The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

You Know Marketing Is In Trouble When Even Religion Goes Bland …
October 26, 2011, 6:01 am
Filed under: Comment

When we started cynic, we were desperate to do some work for a religion simply because we liked the idea of doing work for someone that stood for something.

None of this, “it’s all about you” or “your choice, your way” nonsense, they say stuff they mean and believe in.

Stuff that has a point.

Stuff that makes a genuine statement.

We never did manage to get one, however we were lucky enough to end up working with Virgin – a different sort of religion – so we were able to relieve our mouthy bastard tendencies with someone else … and that’s fortunate because last week I was traipsing online, I saw this:

Yes, it’s Norman the Morman.


And it’s not a joke.

It could be. It should be. But it’s not.

OK, so they’re obviously trying to tackle the view that people of science don’t believe in religion which is a fair idea, however by using Norman the Morman [sorry, I can’t stop myself from typing that!] as the campaigns figure-head, it sort-of undermines the magnitude of such a revelation, resulting in people – or at least me – remembering the slogan but having no interest in [1] delving any deeper or [2] understanding why Norman decided being a Morman was right for him.

Alright, so maybe Norm is the only follower they have who is also a scientist – which would undermine their entire argument somewhat – however that aside, choosing a spokesperson who sounds like some spoof character on the Fast Show is not the best way to encourage religious conversion – at least with people who you might actually want to see in your Churches.

I know a number of religions are experiencing massive shortfalls in ‘membership’ and maybe part of that is because they are deemed irrelevant to the lifestyle and situations that so many people now live – however relevance and dumbing down are not the same thing and religious beliefs aside [mainly because I haven’t got any] I find it pretty tragic that one of the only industries that has not been afraid to say what it believes and stand up for what it believes has decided acting like an FMCG brand – “say little, but say it everywhere” – is the best course of action for their business.

Bring back the fire and brimstone I say … turn it into an XBOX game – at least if you do that, I might spend some time thinking about it which I can tell you, will improve the odds of converting me by about 10,000,000%, especially if the alternative is trying to lure me in with scientist Norman the Morman.


33 Comments so far
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fuck me campbell, all you had to say was “norman the mormon” sounds fucking daft, you didnt have to go on for fucking years. but then thats what you fucking do isnt it. beat us down with boredom. bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s all about brand consistency.

Comment by Rob

tristian the christian.

Comment by andy@cynic

Tristian? Who on earth is called Tristian?

Comment by northern

People in London. Or so I’ve heard.

Comment by Rob

twathead the fucking catholic.

Comment by andy@cynic

and no fucking bitching, that works for me and thats all that fucking matters.

Comment by andy@cynic

Bo Derek the catholic.

Comment by Anon

best reason not to turn to religion. youre a fucking babe one moment, a haggard piece of leathery shite the next. and if you think theyre unconnected youre a fucking mental.

Comment by andy@cynic

id imagine the mormon fuckers are quite happy youre not joining them. theyd rather you join one of their fucking “competitors” so all those blind faith fuckers leave thinking the devil has just become a fucking follower.

Comment by andy@cynic

I take that as a compliment.

Comment by Rob

wife #1 wanted to get hitched in a catholic church.

she wasnt catholic, she wasnt anything, she liked the idea of some big statement bollocks. shouldve seen the fucking signs then.

so we meet the religious bloke who might “marry us” and hes a prick.

ok so he was pissed another fucking faithless couple wanted to use his religious bullshit but he was going to be making a shitload of cash just for spouting some religious guff at us in a run down fucking church but he was still a prick.

so he turns to me and says “do you believe in god” and i reply, “youve been acting like a rude dick to us so i could ask you the same question” which is why we ended up marrying in a civil service and i got a wife who fucking begrudged me for fucking up her marriage fantasies for the next 5 years she made my life a living fucking hell.

religion. screws you up more than fucking crack.

Comment by andy@cynic

Any marriage falling apart is horrible, but when you get stories like this, there’s an upside. Still not the best tale of your exes but I don’t think it’s appropriate I say it on here. Look at me Andy, being sensitive to you. Amazing.

Comment by DH

wise fucking decision because my fucked up emotional and financial choices werent mad to amuse a bunch of fuckwits on this blog. out of interest, give me a fucking clue to wish emotional fucking heartbreaking situation you find so fucking funny. you sick bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

The “yeah, she’s changed” incident.

Comment by DH

well she fucking started it so she got what she fucking deserved. enjoy laughing at my fucking pain you emotion exploiting parasite wanker.

Comment by andy@cynic

Not that I’m happy about the pain you went through, but that was pretty funny … and given I know what she put through, it’s also pretty deserved.

Comment by Rob

That’s called ‘loyalty’ if you were wondering Andy … though you might need to get a dictionary to understand what it’s supposed to mean.

Comment by Rob

the Mormon clients should of hooked up with Trey and Matt from Southpark… their book of mormon tony winner will do/has done more to get them positive feedback than this ever will/has..

mainly because they did the work and treated these people with more genuine respect than most agencies do clients.

Once while they were doing some interview for the Team America movie, they talked about how they watched Simpson/Bruckheimer movies over and over again till they could dream the mechanics of a proper action blockbuster.

Only then, after really understanding it, were they able to rip the genre to shreds and still make it look better than high budget action flicks. and they made dolls have functional sex.

It takes skill to do populism without dumbing down…hence pieces of crap like this ad, tarantino movies, PSFK, hipsters..

Comment by niko

youre anger has been fucking missed around here niko, its good to have you back. only good thing religions ever done for me.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’d rather have it as a PS3 game.

Comment by DH

youre as fucked as campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

Norman looks like a twat.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Are mormons the ones who don’t celebrate christmas? Fuck that then, I like presents. Receiving, never giving.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Can I point out a scientist saying he believes in religion is quite a controversial statement. Or it would be if the scientist wasn’t called Norman and followed the mormon faith.

Comment by Pete

That’s a very good point actually. How bloody tragic that their ad didn’t even make me think about it in those terms.

Comment by Rob

Is Norman even a scientist? I’ve just read the headline again and it says he believes in God’s physics, not his. This makes the ad even worse.

Comment by Pete

And that’s an even better point. Bugger.

Comment by Rob

Personally, the only religion I need is Media Arts

Comment by northern

That’s another religion I think is responsible for inflicting terrible harm on millions.

Comment by Rob

On me at least

Comment by northern

By the way. I’m back

Comment by northern

is that how long you have to be a caring and committed dad for? a few fucking weeks? thats fucking great. if id known that i might have had one fucking ages ago. instead i spent my money on fucking alimony.

Comment by andy@cynic

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