The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Where Has The Common Sense Gone?
July 17, 2012, 6:20 am
Filed under: Crap Campaigns In History

Imagine you’re a hotel company.

Imagine you’re a hotel company that wants to build a reputation for friendly and helpful service.

Imagine you’re a hotel company that wants to build a reputation for friendly and helpful service to encourage possible franchisees.

What would your ad look like?

Would it feature a photo of happy, smiley people?

Would it have some nice headline that represents ‘good service’?

Or would it look anything like this?

WHAT THE FUCK!??

Apart from the fact the politically correct, ethnically diverse faces are bunched together, looking down like they’re some gang about to kick the living shit out of you – they’ve “invented” a phrase that is literally one of the shittest things I’ve ever seen.

‘Feel The Hamptonality’

Give me strength.

Clients love the idea of creating a term or a word that becomes part of the venacular and it’s almost always:

1. Shit.
2. A disaster.
3. A demonstration of corporate ego.

On the rare occasion it does happen, it’s happened organically rather than intentionally and it’s almost never included a made up word or term.

So to the people behind the ad above, you might want me to “feel the Hamptonality” but I’d rather be locked away in a maximum security prison.

Same thing, probably.

There is some irony about me writing a post on hotel standards given I’m about to fly to Mongolia and stay in a hotel that probably has a tagline of ‘feel the horror’ … but hey, I’m from Nottingham which means I’m automatically tough.

Ahem.

What this all means is you get another week off from my rambling shit – though it could be even longer if I find that I’m staying in Mongolia’s very first Hampton Hotel and their staff beat the shit out of me for dissing their employer in this post.

Guess we’ll see within the week.

Ta-ra.


49 Comments so far
Leave a comment

well if any fucker knows about hotels, i guess the prick who blags others to fucking pay for his 5 star luxury life should bastard know best.

Comment by andy@cynic

thats you im fucking talking about campbell in case your tiny fucking planning brain hadnt worked it out.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes, even I worked that out.

Comment by Rob

only with fucking help.

Comment by andy@cynic

dont know why youre making a big deal about going to fucking mongolia, its still going to be more fucking advanced than nottingham.

Comment by andy@cynic

and knowing how fucking jammy you are, youll somehow wangle the fucking presidential suite full of the fucking luxury my exwive parasites can only dream about.

Comment by andy@cynic

Maximum Campbellosity.

Comment by John

that is offensive to me in every fucking way.

Comment by andy@cynic

If I’m ccorrect in assuming this is a recrutiment ad, then I imagine the smiling faces looking down on you might be a feature of induction week. Though if it is a recruitment ad, the invitation to feel the hamptonality (rather than provide it) makes even less sense.

Comment by John

does it remind you of your school days doddsy? or maybe your prison days where you were known as mrs doddsy to bubba, the big bastard boss of block k inmates?

Comment by andy@cynic

The Offiial Mongolian Tourist site list seven categories of things to do.

Horse and Camel Riding
Walking and Hiking
Wildlife and Bird Watching
Sport and Adventuring
Shopping
Dining
Sightseeing

Can we assume that you’ll only be doing the last three and alling them ethnography as per usual?

Comment by John

unless mongolia has some fucking robots, it goes down to just 2 activities out of the 7.

Comment by andy@cynic

I love that you looked that up John. Loved in the sense it highlights how bored you must be right now! For the record, I’ve been there before so I guess by your criteria, that would leave me with just 1 activity out of the 7 to do.

Comment by Rob

Hampton hotels are owned by Hilton hotels so the service levels must be great because I’ve heard they let any stranger spend one night in Paris for absolutely no cost at all.

Comment by DH

fucking hell thats shit. thats worse than a jim davidson “joke” circa 1974.

Comment by andy@cynic

It wasn’t a joke, it was a fact.

Comment by DH

I used to know a guy called Hampton who used to try and get girls to give him a handjob by saying “feel the hamptonality”.

True story.

Comment by Billy Whizz

He was a wanker as well. Physically and metaphorically.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Look at me using big words.

Comment by Billy Whizz

you mean “wanker”? yes, impressive, i thought your record was a maximum of 4 letter words.

Comment by andy@cynic

Ha ha. it’s a bit like Pizza ‘Hutspitality’ courtesy of W+K London a few years ago….

