The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Proof, New Year Wishes Are Complete Bollocks …
January 7, 2013, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

Hello folks!

I know we’re already into Jan now, but I hope you had a good Christmas and 2013 is already shaping up to be something special.

Of course, re-starting this blog means you might now be filled with doubt, but let’s ignore that for now.

One of the things I love about Christmas is seeing all the tat companies put out, knowing people’s judgement and taste goes out the window and they might make a few extra quid.

That said, I saw something recently that would not just be a lack of taste or judgement, but a definitive signal the person getting it, is a grade-A dick.

Yes, GRADE-A.

“What is it?” I hear you cry?

This …

An Aston Martin iPad case.

A FUCKING ASTON MARTIN IPAD CASE!!!

What the hell?

Even if you drive an Aston Martin this is stupid, but if you actually own a 1987 Ford Granada, this is utterly, utterly sad.

Not only that, but once the iPad is slipped in the case, you can’t even see that it is an Aston Martin thing … that is unless the back of the case has the emblem embossed on it, which basically conveys one of the following messages:

1. Mug me.

2. I am a mental.

3. I am stupid.

4. My friends & family think I’m a dick.

5. I am happy to be seen out in public with this, so I am a dick.

Seriously, if someone bought this for me then I would assume they either hate me or just enjoy taking the piss … and my revenge would be that they had spent 108 QUID on something I will never, ever, ever use.

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT QUID.

And that doesn’t even include VAT.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Now I know some branding expert would say this sort of product allows people to feel ‘part of the Aston Martin legacy’ for a fraction of the price of the ‘real deal’ … but it doesn’t really, it simply allows people to show how empty their lives are to the wider public.

It’s like those dicks that have ‘Porsche’ key rings and leave them on the pub bar, even though they drive a Mark I Ford Fiesta with go-faster stripes.

Seriously, who are they trying to fool?

Is it some gullible bimbo/ken doll or just themselves?

I would absolutely love to know how many of these they sold, even though the results might actually end up making me despair for humanities future.

While I’m all for brands finding ways to diversify their offering – both for increasing the audience pool/loyalty and revenue growth – it’s important to remember there are times when what you don’t do say’s more about you, than what you do.


36 Comments so far
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Welcome back Rob and happy 2013. It seems the rest, refreshed your levels of angst. That is excellent news, at least for the people who read this blog, not so much the people who appear in it.

The desire for brands to make themselves more accessible to drive short term profits might sound good on paper, but if done badly or without regard for what they supposedly stand for, it can open the door to potentially longer term issues and implications.

It’s a fine line and some do it well but some brands success is maintained by not being accessible, which looks a really strange thing to say when it’s written down.

Good to have you back and I agree, that ipad case is hideous both in looks and price.

Comment by Pete

seems your new years resolution was to continue being campbells fucking creep. how many times do i have to tell you pete, the fucker doesnt give you payrises anymore, you can slag him off like the rest of us, its ok.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’re right, some brands do it well, and some brands get away with it, even when they do it badly [Ferrari?] … but maybe the reason it is happening so much is that the average marketing director only lasts 2 years so the person responsible for that decision doesn’t care because all they’re focused on is getting their tenure associated with increased profits, not longer-term brand value deterioration. Maybe.

Comment by Rob

I always feel that the reason brands like Ferrari pull it off is because the people who buy the cars do not think that they have an eloquent taste. Same goes for the people who buy the branded coffeecup, notebook or hassleblad photocamera (which is still about 16.000 quid). Neither do others in general consider people who really like Ferarris to have an eloquent taste. They just consider them to like fast cars at best but most probably to have no taste.
While the brands that do not pull this off, like Aston or jaguar, have people who like the cars and buy the cars that do consider themselves to have an eloquent taste and would therefore never buy branded stuff like the iPad sleeve.

I guess it is a bit like music taste and which bands you do like or do not like.

Comment by Paul

And suddenly the World turned a little darker today.

Comment by DH

Compared to how Sony Pictures have whored 007’s name, this aston martin rubbish is class. Seriously, who would want to own a 007 branded Sony mobile?

OK, let me rephrase that.

What normal adult would want to be seen using a 007 branded mobile phone? If it had a stun laser maybe. If all it has is a bad 007 decal, not so many. Bit like the U2 ipod eh, Bazza?

Comment by DH

even campbell wouldnt and thats saying something. you wouldnt would you campbell? oh fuck, you would, wouldnt you.

Comment by andy@cynic

No I wouldn’t. Even I’m not that bad. Well, not unless it was really, really good.

