The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


All I Want For Christmas …
December 19, 2011, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

… is a client brief like this.

Actually it isn’t, I’d much rather have something technological … but it still wouldn’t be too bad given so many briefs today are nothing more than ‘executional’ demands rather than a fundamental business challenge, where the solution is up to you.

Of course, given so many ad agencies think an ad can solve everything, it’s not hard to understand why so many clients basically decide what they want upfront, rather than trust their communication partners to come up with something all by themselves, but it’s still like going to the Doctor and then prescribing your own treatment.

Who knows, maybe everything will change for the better in 2012.

Maybe I’ll stop loving Queen, wearing shoes and be responsible.


55 Comments so far
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finally a post i like and from the deluded peter fucking pan no less.

Comment by andy@cynic

Are you confusing Mick Jagger with Cliff Richard?

Comment by Rob

youre a queen fan campbell so id keep your fucking gob shut.

Comment by andy@cynic

when are you breaking up for christmas? fucking soon i hope, i want to end the year on a zero blog post bollocks high.

Comment by andy@cynic

The doctor usually has more expertise than the patient – it’s not obvious that the agency has more business expertise than the client. It’s up to the agency to show that they do.

Comment by John

i think getting money from clients to do whatever the fuck they want to do is a sign of business brilliance. but thats just me.

Comment by andy@cynic

keefs brief would be a glass cover so he can chop up his fucking charlie easily.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s a pretty amazing brief to receive, but isn’t there something about limitations being one of the biggest triggers for creativity?

Comment by Rafik

Good point Rafik … but this is for Christmas, so ‘simple magic’ is the name of the game for this brief. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Wouldn’t a brief where you had to do nothing but still got paid be the best brief in the World?

Comment by DH

thats called planning.

Comment by andy@cynic

You set them up Dave, Andy will smash them in …

Comment by Rob

Whilst I obviously disagree, I like what Andy did there.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

fucking creep.

Comment by andy@cynic

I usually think when clients will understand why a complex society needs to be simple, now. I also think what will happen to them to get that answer. Wondering what brand will start to get that answer first.

#welcome2012

Comment by strategic gamble

when marketing fuckers and planning twats stop doing stuff they think makes them look clever.

Comment by andy@cynic

but saying that marketing and planning twats are looking clever is a perception is not a fact. I mean, I bet we are not going to be agree who is the best clever planner in ad. You are talking about ego (who has the biggest penis) my point is that there is going to be one brand who will really break the rules. Maybe I am too positive. However, I still think there is going to be one.

Comment by strategic gamble

its not fucking perception, its a fucking fact. not all of them maybe, but a fuckload of them. and there are brands that break the rules but the really fucking clever ones do it with their products not just their fucking ads.

Comment by andy@cynic

give me a fucking name.

Comment by strategic gamble

Hello Strategic Gamble … I know what you’re saying but I do have to agree with Andy’s [2nd] comment. Sure, not everyone is like this – but there’s way too much stuff done for the ego/intellectual fulfillment of clients/planners/agencies rather than what the audience will most positively react too.

In short, you’re both right. What a suit type of answer, ha!

Comment by Rob

I actually received a brief from Jagger. When we did the promo for Steel Wheels tour. There was a “Stones” target audience and brand character and everything. We were supposed to present the marketing plan to him in Mustique but the twat client suddenly decided he needed to get involved and boated the agency from the meeting. Twaaaaaat.

Comment by simon billing

who were the stones target audience? old fuckers in volvos who have their ear pierced and tap their fingers on the steering wheel and never, fucking ever indicate?

Comment by andy@cynic

I knew you were a fan Andy.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

i wouldnt buy a fucking volvo if it meant i had to live in my fucking canadian money pit for the rest of my fucking life. you, on the other hand, probably think its a national fucking heirloom.

Comment by andy@cynic

No Volvo but Viagra would have been there if it had been invented. No pierceings but “speedball” experience essential.

Comment by simon billing

so basically their target audience was conservative fucking mps.

Comment by andy@cynic

No Nazis was definitely a mandatory – so no, no Tory MPs

Comment by simon billing

so the liberal democrats. fucking figures.

Comment by andy@cynic

I have also received a brief from Mick Jagger. It appears he has got more particular with age.

Comment by Lee Hill

Is that when you signed them to get EMI to pay you more for Virgin Records because you knew they were a bunch of starfuckers and they’d probably forget the Stones have always been a big concert ticket seller rather than a big album seller?

Allegedly.

Comment by Rob

You want a creative brief for Christmas? Truly, a man who must have everything.
Now here’s the present you didn’t want. I’m extremely likely to be in either Singapore, Hong Kong or Shanghai in February.

Comment by northern

February you say? I’ll be washing my hair that month.

Comment by Rob

And yes, I know you’ll be doing the same …

Comment by Rob

I was talking to Freddie

Comment by northern

Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

Happy Christmas.

Comment by Marcus

And to you my lovely. And to you …

Comment by Rob

Sorry I’ve not hung around here more this year. It’s been a bit mental; brilliant but mental. Promise to annoy you all more next year.

Comment by Marcus

We are nothing without you.

Is that the right thing to say???

Comment by Rob

No.

Comment by Marcus

I do mean it though.

Comment by Rob

Or at least not as much fun without you … and with Andy’s impending fatherhood, we will need you to take up the slack because let’s face it, Billy’s attempt was bloody terrible.

Comment by Rob

ANDY IS GOING TO BE A DAD? Holy mother of God.

Comment by Marcus

Yes. How do you think the impending kid must feel!

Comment by Rob

and the mother of the baby isnt the mother of fucking god marcus. i dont need any divine fucking intervention to produce an heir to my fucking debts and alimony, my sperm is a weapon of mass fucking destruction with laser fucking targeting. unfuckingfortunately.

Comment by andy@cynic

fortunately. i meant fucking fortunately.

Comment by andy@cynic

Whoa… Andy as a Dad?
Maybe the Mayans were right after all?!

Comment by Age

Nice. Very nice Age.

Of course, being late to this well known fact means you are setting yourself for additional abuse. Oh well …

Comment by Rob

ha, I’d expect nothing less😉

Comment by Age

Isn’t it sad that I learned that fact from the X Files?

Comment by northern

Not to mention the Book of Revelations

Comment by northern

The bible as a whole.

Comment by Rob

whats that marcus? age?

confuckingratulations, im going to be the best fucking father in the whole fucking world? yes i fucking know am but i appreciate your kind bastard words.

pricks.

Comment by andy@cynic

in all honesty, congrats mate🙂

Comment by Age

send money. big money.

Comment by andy@cynic




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