Comment by Simon

is that a fucking joke? for dan wiedens fucking heart tell me thats a fucking joke. no man can stand having an agency that makes shit pun pizza ads and has campbell as an employee.

Comment by andy@cynic

“Our first commercial for Pizza Hut launches the idea of ‘Hutspitality’ – the feeling you get from Pizza Hut.The ‘hut’ represents a combination of warmth, food and atmosphere found in Pizza Hut mixed with a bit of individual hut character and identity. Pizza huts create – an informal yet special feeling which encourages people to chat, share their food and have a good time together. The brand idea which defines this strategy is summed up as ‘Pizza Hutspitality’. “

Comment by John

not exactly just fucking do it is it.

Comment by andy@cynic

More like just spew it.

Comment by DH

what the fuck is going on with you today dave? auditioning for a saturday night live gig or just being a sad twat?

Comment by andy@cynic

There’s a difference?

Comment by Bazza

That must have been for their extra cheesy range of pizzas.

Comment by DH

pot. kettle. black.

Comment by andy@cynic

Jeez … that’s bad for FCB, let alone W+K.

Comment by Rob

ive just realised youre having another fucking freebie holiday. just after you had one to fucking thailand just last bastard week. i know its fucking mongolia but do you ever do any fucking bastard work?

how the fuck do you pull it off? how? no one can have that much blackmail shit on people unless you are a government fucking spy. mind you, no one would suspect some bald planning twat from nottingham who loves queen and wears shit shoes to be a threat to anything so it just might be the most genius move ever fucking made.

kills the james fucking bond franchise dead though doesnt it.

Comment by andy@cynic

Well I did write about how much I liked that MI5 ad earlier in the year didn’t I!?

Comment by Rob

explains why theres a fucking olympic security scandal going on.

Comment by andy@cynic

You have got it wrong, the photo in the ad represents how the residents of the Hamptons view outsiders. Except they would never allow none whites to be residents there so there’s a major flaw in their attempt to associate the hotel with the elitist residential area of the same name.

Comment by Bazza

Bazza goes Ben Elton. Or should I say Ben Elton when he was mildly political, not a Queen musical writing, mainstream sitcom consultant.

Comment by Rob

cock.

Comment by andy@cynic

A case of internal branding which doesn’t work externally: http://youtu.be/ITZ-ehMJfcE via http://juliacarcamo.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/feel-the-hamptonality/

Comment by CarolWeinfeld

can’t decide if I should feel sorry for the poor copywriter, who probably went through five rounds of headlines to end up with “joint the team”, and the poor art director, who must been pastel-colour-blinded by now. or if I should hate them for being sadistic motherfuckers.

Comment by seb

sebs back. some woman called christina cruz has started making comments. another person called sarah has appeared and shes not petes wife. and where the fuck is the author of this shit blog? in mongolias only 5 star resort sipping tea and acting like a colonial twat. probably.

the worlds fucking lost it. were all going to fucking die and its all campbells fault as per fucking usual.

Comment by andy@cynic

mind you, laurens still hiding and northern groper has decided to go into witness fucking protection so maybe its all just a blip in the fucking universe and you can stop saying your goodfuckingbyes.

Comment by andy@cynic

andy, actually I am just here for you.
and your fucks.

Comment by seb

Even WK is prone to mangling language with brand names. Hondamentalism wasn’t too bad, but I still cringe at ‘Hutspitality’

Comment by northern

I have a sneaking suspicion they were mandated to do it in the knowledge it would offend me so much that I might resign over it. Maybe one day in the past I would have been so petulant, but not now – oh no – I am made of sterner stuff … which is basically the fear of my bank manager calling.

Comment by Rob

Oh, they were before you joined, I presumed your influence had put a stop to such nonsense

Comment by northern

influence? campbell? hahahahahahahahahaha. hahaha. hahahahaha. ha.

hahahahaha.

ha.

Comment by andy@cynic

why are more people coming on this blog? its those fuckers at business insiders fault isnt it. they should be fucking arrested for causing a fucking disturbance in peoples fucking lives.

Comment by andy@cynic

All the more people to viciously insult Andy!🙂

Comment by Rob Mortimer (Not a fake Andy)

“insult, Andy” … ahem.

Comment by Rob Mortimer (Not a fake Andy)

insult me? commenting on this shithole insults themselves far fucking more than they could ever fucking insult me.

Comment by andy@cynic




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