a fucking robot.

Maybe that’s why I like writing this blog. I get to control what I express more carefully … which begs the question, if this shit is me being more diligent, what on earth would it be like if I just succumbed to typing whatever my brain commanded my fingers.

I shudder to think …

Anyway, here’s my robot ranting rubbish, and yes, I am wearing a Queen t-shirt.



53 Comments so far
Leave a comment

my eyes. my fucking eyes.

Comment by andy@cynic

my ears. my fucking ears.

Comment by andy@cynic

my brain. my fucking brain.

Comment by andy@cynic

my self respect. my fucking self respect.

Comment by andy@cynic

you telling me the bollocks you write on here is you thinking things through?

hahahahahaha. ahaha. hahahahaha.

Comment by andy@cynic

What Andy said.

Comment by john

they thought what you had to say was so important that it deserved being recorded with two mics on full level.

Comment by peggy

only one camera though. strange.

Comment by peggy

and i thought paying 8 billion for skype was as stupid as microsoft could fucking get. good on you campbell for proving me wrong.

Comment by andy@cynic

I like that. I shouldn’t, but I do.

Comment by Rob

fuck beeping you out, they needed to put one of those black envelope boxes over your fucking mug like they used to do on those shitty 1980s investigative bollocks like roger cook when interviewing a nark.

Comment by andy@cynic

Your chinese is fluent Rob because I didn’t understand a word you said.

Comment by Billy Whizz

top fucking marks for insulting billy. very fucking impressed.

Comment by andy@cynic

All the praise I need.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Good one Billy. Possibly your best. I deserved that.

Comment by Rob

I would comment on the interview, but all I got was “an error occurred. Please try again later”.

Comment by john

count yourself very fucking lucky.

george. did you tell the mountainview nerds to take down campbells video? fuck me, they really are about doing good arent they.

Comment by andy@cynic

Could you stop being so tough on yourself Robert. Your industry press interview/commentaries are always enjoyable because of your passion, humour and insight and this Microsoft one is another perfect example of that.
So many people put out middle of the road statements that are designed to mean nothing so as to not offend anyone whereas you stand up for what you believe and your belief in the Asia region is wonderful to see.
So enough of the self depreciation, the industry would be worse off without you wading in to defend the thoughts and rights of the masses because I don’t see many others doing it.

Comment by George

sorry doddsy, seems its your computer thats fucked.

Comment by andy@cynic

yes it is, it actually played the interview in full – all six hours of it.

Comment by john

oh the relativity of time

Comment by peggy

And in all that time, not one mention of gamification.

Comment by john

i should point out auntie george enjoyed the black swan (and not because of the lesbo action) so he has no fucking idea whats good.

Comment by andy@cynic

we should be grateful those microsoft fuckers were behind it. if it was campbell and he did it like he writes this blog itd be longer than apocalypse now reduex.

Comment by andy@cynic

thank god theres no mention gamification

Comment by peggy

you surely mean that taleb book

Comment by peggy

My view on the black swan may be questionable, but my view on Robert isn’t.

Comment by George

look at you getting all high and fucking mighty. mary away?

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s not self-deprecation if you post it on your blog.

Comment by john

it is when we get our fucking mits on it.

Comment by andy@cynic

+1

Comment by Pete

This isn’t because I’m a creep or a planner, but because what Rob say’s on this video is good and a whole heap more insightful than the majority of talking head interviews I’ve watched about digital advertising or Asia.

Comment by Pete

Of course it is, but that’s no excuse for putting it on this blog.

Comment by john

there is no excuse for him to write this fucking blog.

stop drinking the fucking kool aid pete.

Comment by andy@cynic

OK, it’s rubbish. Happy?

But it isn’t.

Comment by Pete

Thank you Pete and George – but it’s a fruitless battle, honest.

Comment by Rob

at least you understand one fucking thing.

Comment by andy@cynic

… and these were the news from mars.

subtitles in english coming soon.

Comment by jim

Maybe the problem is Microsoft used their XP OS to record your voice.

Comment by Bazza

But I agree with George on what you said. And a hint of Billy.

Comment by Bazza

isn’t every society build on social network kinda principles? What is diff about Asia? And this is not some smart ass remark or hidden bald joke. Am actually curious.

Comment by Niko

Good point Niko.

There’s a few reasons [including the influence of the one child policy here] however I’d say one of the differences is that the principal of business in Asia has always been about ‘who you know’ rather than ‘what you know’, resulting in an attitude where people have always actively looked for the shortest route to achieve what you want/need – hence ‘connections’ have always been inherent in this culture rather than something people have embraced since tech has made it easier to happen.

Of course this is not unique to everyone in Asia – nor am I saying it is exclusive of the West – but having lived in both regions, you definitely see it’s role here having more value and importance, though it could be argued organised crime [especially mafia etc] have been following a similar principal for decades.

Comment by Rob

not having lived here and there, i can affirm it is firstly about who you know and secondly about what you know. i wouldnt cut it in a chunk of west. but i see that social network tech stuff is more embraced in parts of the west where family is still more important to identity construction (not an advanced focus on individuality) than it might be in the west where the family stronghold isnt that strong. i guess this applies all over the world. a need and strong tradition of human bonding, information exchange and showcasing is transferred to the new tech framework and used as a new tool.
just my 2 cents. you seem to agree with the family point anyway since you mention la famiglia.

Comment by peggy

for the record, i am talking about using it for personal matters, not as a professional networking tool.

Comment by peggy

‘regional head of creative strategy’ – my, my!!! 😉

Comment by Anjali

It’s better than calling me the managing director of W+K which is what they did in Seattle.

Comment by Rob

Were you really called that? Brilliant.

Comment by Pete

dan must be so fucking happy that some bald english fuck who has been with the company for 2 fucking minutes could be mistaken for the founder of his company.

what id fucking give to sit in your annual review.

Comment by andy@cynic

I think you did very well. What was that blue thingy under your chin?

Comment by Marcus

The machine Dan uses to give me an electric shock whenever I say something he doesn’t like.

Comment by Rob

nice.

Comment by Marcus

I assumed it was a second chin.

Comment by john

That is some weird echo.
Good points though.

Comment by Rob Mortimer




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: