The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Happy Halloween …
October 31, 2013, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

Halloween is supposed to be scary.

This new fangled trend of treating it as an excuse to dress up in anything that takes your fancy is, in my book, both wrong and disrespectful to ghosts, witches and Conservative ministers.

So to try and bring things back on track, I have made a horror movie for your watching pleasure.

I call it ‘The Campbell Witch Project’ and I guarantee it will scare you shitless, but sadly for completely different reasons than I intended.


PS: Oscar nominations will be gratefully – if unlikely – received.

PPS: Keanu, if you’re interested, I do give acting tips. Call me.

26 Comments so far
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what. the. fuck. were. you. thinking.

Comment by andy@cynic

youre right, the fucking thing scared the shit out of me for very different reasons than you planned. but its absofuckinglutely the scariest shit ive ever seen.

Comment by andy@cynic

by the way, the spooky noises you hear in the video is the last remnants of your career flushing themselves down the toilet. and if you listen carefully, you can hear the faint, repeated thud of dan smashing his head on his desk.

Comment by andy@cynic

My eyes. My eyes.

Comment by DH

The house is empty because Jill finally came to her senses and the lights are flashing because they’re connected to some overpriced gadget that you bought in Singapore.

Comment by John

fucking gold doddsy. and likely to be true.

Comment by andy@cynic

“Makes Michael Bay look restrianed. And talented.” – Nottingham Echo

Comment by John

its still better scripted, acted and produced than the average fcb ad. its got that going for it. maybe. and do my fucking eyes deceive me or is the “monster” at the end (which looks fucking better than the gargoyle that shows its reflection in the mirror earlier on in the video nasty) wearing glasses?

you made a “film” about a short sighted whateverthefuckitssupposedtobe monster?

suddenly its become a comedy with sickness baked in. fucking incredible.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by George

That first w is superfluous.

Comment by John

I keep watching it over and over again. I’m not sure why and I don’t know if I can ever stop. I’m transfixed by it. It’s my worst nightmare come true. It’s horribly magnetic. Why did you do it Rob. Why?

Comment by DH

because hes a twat and youre a weak willed flower.

Comment by andy@cynic

Planners of the world. Do you really think it’s a good idea to take the advice of a man that does this?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Bang goes all the free holiday, I mean conferences you get invited to Rob. You didn’t plan this idea through properly did you Rob. You definitely didn’t do any planning in the execution.

Comment by Billy Whizz

even if the fucker was thrown off the fucking conference circuit gravy train (which the jammy fucker wont be because hes still on it despite all the fucked up shit hes done in the past) hed probably get invited to be a special guest member of the shit art house indie cinema circuit and get even better fucking trips. he made a deal with the devil, its the only possible reason.

Comment by andy@cynic

He’s the 1% of the 1%

Comment by Billy Whizz

I believe this sort of material was once referred to as a video nasty. A description that still seems very appropriate in this modern day and age. Amusing and petrifying in equal measure. Congratulations Robert.

Comment by Lee Hill

I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry.

Comment by Bazza

Oh I think you do know Baz.

Comment by Rob

It gets worse, Look how I came to work today.

Witches don’t ride brooms anymore, they ride mid-life-crisis bikes.

Comment by Rob

No, I don’t know what’s got into me either.

Comment by Rob

too many fucking strepsils by the looks of it.

Comment by andy@cynic

For someone who owns a recording studio, the sound quality is rubbish.

Comment by Wayne Green

He likes Queen. That should explain everything.

Comment by DH

I now understand why you’re not in the creative department

Comment by northern

i thought all you planner fuckers claimed to be creative. 10/10 for honesty. 1/10 for loyalty.

Comment by andy@cynic

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