The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Closed For Jetlag.
March 23, 2012, 6:00 am
Filed under: Comment

Yeah, laugh it up you bastards, but if you were flying long distance with United, you’d know exactly what I mean.

See you Monday, no doubt with a wide range of very ranty posts thanks to 19 hours spent in the company of United Airlines unique take on ‘customer service’.


18 Comments so far
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Don’t know why that “help” bubble is coming from the back of the plane. Even if WK flew you economy you have more points than Clooney’s character in “up in the air” so could upgrade yourself to royalty class for the next 100 years.

Comment by DH

All that and he doesn’t drink any of the free piss, just diet coke, ice and no lemon. I swear he does that just to piss me off. It works.

Comment by Billy Whizz

he gets points on all his freebie fucking flights. he makes goldman sachs looking fucking respectable.

Comment by andy@cynic

Truth in black and white.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Jealousy is so ugly Dave.

Comment by Rob

giving you a fucking shit time is the only fucking positive thing ive ever felt about united. whats the fucking betting youll be whining to lee and stevie about putting on a va flight to fucking atlanta? as predictable as an american fucking idol winner.

Comment by andy@cynic

This should be united’s new ad campaign.

Comment by Billy Whizz

That is a very, very good idea Andy.

Comment by Rob

Still awaiting your call Robert. Not with baited breath I should add.

Comment by Lee Hill

I keep calling but for some reason it keeps going to your voicemail Lee.

Comment by Rob

Are you really expecting sympathy Mr Business class?

I quite like BA by the way, they upgraded be to First Class last year, obviously having mistaken me for someone else.

Amidst the high powered businessmen and spoiled trust fund types, there was me, tatty t-shirt, faded jeans, drinking masses of Pauillac and eating absolutuly everything on the menu. I’m Northern and by jingo I got my value out of them.

Comment by northern

I know … I know … but maybe when you read the post I’m writing, you’ll have a modicum of sympathy. Just a modicum because apart from flying in the World’s oldest plane with the World’s shittest service and comfort, I was asked by a hostess for proof that I was supposed to be sitting in business class because obviously birkenstocks, shitty jeans, a crap t-shirt and some tattoos don’t fit in with the usual image of a blue business shirt, tan slacks and some clumpy shoes.

Comment by Rob

And out of interest, was your food on BA better than my food on BA? http://tinyurl.com/7nluyrt

Comment by Rob

You know what, it was. Despite being Northern I’m quite fussy and not a little pretensious about food, and I got:
An accurately cooked medium rare fillet steak that was a joy and I still haven’t had as good since – and believe me, I’ve burned considerable expenses and personal money to try
They even served tea well.
They also didn’t bat an eyelid at a sweaty, cumpled hungover, muppet in sandals and ironic t-shirt, fresh from the Singapore steam bath and slighty glassy eyed from free First Class Lounge Bombay Saphire

Comment by northern

They were probably worried you were one of those limey hooligans and thought they had to keep you sweet.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Or thought you’d crank up the youporn at 30,000 feet and wanted to keep your hands busy with knives and forks, not under the blanket.

Comment by Billy Whizz

I hope your post about hating United includes a song. They need an updated one. United hates hippies perhaps?

Comment by ifjq224

i thought id end my week woth a little glance at this shithole and what do i find? absofuckinglutely nothing. as usual.

campbell a hippy? just because the soft twat wears ugly lesbian birkenstocks doesnt make him a hippy, it makes him a sad twat.

and united are equal opportunity cocksuckers so campbell isnt special, hes just another victim in their war against passengers. only time ive ever felt sorry for him and that passed within seconds.

Comment by andy@cynic




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