The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Life Doesn’t Come With A Reset Button …
February 7, 2012, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

We all talk about living life without regret – and yet the reality is so many of the things we say we want to do, we put off because we keep thinking we can get to them ‘when we have more time’.

I understand that, it’s human nature … however given we actually never know when our time is up, all we are doing is creating a situation where we allow regret to blossom.

A while back a nurse wrote an article about her experiences looking after the dying.

After years of service, she had been able to compile what the ‘5 biggest regrets of people on their death-bed’ were …

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Now I don’t know whether this is a true reflection of what people really think in their dying days … but something tells me there’s a lot of truth in there.

The tragedy of life is that it appears we only see – or embrace – the things that are truly important, once we know the end is near.

OK, so not everyone is like that, but if you were to look at those 5 regrets right now, how many – being brutally truthful to yourself – could you say you are living without compromise.

Of course, it could be argued that life is one big compromise … and maybe that’s true … but if you were told you had a year left to live, how differently would you be living your life?

If you can say ‘not a lot’ … then I am envious of you.

The full article of the ‘5 biggest regrets’ can be read here.


30 Comments so far
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I’ll wish I could write a better comment. If only I had the time…

Comment by Alex Weltlinger (@alexweltlinger)

i wish i hadnt met you.

Comment by andy@cynic

so last week you were mr fucking planner with your posts and this week so far you are mr fucking oprah. dont worry campbell, im not going to be like auntie george and say i prefer one version of you over another, i hate both fucking equally.

Comment by andy@cynic

lets look at your life in relation to those 5 fucking wishes.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.

youre italian, so its biological that youre a fucking coward.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

you. work hard? you dont even fucking work.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

i think talking about your love for your best friends cock says you do express your feelings. we just wish you didnt and shut the fuck up.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

we dont. our problem is you dont leave us afuckinglone. even when we move to fucking vanfuckingcouver.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

you get paid fuckloads. work at w+k. somehow manage to do fuck all work. youre married to a babe and have a saint as your mum. you travel on freebies every fuckig 2 minutes. youre a property magnate and you know me. how much fucking happier could one person be. prick.

Comment by andy@cynic

With that level of insight you’re a better planner than many planners.

Comment by Rob

did these coffin owners voluntarily cough up this info or did nursey push them for it? the last fucking thing id want if i was in hospital is some nurse asking intimate fucking questions about my regrets so id throw the nosy bitch off the scent by lying.

maybe all the people that answered her did the same and the real answers are:

wish id fucked that horny little intern when i had the chance.
wish id bought a ferrari and left it parked outside my exes house.
wish id drunk more whiskey.
wish id told my family what a big waste of fucking space they all are.
wish id never heard of the word “planner”.

Comment by andy@cynic

As an outsider looking in, I thought you did live as if you only had a year left, it’s just that you’ve managed to stretch that out for at least 15 years.

Comment by DH

15 years? forty fucking one more like.

Comment by andy@cynic

good fucking point though.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’ve only known him 15 years so was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Stupid I know.

Comment by DH

you fucking said it.

and youre fucking right.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh my sides … my sides …

Comment by Rob

I’m interested Robert, has this post got anything to do with yesterday’s post? As for the 5 biggest regrets, I’m surprised no one specifically mentioned their family and children. My biggest fear is feeling I was not the best father and husband I could be.

Comment by George

good fucking point auntie. what sort of shit nurse got this information? shes probably not a nurse now. she probably heads up nielsen research or some other bollocks that keeps missing facts and the fucking point.

the good news for you george is you dont have to worry about failing as a dad or husband because the women in your house are quite fucking vocal about what they want and youre quite the fucking doormat. your biggest worry is about self respect but well keep that between us. for now. for cash.

Comment by andy@cynic

Here here George
And ignore the cynics rob I like this post very much. Thoughtful.
For record I’ll always regret finding what could have been as a swimmer a planner and an academic. Thank god for kids ,that’s one thing I get to do properly

Comment by Northern

maybe you should wait till they can properly fucking articulate what they think of your dad skills before getting too fucking comfortable with yourself groper. just saying.

and why not become a swimming planner academic, cant be many of those fuckers and instantly you can feel proud of yourself. i should charge for this fucking advice.

Comment by andy@cynic

read your comment on yesterdays post. if thats what a dad is supposed to be i can see why youre confident in your abilities and why im going to fucking rock it as a dad.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh I’m not confident not at all when I say properly I mean I can’t back out
Or play around at it it’s all or nothing
And i didn’t mean love their mum in a physical sense either

Comment by Northern

clarified like a true fucking planning dad.

Comment by andy@cynic

Good point George – and, sadly Andy – obviously this nurse was one of those who likes to play god with their patients and after getting them to rewrite their will in their favour, they bump them off and make up a statement about their regrets. Possibly.

Comment by Rob

Regret is good.
like anger and fear it gets a bad rep, because most fuckers wallow in it instead of turning it into something positive like revenge on who or whatever stopped you from acting or caused the above mentioned emotions…

Comment by niko

what the fuck has happened to you niko, youre in fucking danger of sounding like pete, just not as fucking nice. which is a compliment.

Comment by andy@cynic

Life is what passes you by while you’re trying to subsist.

Comment by John

My biggest regret is not leaving more comments on this blog.

Comment by Jason

I regret not being able to wake up early enough to be the first one to comment here and beat andy to it…
on a serious note i don’t have many regrets…
Rob, please take a bow, I loved the post – it is the kind of stuff that makes you think about important matters…
I like the Oprah in you…

Comment by swati

I’ve saw that article last week as it caused quite a little stir here in Germany. Something bothered me about it, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why but I’ve just realised why: regret is quite a selfish thing isn’t it?

Comment by Marcus

I saw that article last week, as it caused quite a little stir here in Germany. Something bothered me about it, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why but I’ve just realised why: regret is quite a selfish thing isn’t it?

(sorry, “I’ve saw” was too bad – even by my standards).

Comment by Marcus

Jesus, that is super bad … but the point you make is interesting. I guess regret is quite selfish – I hadn’t looked at it that way – but at the end of the day, given many of the regrets we have are mainly caused by ourselves, I guess you’re right.

But what is regret? Is it a missed opportunity or is it a lost opportunity or both. On face value they seem very similar, but a ‘missed opportunity’ implies it’s something you could have ‘done’ but – for whatever reason – chose not to whereas a ‘lost opportunity’ is something you wanted to do, but maybe never had the chance to make it happen. Or worse, were too scared to try and make it happen.

Regret is quite selfish but then maybe the things people regret would be even more selfish if they’d actually done them.

Have you seen this?

Someone saying we should not regret the feeling of regret …

Comment by Rob

Tattoo apologist.

Comment by John

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