The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Oh I’m Sorry … I Didn’t Realise Bananas Were Previously Only Supposed To Be Eaten In The Home. I Guess This Is Real Innovation In Action. Or Just A Sticker. A Stupid, Stupid Sticker …
June 16, 2014, 6:10 am
Filed under: Crap Marketing Ideas From History!

What the hell is next?

Transportable biros?

Mobile smart phones?

Portable shoes?

Talking of ridiculous and mental, I will end this post by saying a very happy birthday to my brother from another mother, Paul.

He’s 44 today.


I remember when we were 8 years old and worked out that we’d be 30 in the year 2000 and that seemed like a lifetime away.

Fortunately for him, he still acts as he did in 1978 so while the years are adding up, the maturity level remains exactly the same.

Happy birthday my lovely man, can’t wait to see you in July.

28 Comments so far
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Surprised you didn’t say he was hung like a massive banana.

Comment by DH

the way campbell describes it, it’s a 4 year old boy holding a fucking massive orange.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s because if memory serves me [which I wish it didn’t, but that is one of the prices I have to pay in life] … he is hung like a horse, not a banana.

Read and weep:

Comment by Rob

And smartphones are getting so big I wouldn’t mind them being mobile again.

Comment by DH

fucking princess wimp.

Comment by andy@cynic

Somehow this is all Baz’s fault.

Comment by DH

Seems when you two are together you’re like the perfect double act. Not comedians, I’m talking murderers like Myra Hyndley and Ian Brady.

PS) that’s still more topical than 99% of your posts.

Comment by DH

Thanks. That means a lot to me. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

It’s not ridiculous. It’s a serving suggestion.

Comment by John

For fools.

Comment by Bazza

say shit like that again doddsy and ill have a fucking suggestion for you.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s not a serving suggestion, it’s a consumption suggestion. Still pointless though.

Comment by Pete

A serving suggestion? Like cornflakes say, “pour ice cold milk on these cornflakes and enjoy a tasty breakfast’ serving suggestion?

Or said another way, an excuse to say something no one either cares about or has known for decades.

Comment by Rob

Did England’s performance screw John’s brain?

Comment by DH

Their marketing department slipped on one of their own banana skins with that idea. OK, that sounded much better in my head.

Comment by Bazza

time to throw yourself out of a tall building window. or in your fucking midget case, the ground floor.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

Sorry Baz, but that made me laugh.

Comment by Rob

I’ll remember that in a few months when you want something from me.

Comment by Bazza

I’m guessing you’re not in Cannes Rob.

Comment by Bazza

if you said more funny shit like this youd go a long fucking way.

Comment by andy@cynic

Clashed with his holiday schedule.

Comment by John

Amazingly, I haven’t been bad enough this year to be sent to Cannes … which I am entirely grateful for.

Comment by Rob

paul. wherever youre meeting campbell in july. go the opposite direction. now. happy fucking birthday.

Comment by andy@cynic

He will. He will.

Comment by Rob

Completely unrelated, is actually true that you have Forest Birkenstocks? It’s not is it, it can’t be.

Comment by Northern

Actually it is … except they were made by my colleagues rather than from the Forest shop. That said, I received a package from the Forest shop this morning containing scarf, hat and socks from my colleagues … which would be lovely except it’s bloody coming into summer and I’d be out of my mind to wear them.

[And I know you’ll say I’d be out of my mind to wear them regardless of the weather, but that’s your issue, not mine]

Comment by Rob

I’m guessing Forest socks always stay down.

Comment by John

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