The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


More Bollocks Than The Average Planner Presentation …
November 6, 2014, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

I still can’t get over that Gerard Butler ad for Boss aftershave.

Seriously, I can’t.

It’s been a long time that an ad has been so bad, that I can’t stop myself watching it over and over again.

Apart from the desperate attempt to convey an oh-so-serious delivery [as if he thinks he’s auditioning for a part in Game of Thrones] the script is soooooo bad, it makes Sesame Street look like Shakespeare.

Let’s have a look at some of the shit he spouts.

“I don’t believe in less, I go all the way?”

Eh???!!

Is he – perhaps – trying to infer he’s a sexual beast who never suffers from performance anxiety or excessively quick climax?

What about, “you can see it in my stride?”

Is this his attempt to say he is hung like a donkey and when he walks, his massive penis swings side-to-side in his trousers like the pendulum of a massive clock?

Then there’s the “you can see it in my deeds”.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

What?

What the hell does that even mean?

Seriously, that’s almost as bollocks as “be true to yourself, makes me a man of success”.

Especially when it’s being delivered by an actor who is paid to not be true to themselves.

And why the hell does he keep saying “I say” at the end of sentences … like he’s trying to come over as some sort of z-grade Yoda doing a bad Sean Connery impression?

In some ways, this ad is mesmerising.

Seriously.

Of course I’d rather drink bleach that buy – or wear – the smelly shit, but it has held my attention like a Birkenstock convention.

However – and this is the kicker for Boss and anyone who says it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you disrupt – when Mr Gerard assertively [but with more than a hint of annoyance or desperation in his voice] states, “I am a man” [at 21 seconds] I can’t help but feel that if I was forced to make a choice, I’d much rather be like the man this man smells like this.

Boom Tish.


48 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Take a bow Robert, that was pure entertainment.

Comment by George

you must be having a super fucking shit day then.

Comment by andy@cynic

I am actually Andrew, but that was not the reason for my praise. But now I come to think about it….

Comment by George

I must be having a bad day as well because I liked this post too.

Comment by DH

Typically, I struggled to get past the misuse of infer.

Comment by John

All my days are bad ones.

Comment by John

hes from nottingham, we should be impressed the fucker can speak. even if it is all utter shite.

Comment by andy@cynic

Andy is the happiness vampire.

Comment by Rob

thank you.

Comment by andy@cynic

Boss should be bottled for this. Not that I condone violence of course. It’s only advertising after all.

Comment by John

i dont think it even fucking qualifies as that doddsy.

Comment by andy@cynic

pretty good character assassination there campbell, but even though butler sounds like a bagpipe spouting ad manifesto bollocks, hes still more man than youll ever be. a twat of a man, but a man.

Comment by andy@cynic

Dolly Parton is more of a man than Rob.

Comment by DH

just seen your link to old spice guy. thats funny and corporate toady slime bucket at the same fucking time.

Comment by andy@cynic

Review time calls for desperate measures.

Comment by Rob

What has Gerard Butler ever done to you Rob?

Comment by Bazza

But your comment about the ad was fair and balanced. In the way Fox News is fair and balanced.

Comment by Bazza

Isn’t doing this ad enough of a reason?

Comment by DH

Are you actually defending Gerard Butler Baz?

Comment by Rob

It was not intentional.

Comment by Bazza

Your best writing in a long time.

Comment by Wayne Green

Another example of your backhanded compliment genius, Wayne. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Actually I quite like it

Comment by Rob (other one)

The above comment is, obviously, a joke.
I think it’s telling that in none of the various pieces of PR can I see any mention of the agency involved.

Even in the weird world of luxury, you would expect the writing to be better.

It’s an interesting idea that stumbles at every turn. Dodgy writing, a famous director who doesn’t appear to add any magic, an actor who realises the script is shit and wishes he’d said no. Etc etc.

There is so much you could do and say around the idea of #manoftoday – sadly what we get is #manoftoady

Totally agree with the comment that said it looks like it was made for the client not the customer.

It makes me want to throw away the Boss aftershave I have in irritation.

Comment by Rob (other one)

Bloody hell, you’ve come back. Welcome, you’ve been missed. But I have one question … is life in Australia so sterile that you feel this blog fills the gap you have for intellectual inspiration?

No, I didn’t think so either.

Comment by Rob

Who could stay away from such entertaining debates such as this..?

Comment by FamousRob (@FamousRob)

Rob, since you seem to be a big ‘fan’ of Hugh Jackman, I do not know whether you have seen this ad he did for an Indian mobile brand?

Dig it?

Comment by Subbu

Yes I’ve seen that. What Hugh forgot is we live in the digital age so these sort of “pocket money earning” exercises in Asia can no longer be hidden. But at least he knew he should keep this thing away from any potential Hollywood agents eyes … what was Gerard thinking? Oh that’s right, he wasn’t.

