The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

X Factor? Z Factor …
November 16, 2011, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

So I was in Australia last week and I found myself watching their version of X-Factor.

Believe it or not, I’d never seen an episode of the show – in the UK, US or Australia – and while that alone is probably one of the best reasons to live in Asia, I was kind of interested to see what it was all about.

Well, as you all know – it was absolute pants – but what I found fascinating were the ‘guest artists’ the Australian producers decided were the best choices to represent what the show is all about.

In order.

1. Michael Bolton.
2. Ricki-Lee Coulter.
3. Susan Boyle.


An out-of-date singing embarrassment … a current day, only-known-in-Australia, singing embarrassment and a star who might owe more of her success to people’s guilt than singing talent.

Yep, that show is really going to give singers a platform of credibility to leap off.

To their death.


29 Comments so far
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No queen? But they turn up for birthday parties these days.

Comment by Billy Whizz

i saw the old fuckers on some mtv bollocks in ireland. justin fucking twat haircut looked more rock and roll.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes, I saw that too and as much as I hate to admit it, it felt like a couple of parents gatecrashing their 17 year old kids birthday party and then trying to fit in.

Not their finest hour.

Comment by Rob

theyve only had a finest 7 minutes, never a fucking hour.

Comment by andy@cynic

Queen would win x factor.

That’s not a compliment to queen or x factor.

Comment by Billy Whizz

And I thought your love of Jerry Springer was bad.

Comment by DH

X factor is way worse than Jerry Springer, he is good for a laugh and has chicks who get them out. Australian x factor sounds like it might be worse than all the worlds shit put together.

Comment by Billy Whizz

the problem with the chicks who got their tits out for jerry is they were all chicks who needed to keep them hidden behind a fucking metal curtain and put their face inside 10 brown paper fucking bags. i didnt know tits could reach a womans knees till i watched that show.

Comment by andy@cynic

I thought Australia had ceased to be a dumping ground for criminals.

Comment by George

Newsflash: George in attempted joke.

Are you taking note Pete? If he can try, you can try.

Comment by Billy Whizz

What George said.

Comment by Pete

That’s planner humor isn’t it?


Comment by Billy Whizz

also known as being a smarmy fuck face twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

well done george. finally a fucking breakthrough. its shit. but its still a breakthrough.

Comment by andy@cynic

George being topical. Well, if topical means being 200 odd years out of date.

Comment by Rob

fuck me george, campbells kicking you. are you going to take that shit or are you going to leave it to me to sort the cheeky little fucker out? please leave it to me to sort the cheeky little fucker out.

Comment by andy@cynic

He’s harmless.

Comment by George

Is that comment a slight on ‘Italians’?

Comment by Rob

i dont know if i should admire your bravery or piss on your stupidity. x factor? no, australian fucking x factor. who the fuck are the judges? cowell is bad enough, which zzzz grade wankers are on the aussie bollocks version? donovan? minogue? the parents of the dead pervert fucker from inxs? being told you have the x factor by one of those wankers is like being told youre fucking sexy by susan fucking boyle.

its bad enough you are a magnet for everything thats fucked up campbell, but dont make it worse by watching that pile of shit. for your mothers sake if nothing else.

Comment by andy@cynic

The only judges I can remember were the lead singer from that Irish boy band monstrosity, Westlife [I think that’s who he was with … and no, I’m not pretending I don’t know because I think that will give me some cred] and – you’ll love this – Mel B from the Spice Girls.

So judges almost as topical as George’s comment about Australians and the ‘guest stars’ chosen by the tone-deaf or visually impaired program producers.

Comment by Rob

fuck me, i knew it would be fucking bad but i didnt know it would be that fucking desperate and fucked up.

Comment by andy@cynic

Scary spice is giving advice on how to sing? So x factor australia is a comedy?

Comment by Billy Whizz

and how fucking bad must the producers of that shit feel when some queen loving, 3 year old fashion sense wearing, tech fucking, z grade following twat tells them even he thinks what theyre making is a pile of wank.

theres going to be some suicides tonight campbell. good work.

Comment by andy@cynic

I watched Germany’s Got Talent and saw a guy with a Hitler tasche sliding on skates wearing nothing but budgie smugglers…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

What’s the definition of talent? Seems it’s more about having the balls to make a fool of yourself on syndicated television than doing anything of quality. Just saying.

Comment by DH

That might be the best definition I’ve heard of everyone who appears on that show.

Comment by Rob

I prefer Strictly Come Dancing, for the outfits.
Or lack of them.
The women I mean.

Comment by northern

i dont know if the thieving aussie fuckers have that show northern but if they do you can assume it would be so shit that youd get more hard on inducing action out of fucking sesame street. explains why you live in the land of flat caps and pigeons.

Comment by andy@cynic

No girls wear outfirts like that up here, it’s too cold

Comment by northern

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