The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Strategy Is As Easy As Knowing Your A, B … Errrm, That’s It.
November 23, 2011, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

There’s a lot of shit talked about strategy.

At the end of the day it’s simply getting from point A to point B … with ‘A’ being where you are now and ‘B’ being where you need to be for a whole host of commercial reasons.

That’s it.

Nothing more.

Of course how you get there requires a lot of thinking and exploring and ultimately, doing … however at it’s heart, the concept of strategy is simple and so here are 6 ways to tell whether the person you are talking to is talking strategic rubbish or not.

1. They need 30 minutes to explain what their objective is.

2. They need 30 minutes to explain what their objective is without actually explaining why that is their objective.

3. They have a list of about 30 things they claim are ‘strategic objectives’.

4. They don’t articulate a specific objective at all, they just talk about ‘producing stuff’.

5. They talk about strategy in terms of timelines rather than meeting a specific objective within a specific timeline [and why that timeline is important for their business]

6. They talk about what they want you to do, not what they need to achieve.

Rather than being a thin line between strategic objectives and strategic approaches, there’s a great big fat one … so if the person you’re talking to doesn’t understand the difference, let alone appreciate the difference, I would suggest you either point it out to them or just smash them in the face and claim it’s a handshake because they are so delusional, they just might believe it.


42 Comments so far
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Streamline your day with a Phantom Flan Flinger.

Comment by Chris

tiswas references? most up to date bollocks ever said on this blog. well fucking done chris.

and to the twats that dont know what were talking about, its another bit of grade fucking a culture england gave the poxy piece of shit world.

Comment by andy@cynic

Tiswas rocked. Phantom Flan Flinger … Spit The Dog … they were the days when kids TV was bloody awesome.

Comment by Rob

i dont know why i dont hate this post but I dont.

oh i fucking know why, im hungfuckingover.

Comment by andy@cynic

My poor head.

Comment by George

very fucking rich head you mean. lightweight.

Comment by andy@cynic

all 6 points sound like a fucking bad client as well as a fucked up planner, strategist or whatever fucking name you pricks have decided to use today.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yep. But I thought I’d leave you to say that.

Comment by Rob

have you photoshopped that pic of michael jackson because youve made the fucker look black.

Comment by andy@cynic

Word.

Comment by John

That was meant to be a reference to Tiswas not Michael Jackson, but Andy’s comment frenzy caught me out.

Comment by John

i thought it would be a fucking cold, cold, cold day in fucking hell before doddsy, the stephen fucking fry of this blog, started using yankee street slang but here he is, using it.

im going to say its for ironic fucking purposes or we might as well all fucking kill ourselves and i have money to get out of campbell before that happens.

Comment by andy@cynic

poor fucking excuse doddsy but i dont want you having another fuckin holiday from this shithole blog so well give you a yellow card and say no more of the fucking matter.

Comment by andy@cynic

I don’t want this to become the Jonestown of blogs, so I’m relieved to say I was being ironic.

Comment by John

i absofuckinglutely want it to be the jonestown of blogs, just with me alive and kicking. someones head preferably.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh John … Oh John, John, John …

Comment by Rob

7) They don’t explain a credible and sustainable source of competitive advantage. Usually because they don’t understand the concept.

Comment by John

not quite doddsy, its just in their world, the fact it comes from them is their competitive advantage ignoring it costs more, performs shit and is bad for you.

parity is the new progress for the fuckers.

Comment by andy@cynic

“Parity is the new progress” is an awesome way to describe the business strategy of many companies. I’ll be borrowing that, which further proves your point.

Comment by Pete

Parity is a placebo.

Comment by John

stop trying to ruin my genius doddsy. you fucked up your cred today with the “word” word. and go for it pete, but remember every time you use it you owe me us$25 or i come and make your face parity with a fucking pancake.

Comment by andy@cynic

remember that 80 page fucking brief we got campbell from our fizzy friends that didnt say a fucking thing? best bit was when you said youd read it and still wasnt sure what it was they wanted. they went as red as their fucking cans. that was a good fucking day with you. for once.

Comment by andy@cynic

How could I possibly forget.

80 pages to basically say “optimism”. We got there in the end & as I’m about to start working with them again, I can only say the experience was nothing but positive and fulfilling and I don’t care what you say otherwise.

Comment by Rob

so you wont be giving them your “fuck isnt swearing” presentation again? wimp.

Comment by andy@cynic

I agree with Andy, this advice is good for clients as well as anyone who has a role in the development of strategic arguments in agencies.

Comment by Pete

you know it makes fucking sense.

Comment by andy@cynic

Excellent post Robert. Those 6 points are killer.

Comment by George

you really are pissed out your head arent you.

Comment by andy@cynic

I am dying.

#recruiters #HR

Comment by Power Balance

your problem is youre dealing with fucking recruiters and hr. thats not a good fucking strategy.

Comment by andy@cynic

you are right.

should I go to knock-knock the door as my 61 year old dad told me?

Comment by Power Balance

better than ring ringing the fucking phone of recruiters or hr fuckwits.

Comment by andy@cynic

7. They hail their proprietary methodology – their piece of resistance – and describe it in terms that make it sound like a magic box.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

2 fucking comments in 1 fucking week. fuck me fredrik, have you been sacked? good fucking point. i fucking used to love it when people told me what to do because their box of fucking dreams told them it was the only fucking way to get what they wanted, ignoring the fact its the same fucking pile of bollocks that put them in the shit in the first fucking place.

Comment by andy@cynic

Ahhhh, the good old proprietary tool … where the only ‘proprietary’ element is often the name and where the ‘process’ and ‘answer’ are always the same … making a mockery of personalised service and understanding.

PS: Hello.

Comment by Rob

a is not ‘not brand aware’ and b isn’t ‘brand aware’ either
Stop moaning about hangovers girls, be grateful you got a pass out
You wouldn’t believe the hoops i’m jumping through to actually be allowed to go out on Friday

Comment by northern

Jesus, she’s making you work hard to go out and do the weekly shopping at Asda? Mrs N is one tough cookie.

Comment by Rob

Get Mr Funny here.
As it happens, I enjoy taking Will shopping, despite the fact his groping hands have nearly got me done for both shoplifting and sexual harassment.

Comment by northern

like father like fucking son. youre teaching him well northern groper, you should be the super nanny not that matronly bitch with a face like its been repeatedly smashed with a fucking frying pan.

Comment by andy@cynic

you call me a fucking girl and then whine about having to jump through hoops to be allowed out for a fucking half shandy at the local fucking pub. if im a girl youre a fucking pigeon ferret twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

BUt when I get let out I take it like a man.
And I meant George anyway

Comment by northern

Please don’t drag me in to it.

Comment by George




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