The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Airmail? More Like Airfail …
October 18, 2011, 6:14 am
Filed under: Comment

I can be petty.

Not as petty as John Dodds, but petty all the same.

And one thing that gets right on my nerves is when I see ads like this one from Lufthansa.

There are so many reasons this ad annoys me …

Putting aside the fact having internet access on a plane basically robs me of the last place I can hide from all the demands and expectations of life and work so I will do all I can to avoid any airline offering that service … Lufthansa have decided to promote this ‘innovation’ with one of the blandest and most contrived pieces of shit since the last tele-movie by Hallmark or a Singapore Airlines ad.

Everything about this ad bothers me.


But the bit that gets my goat slightly more than everything else is the fact the woman is holding her iPhone 4 the wrong way round.

Of course it’s because it she used the front camera, the ‘idea’ in the ad would be lost because all you’d end up seeing is the back of the phone, but as far as I am concerned, that would be a great thing because the whole concept is rubbish, built around the term ‘airmail’ rather than an idea that makes on board wi-fi sound appealing.

Fuck, when you think of all the things they could have done and they decide this is the way to go – something blander than even a beige Volvo – you wonder what the hell the sex life of the Lufthansa board must be like.

OK, maybe that’s just me.

From being able to position themselves as the ‘social network’ airline … through to ‘the plane that lets you be an annoying show-off bastard to your friends’ … to the plane ‘for the paranoid’ … to the airline for ‘the business traveller who wants to be there for his family even when he’s not there for his family’ … to the plane ‘for the efficient from the national airline of the efficient’ … anything would be better than this rubbish, though given the message of the ad and the fact the ‘talent’ can’t even hold an iPhone 4 the right way round, it would appear Lufthansa have identified a core audience of tech imbeciles, probably because they’ll be the only idiots who’ll be happy to pay $10 a minute to send an email of themselves sitting on a fucking plane.

This ad might work for people with all the personality of magnolia wallpaper, but for anyone with half a brain – or even an iPhone 4 – it’s more likely to drive them straight to Aeroflot or worse, United Airlines.

Yes, that’s how much I hate this ad.

41 Comments so far
Leave a comment

where the fuck is doddsy. i almost miss the pedantic fucker.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s what I want to know as well. Surely I’ve given him enough stuff to be pedantic about?

Comment by Rob

maybe they did that shit ad because the krauts knew it would annoy you because they know theres no fucking chance youll fly them while you can extort freebies out of uncle dickies flying empire. parasite.

Comment by andy@cynic

Not sure we can learn anything from this ad other than that shit is shit is shit regardless of whose logo is attached to it. I remember back to DDB’s wonderful, relevant, ads for Lufthansa back in London in the 60s. Aw fuck.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

have you seen the singapore airlines shit theyre churning out? this is a brand that got a fuck load of its success from fucking ads and now they put out the sort of shit that doubles as wallpaper. good job they have hot hosties and a fucking good product. adland might be one of the industries that has gone backwards over fucking time. at least some fuckers in adland. like ddb.

Comment by andy@cynic

I saw a VW ad by DDB yesterday that I am sure is enough for Bill Bernbach to resurrect himself and go and beat the shit out of the current board of directors for what they’ve done to his company. Thank god they still pull off some good stuff – sadly, VW is not one of them.

Comment by Rob

united airlines is more of a weapon of destruction than any fucking nuclear missile except they destroy your soul not your fucking house.

Comment by andy@cynic

They’re even worse now that they’ve merged with continental to form a big stinking fleet of motorized turds.

I really fucking hate them.

Though I have to admit I flew them this weekend and the fuckers gave me an upgrade. It was on an hour and a twenty minutes flight, so it only means I got to refuse their nasty snacks and the flight attendant wrote the flight number on my immigration card for me, but still, I guess my twitter threats are working.

Comment by Rafik

I love this comment. LOVE IT.

Mind you, I am sleep deprived right now.

Comment by Rob

i should like your “show off bastard” idea most but i like the efficiency pisstake. if you want to humanise yourself, self depreciate dont fucking make it worse by trying to be emotional in the coldest and most stupid fucking way possible.

Comment by andy@cynic

Careful Andy, you’re giving a bit of useful advice there.

Comment by Rob

its ok campbell, i can fucking invoice every fucker for it.

Comment by andy@cynic

isnt lufthansa the fuckers who you got that perti can helden type email from? says it all.

Comment by andy@cynic

unless you didnt then it says fuck all.

Comment by andy@cynic

like 99.999% of the shit you put out on this blog. that would be viewed as a failure of consistency by the bastards who bombed my grans chippy in ww2. pricks.

Comment by andy@cynic

No – it was the planning director of Y&R Germany who was pitching for the Lufthansa account and sent me an email about their pitch with the wonderful words:

“We are now ready to take off and fly very high”.

They didn’t win.

Comment by Rob

If they can’t get basic technology right, I’m not flying in one of their planes.

Comment by DH


Comment by Carol

Of course they got it right, these people exist. They hold the phone and type with one finger. They download £1 apps called ‘iPhone mirror’ only to discover that their lack of tech knowledge caused them to bleed a feeble fraction of what they spent on their phone, only to file vitriolic comments on the app’s store page: “what a ripoff! I want my money back!”

Their previous phone was probably a Motorola razr they got because their teen daughter had one.

Like ad makers, like audience – clueless. But maybe they’re in a nicer place. Not on the Internet at midnight worrying about how Lufthansa tries to make more money out of the gullible. Or maybe..

Comment by Andrea

youve got to work on your fucking sarcasm but a very fucking promising start.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m forced to get on a Lufthansa flight every 3 months, it’s working out brilliantly.

Comment by andrea

A fantastic example of advertising designed by committee for committee. Terrible and bland in perfect symmetry.

Comment by George

you even insult nicely. fucker.

Comment by andy@cynic

i fucking hate tech and even i noticed the flaws in this fucking ad. beyond the concept and the totally fucking shit execution.

Comment by andy@cynic

When Andy notices a tech flaw you know you must be in trouble.

Comment by DH


Comment by Rob

fucking little weasel.

Comment by andy@cynic

So I could watch youporn on their plane? Works for me.

Comment by Billy Whizz

and for northern. if he watches it at work he sure as fucking shit will watch it on his way to a family holiday.

Comment by andy@cynic

theres a fucking audience they could have tapped in to. the german fucking pervert and we all know theres a fuckload of those dirty bastards.

Comment by andy@cynic

I can hear you you know

Comment by Northern

Aren’t you supposed to be being a responsible Dad right now?

Comment by Rob

Supposed to be but Evie is back in hospital and even this blog is better than pacing corridors

Comment by Northern

Hope all is OK matey.

And I’m going to think about using that quote as a by line to this blog:

“better than pacing [hospital] corridors”

Comment by Rob

The chick is pretty hot though.

Comment by Age

Look at you, updating where your name link takes you.


Comment by Rob

I’m adding a deeper level of engagement to the blog 😉

Comment by Age

Yes, with comments like “the chick is pretty hot”, I can see that.

Comment by Rob

She could have taken the photo and then posed?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

and why the fuck would she do that? careful, a career in mindnumbing marketing medifuckingocrity could be a few steps away if you carry on with that shit.

dont. let. me. fucking. down.

Comment by andy@cynic

She might be a show off…
She might be mental…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

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