Comment by Rob

Since Apple only sell a single range of iPads, there is no way for rich bell-ends to exercise conspicuous consumption by buying a “top-of-the-range” iPad, so they need to bling it up with this kind of tat. My only complaint is that if it is supposed to be about conspicuous consumption, I’d be gouging the pretentious wankers for more than 108 quid.

PS, I grew up in a rough neighbourhood, and any time I see someone flashing their $1000 iPad/iPhone in the street, your option 1, “Mug Me” is my first thought that has to be resisted.

Comment by Shackleford Hurtmore

http://www.goldgenie.com/

Comment by DH

Isn’t it the people who don’t really have a lot of money who are desperately keen to show the World they have expensive brands? Except for footballers, reality “stars” and trust fund babies who think Versaci zebra stripes as a car interior is sophisticated and subtle.

Comment by Pete

Rob once told me the truly wealthy were ditching their black amex cards and returning to the plain old green because they liked that it showed retailers they could afford to buy big ticket items on a card that demanded full payment within 60 days. That was a long time ago though.

Comment by Pete

That was a long time ago, what a memory you have.

Comment by Rob

this says more about you shackeford than any other fucker on here.

Comment by andy@cynic

Fair point Shackleford … especially as I got told by an interior designer years ago that as IKEA had made it possible for anyone to have a fairly presentable home, the super-rich were demanding ever-more extravagant [read: revolting] interiors to ensure they maintained their distance between the masses.

That said, Apple does have a fairly unique position to be a brand leader and yet still ‘aspirational’ … hence my ultra-planner-wank-term of massperational.

Sorry, even I feel bad about that.

Comment by Rob

twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

So those mayans were right, the end of the World did happen. Happy 2013 Rob, but now you’ve started this blog again, I don’t know what there is to be happy about.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Why would anyone want to hide the sleek lines of the iPad in a bulky, alternatively branded, leather case? Defies belief.

Welcome back Robert, it has been too quiet without you.

Comment by Bazza

you toady fuck. why havent you answered petes comment about your fucked up u2 ipod? i know why, because theres no fucking defense against that pile of shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

so youve decided to grace us with your fucking presence again have you campbell? oh how exciting. whats 2013 got in store for us, more posts about undeserved holidays, money, property, tech and happiness?

at least you started off with a bit of a fucking rant about a bit of a fucking moment of sad bastard madness. it wont last, but it makes me feel a little less shit that im back in this hell hole.

Comment by andy@cynic

Maybe I shouldn’t bother writing anything else and just ask you to go to the corresponding date of last year.

Comment by Rob

Judging by the comments, it appears 2013 looks extraordinarily like 2012. Welcome back Robert and happy new year to everyone else.

Comment by George

I can bet 108 Quid, that they will soon give those covers for free to any person coming into their store along with a catalogue, as this is freaking crazy indeed. OR, they might use them in a stupid contest on sina weibo, where 99.9% of the people who will participate just don’t give a damn about the brand but will sell it on taobao…Welcome back to reality!

Comment by cyrilbedat

I’m not going to take that bet because I think you’re right.

As for Taobao, they’re probably only £5 there.

Comment by Rob

Happy New Year Rob. 2013 is going to be a cracker. Lot’s of good vibrations around at the moment if we take care of our planet, take care of ourselves and take care of others.🙂

Comment by Charles Frith

We’re doomed then Charles … but happy new year to you, I’m so glad you are starting to pop back.

Comment by Rob

you know were fucking doomed when charlie boy comes back to this shithole and hes spouting positivity. what fucking next, doddsy being witty and billy getting a girlfriend he doesnt have to pay by the hour or blow up?

Comment by andy@cynic

Happy new year everyone.

Comment by Marcus

Happy New Year.
But not for Rob. Heaven Knows He’s Miserable Now

Comment by northern

I know what you did there. Worse, I know why.

Comment by Rob

Poor love.

Comment by Marcus

Evil.

Comment by Marcus

You don’t know the half of it

Comment by northern

this sounds like the sort of conspiracy theory id love to hear before remembering it involves a planner called campbell so it would be about as much fun as chewing the shit out of cliff richards colostomy bag.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh no, this is pure gold, it’s actually the equivalent of you being forced to spend a couple of hours talking to John Steel about planning.
Or with any of the ex-wives talking about money

Comment by northern

sounds fucking horrific, but if its happening to campbell, it sounds excellent.

Comment by andy@cynic




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