The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


To Be Or Not To Be …
September 27, 2011, 6:11 am
Filed under: Comment

You’re quite successful.

You’ve had a good career and done quite well out of it financially.

Yet despite that, you still have not quite achieved the legacy that you feel you deserve – so what do you do?

Do you:

[A] Accept that you’re very fortunate to be in the position you’re in and appreciate and enjoy every moment of what you’ve got?

[B] Work even harder to achieve the break-through you know you’re capable of making … and 1,000,000 percent deserve?

[C] Get plastic surgery to look like someone who has unparalleled levels of respect?

If you chose [C], then you will probably get on very well with Chinese author, Zhang Yiyi who is planning to fork out US$153,000 to look like William bloody Shakespeare.

Wanting to look like someone famous is nothing new – as we have seen on the MTV “classic”, I Want A Famous Face – however Zhang is taking it to another level, even though there is the suspicion this is nothing more than another of his well documented publicity stunts.

I’ve written a lot about celebratory endorsement in the past – especially Asia’s fascination with it all – however wanting to change your appearance to resemble someone well known is beyond me, especially when the person you want to look like died so long ago, that few people would ever recognise who they are trying to be in the first place.

OK … OK … so maybe it has nothing to do with wanting to make other people think you’re someone you’re not, but in these cult of celebratory times, these sorts of actions and decisions are scary as it’s basically an evolution of the illusion and delusion elements that have been infiltrating society for the last decade or so.

Anyway I have to go, I’ve got to go and get surgery to look like a cross between a member of ZZ Top, the Unabomber and Dan Wieden.



30 Comments so far
Leave a comment

when i saw you were writing about plastic fucking surgery i thought youd finally got the fucking message after 15 years of fucking hints but no, mr insight misses the point again and rambles on about some chinese writer no fucker has ever heard of.

Comment by andy@cynic

and we all know who is to blame for that mtv zero emmy masterpiece dont we auntie fucking george.

Comment by andy@cynic

You mean George the plastic pusher?

Comment by DH

why the fuck didnt we think of calling him that at the time. auntie plastic pusher has a fucking great ring to it. bollocks.

Comment by andy@cynic

thats the best fucking photo of you ive ever fucking seen campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

Anything that hides most of his unique face is going to be a positive move.

Comment by Billy Whizz

why the fuck the bastard didnt want to look like me is fucking anyones guess. with a few delicate cuts of the surgeons knife the bastard would be a babe magnet in no fucking time, having to push wave after wave of nubile flesh off his body with a shitty stick. what a twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

Maybe he was worried about having to buy a house in Vancouver?

Comment by DH

and in a fucking millisecond you go from slightly above average to on par with planner campbell. thats a more sever downturn than the fucking sharemarket. or axl roses fucking career.

Comment by andy@cynic

+ Gold.

Comment by Rob

Anyone else hearing Dan Wieden sharpening his knives?

Comment by DH

I’d want to look like that woman who wrote 4 eyes potter, she’s much richer than limey shakespeare. and she is hotter. that chinese guy is mental.

Comment by Billy Whizz

And you would finally get to touch a woman.

Comment by DH

evil fucker dave. well fucking done.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thank you so much for that image.

Comment by John

I can spot jealousy speaking Dave.

Comment by Billy Whizz

And thank you Rob for keeping us up to date with the news from April 21, 2011. Finger on the pulse as ever.

Comment by John

And will you be the one who breaks it to Mr Yiyi that nobody actually knows what Shakespeare looked like?

Comment by John

campbell pointed that out in his post doddsy so youre a fine fucker to talk. besides april 2011 is fucking up to date for the queen loving, 1982 fashion wearing, forest following fuck that is campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’re defending my honour. Sure, you’re doing it in a way that insults me, but I’m still shocked and impressed.

Comment by Rob

i didnt fucking defend your honour, i was just calling out doddsys quality of insult. it had nothing to do with me wanting to protect you, as far as im fucking concerned, taking the piss out of you is fair game.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thanks for clarifying that – everyone can breathe a big sigh of relief.

Comment by Rob

I am insulted that you think I would read the whole post – a cursory glance over the first couple of sentences is enough to determine if it’s one of those rare occasions when further reading might be beneficial.

And of course he’s not defending you Rob, your assertion is wrong on so many pedantic levels. We do know what specific contemporaries of Shakespeare look like, we just don’t know what Shakespeare actually looked like. But people will recognise Mr. Yiyi because he will presumably be transformed into a replica of the prevailing uncorroborated image of Shakespeare.

In future, I shall stick to picking on Billy – it’s much less exhausting for all of us. As it is for the women in his life.

Comment by John

I don’t think the people of China would unanimously know what Shakespeare looked like though John.

See how I play that ‘culture’ card … it’s like a “get out of jail” which I intend to exploit as I’ve just landed in Beijing and have trouble to cause.

Comment by Rob

are you on the fucking strepsils again campbell because youre sounding like a drunkard bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

Handbags at dawn, excellent

Comment by northern

That must warm the cockles of your emo heart.

Comment by John

That joke isn’t funny anymore

Comment by northern

You’re right. I momentarily forgot that we are here to focus our attention on the ‘author’

Comment by John

can you stop being a pair of soft pricks, its distracting me from the softest and smallest dick of them all.

Comment by andy@cynic




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