The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Communist Party, Party …
September 8, 2014, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

… what I’m trying to tell you is that today is a national holiday in China.

No, I’m not joking and yes, I am slightly embarrassed about it … but, as I am sure you have noticed, not so embarrassed that I am not taking them up on the holiday.

To be honest, it has nothing to do with communism, it’s ‘cultural’ because today is the mid-autumn festival, also known as the moon cake festival … a time of year where people all over the country consume pastry cakes filled with – amongst other things – duck egg yolk.

If you are trying to work out if that is disgusting or not, let me tell you that I ended up getting a tattoo of a moon cake so I didn’t have to subject myself to the annual taste-bud abuse.

And for the record, the tattoo guys did think it was bloody mental but I don’t care – it allowed me to show my cultural appreciation without having to show my cultural appreciation, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the bad news is tomorrow is NOT a holiday so there’ll be another post – but given you get them even when I’m on holiday, I guess you’re used to mental abuse.

Happy Monday … but not as happy as mine will be.


22 Comments so far
Leave a comment

what a fucking bastard joke.

Comment by andy@cynic

i mean everything. the latest holiday, your midlife crisis attempt to look like billy lite and the fucking cake youve had tattooed on your pasty white, muscle free arm. i should be grateful its not a queen logo or a fucking birkenstock but im not. whats next, a fucking chocolate eclair to show your fake fucking cultural appreciation to the french?

Comment by andy@cynic

Calling Campbell a lite version of me is an insult to all the lite versions of me which is 99% of the male population.

Comment by Billy Whizz

its not 99% of all men, just the middle aged twats who get shitty tattoos. they are also the type of twats who buy a harley, take up marathons and put gel in their hair to look like a neo nazi teenage swedish model. so 99% of them, not every fucker.

on the plus, you got your coloured arms well before middle age which is slightly better than those other twats. and as im in the mood for compliments it means campbell is less shit than the rest of those midlife crisis suffering twats. maybe 10% less shit. im going to have a drink with mr j walker to celebrate my good mood.

Comment by andy@cynic

The only cultural appreciation the chinese would want from you is to leave them alone. Why do you think they give you do any holidays? I should tell them their strategy is backfiring, but I won’t as it means it keeps you away from me.

Comment by DH

I was being sarcastic. You go know that don’t you. And yes, I realise you weren’t and you’re probably right not to be.

Comment by Rob

It’s a super shit day when Campbell writes posts when he’s on holiday. It means he might start posting rubbish on weekends and then humanity is totally fucked. Get a life Campbell, don’t post when you’re on holiday. I know you only do it to rub it in but you pull that off every day you wake up to your perfect life without having done anything to earn it or deserve it.

Comment by Billy Whizz

I sense no sign of jealousy at all in this comment.

Comment by DH

Only his money, life and job. Nothing else.

Comment by Billy Whizz

And the best bit … I wrote it ages ago so maybe I could post on weekends. Don’t worry, even I need a rest from me.

Comment by Rob

I hope those chinese characters say “I am a fucking idiot” on them. Lost opportunity if they don’t.

Comment by DH

It looks like a brain on a tray so it should say brain on a tray. Don’t the chinese say it as they see it?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Trust me, I checked them with random Chinese strangers over and over again before any needle went in my arm. Sorry to disappoint you … there are some things that I definitely put the time in to endure I get the right result. Which shows Mr Beard, my history teacher, he was wrong with his assessment of me. Oh yes.

Comment by Rob

Your faith in humanity is touching and stupid.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Lost for words.

Comment by Pete

more like lost for fucking sycophantic compliments. makes a fucking change.

Comment by andy@cynic

This is a bumper year for holidays for you Robert. Enjoy it, soon your holidays will involve trips to the park and zoo rather than the cinema and gadget shop.

Comment by Lee Hill

A reasonable but flawed assumption.

Comment by Billy Zero

He’ll buy a robot zebra or something to justify it.

Comment by DH

Good thinking. Or I could just paint stripes on one of my robot dogs.

Comment by Rob

It’s 10:57am. Guess who just role up. Guess who hadn’t read any of your comments and won’t be bothered by them when he does. Guess who has just realised this might be one of the last lie-ins I’ll ever get and is now petrified.

Comment by Rob

I suppose waking up at 10.57 is early for you. I’m the same. Whenever I don’t have to go to work, I always wake up earlier than I have to. Except you are always on holiday so you don’t know what getting up for work means.

Comment by DH




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