The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


My Metamorphosis Into Grumpy, Rambling, Old Man Is Nearly Complete …
September 4, 2012, 6:17 am
Filed under: Comment

So remember a few weeks ago, the lovely Heather Lefevre came to hang out at the office for a few weeks?

I can only assume that because I got her to do all manner of “interesting” things in her time here, she decided to get her own back by asking me to answer some questions. On video!

Not only do I have a face for radio and ramble on incoherently for bloody ages [she only asked me 3 questions and I talked for over 8 minutes!] … she also managed to make me sound a lecherous old bastard at 1 minute 59″.

Genius character assassination, especially as I do it all by myself.

Anyway, if you want to see a video that makes the combined horror of The Ring, The Shining, 28 Days Later and Poltergeist look like an episode of Seasame Street, then just click on the clip below.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


41 Comments so far
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where the fuck is mary whitehouse or tipper fucking gore when you need them.

and i havent even fucking watched it yet. im too fucking worried it will be like the ring and make me want to kill myself after fucking viewing. or at least stick knives in my fucking eyes.

Comment by andy@cynic

why the fuck does the youtube clip say “episode 7”? dont tell me theres another 6 videos of you talking shit somewhere? fuck me campbell, i know you can talk but that is fucking ridiculous. and scary as shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s the Jersey Shore of advertising, just with nothing interesting going on in it. So exactly like Jersey Shore.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Don’t fret … I’m only on it once, it’s episode 7 of Heather’s interviews as part of her book project.

Or at least I hope it is!

Comment by Rob

Fuck me. Make it stop.

And why do you sound so posh? If you weren’t wearing one of your usual childish shirts, I’d think you hired someone else to make this. Especially as you come across quite well, except for the sexual proposition at 2 mins.

And your tattoos are huge. Poor Jill.

Comment by DH

he does. why the fuck does he sound posh?

its not the worst thing ive ever heard him say, but then thats because ive known the fucker for 20 years.

by the way campbell, the “brain in the heart” thing is almost nice. then i read your blog bollocks and remember its more like your brain in your fucking j lo arse.

going to spend the next 10 hours trying to brainwash my beautiful daughter into thinking planners are worse than the taliban.

Comment by andy@cynic

Your ink is the first interesting thing you’ve ever done Rob. Shame it’s ruined by your car sized watch. You’re about as street as Liza Minelli.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Yeah, sorry Billy – I forgot you were really the 50 Cent of whatever it is you do, as opposed to the upper-middle class kid you grew up as. My bad. Sorry.

Comment by Rob

Posh? Me? You’ve been in America too long and fallen for the old “all English accents are posh accents” trick.

Comment by Rob

The wearing of the fuelband is deeply ironic.

Comment by John

not as ironic as being fucking interviewed about what he does for a job and never once mentioning “getting free trips around the world for no fucking apparent reason whatsofuckingever.”

Comment by andy@cynic

Not to mention getting Heather to believe that it was his choice not to socialise with colleagues.

Comment by John

evil. but fair.

Comment by andy@cynic

you could be a conservative politician with that fucking proposition at 2 mins campbell. actually you couldnt, theyre a least subtle when theyre being making propositions or so the news of the screws used to tell me. rip gutter journalism.

Comment by andy@cynic

Your harassment of interns is exactly what I’m looking for in my government, would you like to join us and work under the tutorage of William Clinton?

Comment by Mitt Romney

I know you wouldn’t expect Clinton to work for me but why let that ruin a good joke.

Comment by Mitt Romney

youre the fucking joke romney. and so are you dave because no other fucker would come up with such a shit joke on here. even billy.

Comment by andy@cynic

You should be in CSI.

Comment by DH

No he shouldn’t Dave, but you should be locked in prison with rubbish like that. Jim Davidson, circa 1984.

Comment by Rob

The faux pas at 2 minutes aside, this is great. You have such a wonderful enthusiasm in your conversation and use delightful analogies to explain your point. Maybe I have acquired some of your sentimentalism, but watching this made me long for the times when we worked together. Don’t be alarmed, I’ll soon get over it.

Comment by George

Thank god, for all our sakes – especially our wives.

Comment by Rob

And what is this “cumulative building” of which you speak? Sounds pretty linear to me. Not pre-destined, but sequential all the same.

Comment by John

dont ruin all your hard insulting by coming over as a cock doddsy. you hit gold with the fuel band comment, dont fuck it up like halle berrys movie choices after winning the oscar. ill send my invoice for this advice today.

Comment by andy@cynic

Fair point.

Comment by John

Doddsys a troll.

Comment by Billy Whizz

At least I’m not troll-sized.

Comment by John

You look and sound in fine form Robert. I particularly liked the passionate finger pointing as you explain the need to put people first. Excellent stuff.

Comment by Lee Hill

Yes, I just saw that – I’ve basically become a cross between Walter Matthau and Mussolini. Not a great combination by anyones book.

Comment by Rob

I enjoyed this Rob. It’s great to see your infectious passion is still there. Love the “brain in the heart” comment.

Comment by Bazza

I agree with Lee, the finger pointing rant near the end of the interview made it for me.

Comment by Pete

the camera angle is very flattering… hahahaha!
i am sorry, but this video is hilarious. you made my week.
also, could you please, for my joy elaborate on the ‘uncomfortable positions’?

Comment by swati

on second thought i don’t want to know…

Comment by swati

Thanks for making me sound a complete sleaze pervert. Very kind of you Swati. ha.

Comment by Rob

New drinking game… down a shot every time Rob says “I think”.

Morning.

Comment by Marcus

You’ll drink less compared to the number of times I say Queen. Or Birkenstocks.

Comment by Rob

You really do sound posh, but I live in Leeds so my frame of reference doesn’t give me much scope for judging.
Shame we couldn’t see Heather.

Comment by northern

I. AM. NOT. POSH.

Though I did once pretend to be a Lord so I could get a table at Raffles in Singapore when they told me it was fully booked.

Yes it worked. Yes I got funny looks when I turned up looking like a terrorist in birkenstocks.

Comment by Rob

And Heather’s too smart to be seen on film with me.

Comment by Rob

If I remember correctly, that young lady wasn’t always so cautious about being caught on film.

Comment by Marcus

uncomfortable positions?

Comment by andy@cynic

That last few minutes is outstanding, very inspiring.
I’d buy a “We’re not fucking robots” t-shirt.

Comment by Rob Mortimer




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