The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


I Thought They Were Called Def Leppard, Not Dumb Leppard …
April 10, 2014, 6:20 am
Filed under: Comment

Def Leppard.

What a band.

They play rock music.

They come from the North of England.

They have a one-armed drummer.

Seriously, what’s not to love.

And I love them.

I love them enough to have spent 24 hours sleeping rough just because there was a rumour they were going to make a ‘guest appearance’ at a charity concert and I wanted to be at the front of the stage so I could marvel at their rock noodling majesty.

Except the rumour was bollocks and I was subjected to ‘surprise perfotrmances’ by Heaven 17 and Five Star instead.

For people who don’t know who those 2 bands are, that is the equivalent of being told you are going to spend the night with one of Hollywood’s most famous, beautiful women only to find out they’re talking about Lassie the bloody dog.

But even though they unwittingly caused me to have the worst 3 hours of my life – eased by the fact I got off with Jenny Powell’s cousin [possibly histories worst ever kiss and tell] – I forgave them.

To be honest, I have forgiven them for a lot.

For taking 4 years to launch an album.

For playing with Taylor Swift [even if it was quite amusing]

For not recording with Mutt Lange any more.

But there’s one thing I can’t forgive them for and it’s this …

No, I don’t mean the Slang album – I quite like that – I mean the bit that says, ‘Available Everywhere Now’ only to say ‘Click Here For Retailers’.

I know it’s a pathetically small thing, but if something is available everywhere then you shouldn’t need to click for retailers because it should be at every retailer.

It’s this sort of stuff that does my head in.

Maybe it’s just a momentary lack of attention to detail.

Maybe it’s a tension between ego and honesty.

But regardless what it is, it’s sloppy and another reminder that for all the talk of ‘big ideas’, it’s often the little things that leave the most lasting, positive impression on your audience.


37 Comments so far
Leave a comment

my fucking head is going to explode. tone def leppard. black widow taylor swift and the fucking cousin of jenny fucking powell. then you throw in 5 star and heaven fucking 17 to finish me off because you know ill spend the night thinking why 80s bands has such shit names with numbers in them. this is too fucking much for anyone to fucking comprehend. youve broken me campbell. youve won. bastardo.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’d give Taylor one. And it would be the best one of her life.

Comment by Billy Whizz

from what ive heard, you mean the best one second of her life. only thing youve ever fucking done thats quick.

Comment by andy@cynic

Gold.

Comment by DH

A result is a result.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Nail her Swift

Comment by northern

Yes, you didn’t know that one did you. I’ve been saving it just for this moment … 26 years after the event, just so I could shock someone I didn’t know existed at the time.

#jobdone

Comment by Rob

twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

Tell me this woman’s cousin was 90 and adopted from the freak farm.

Comment by Billy Whizz

So you’re asking if he got off with one of your girlfriends before they were your girlfriend? Sloppy seconds.

Comment by DH

Says the man who has a long term relationship with a packet of doritos.

Comment by Billy Whizz

My worst dorito is better than your best one night relationship.

Comment by DH

The race to the bottom.

Comment by Bazza

Def leppard is the perfect band for deaf Rob. I’m waiting for the post declaring your love for 1D, it can only be a matter of time.

Comment by DH

The fact you use the 1D acronym means you should be more frightened about it than me.

Comment by Rob

All I can say is this weeks posts are nothing like last weeks posts.

Comment by George

Strange given his espousal of consistent tone of voice.

Comment by John

You mean it’s better? Thanks.

Comment by Rob

I have 2 questions.

1) did Ms Powell’s cousin look anything like Ms Powell?

2) how? (though I’d ask her “why?”)

Comment by Bazza

3) Female cousin?

Comment by John

Hahahaha … bastard.

Comment by Rob

Well, a young version of her. And I can only assume she was as bored as me and desperate to be shocked back into life. Or something.

Comment by Rob

So she was blind.

Comment by DH

Only you could somehow link Def Leppard to why brands need to pay attention to the details. That is more impressive than your kiss and tell with the cousin of someone I’ve never heard of. Well done Rob.

Comment by Pete

I was listening to their song ‘Women’ when I read your post. I love them too.

Comment by febijefwhispers

Let’s hope it doesn’t go straight to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’ after that then …

Comment by Rob

Wait, you’d swap a night with Lassie for a night with a beautiful Hollywood star? Don’t knock Lassie, at least she has a brain😉

Comment by duchessdulciloquy

I wouldn’t stand a chance with a Hollywood beauty if she had a brain. But thanks duchessdulicloquy.

Comment by Rob

It’s a paradox anyway, so we don’t have to fret🙂

Comment by duchessdulciloquy

Oh I like this. Pour Some Sugar On Me was the soundtrack to the best summer of my teens (training camp in Chicago)
And Jenny Powell, ah Jenny Powell, you can even forgive her for doing Wheel of Fortune.
However, I’m not going to take any grief for people taking claims about past female encounters out of context and calling me Northern Groper.
Not now we have the Robsputin

Comment by northern

More like the Robotussin

Comment by John

Robapist.

Comment by Billy Whizz

The Italian Stallion

Comment by northern

On the subject of shagging people close to celebs my mate slept with tinky winky’s girlfriend

Comment by Northern

Was she the yellow one?

Comment by John

That was la la

Comment by Northern

It’s been a long time since this blog went surreal. Thank you strange gentlemen.

Comment by Pete




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