Comment by Rob

at least jackman has been wolverine. butler has just been a twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

Agree. But he or his behaviour is just a symptom. We in the agency business are no better. We want to be all things for all people just to keep the cash registers ringing. So is Hugh and many like him. The biggest problem is greed and ego.

Comment by Subbu

I don’t know if I agree with you on that. I definitely agree about ego and greed being the problem … but I don’t know if everything is done to keep the cash registers ringing, more like everything is done to achieve the internal KPI’s.

It might be better if it was all focused on the till … my first boss certainly believed that was the case … but the problem even with that is, like the Belgium Football Team Director stated [http://tinyurl.com/qa64xaz], if all you do is focus on the win, you don’t develop or evolve, you just learn habits that slowly bring you down rather than lift you up.

Comment by Rob

“People and organizations are aggregations of their various incentives.”

Comment by John

I love the fact this actually a thinly veiled promotion of wk (can’t be bothered with the +) are you trying to make up for dan discovering your holiday schedule by any chance?

Comment by Northern

Yeah, jealous on-line journalists who don’t look like Butler, might not be as well endowed as Butler, nor ever be as rich and successful as Butler will always not get this kind of ad about men who’ve made it coming up the hard way. They did it afraid. Butler did it his way. His deeds are his product. He was chosen by the house of Hugo Boss because he embodies the man who made it…

Love the ad. Love Butler.

Comment by GFW

This is the best comment ever
I don’t think you realise you prove the very point you dispute
Gold

Comment by Northern

Hugo Boss could have picked anyone. Anyone. They wanted someone who has drive, ambition, and cares enough to wear fragrance whether dressed proper and smart or just going on a date. Gerry is that every guy who wanted to succeed and did so fiercely determined with spirit and drive. Admit it, he did.

Fired from one job he used that to propel himself into one of The Hardest businesses in The World to break into and stay afloat in. Like I said, he did it afraid.

Comment by GFW

oi gfw, never fucking call campbell an online journalist, thats a fucking disgrace to online journalists which you obviously are with your clear analysis of the issues and expertly expressed opinion. youve also explained why only twats will buy this shit. im sure youll smell fucking wonderful.

Comment by andy@cynic

his deeds are his product? so shit movies that hint of homoeroticism are what makes a man. did you write this ad? is that why youre so upset or do you live in the house of hugo boss which is a fucking office block in an industrial estate in luton.

Comment by andy@cynic

Dude, I meant it as a slight. The fact is this fella, the author, hasn’t measured up while Gerry has. Not only has but exceeded even his own expectations. Dedication. He’s made it and now can relax and not have to work so hard. A mulch-millionaire with fantastic real estate investments. Famous and very good looking. As for you, you can’t fix ugly.

Not impressed. Gerry on his worst days, and trust me he has them like we all do, is a better bigger more valued man in his industry than you’ll be. Deal with it. Stop trying to tear him down to make you look better. That is what a twat really is.

Comment by GFW

Do you know Gerard? Do you know Rob? Do you know anything?

Comment by Bazza

Yes, his deeds are his product and why Hugo Boss chose him to represent them. And he does so very well. He cleans up well. He’s educated, intelligent, well built, fit, active, funny coming from a good family, and turned things around to make him an icon for men who need someone who might need a mentor.

No, I didn’t write the ad. Is it over-the-top? Sure. They all are because, for the most part, they’re selling something: happiness.

The ad is classy, simple, and uses its colors well. Not to mention Butler is easy on the eyes… whether in a suit or cargo pants and tee.

I do smell wonderful. How’d you guess? But Sandalwood is my thing, Crabtree & Evelyn.

Oh, and nine times out of ten it is women who mainly purchase for their men. And Gerry is appealing not just to women but to men. It’s not silly or cute. It’s all man.

If I saw this ad, and know what I do about his movies, and his background, I’d go, “Hum, this might be good for my man.” I hope it does well.

Comment by GFW

No.
No.
Yes.

Have a nice night.

Cheers!

Comment by GFW

campbell has a troll. a shit stupid troll but still a troll. congratulations campbell, youve made it. and gfw, id bet campbell has more fucking houses than your sexual fantasy and hes from fucking nottingham which means he must be more of a man than your overacting twat. nar nar na nar nar.

youre right about him being an ugly fuck though.

Comment by andy@cynic

This is brilliant. Gerard Butler’s mum/sister is slagging me off. For the record, I never said I was a better man than Gerard – and I’m most definitely not as pretty – but I am less preposterous than the rubbish he spouts in that ad.

That said, you highlighted one of the real insights behind women buying aftershave for their men … projected fantasy … except we did that with Old Spice and in a far more entertaining way.

Anyway, thank you and I hope he gets you a great mothers day/sisters birthday card this year.

Thanks for the nice words and I hope

Comment by Rob

by the way gfw, youre either 8 or 80, which the fuck is it?

Comment by andy@cynic

Base language does not impress me. Holding back from using it does. And men who do that, show that kind of respect for a woman, them… them go for that. And you know what? Gerard can do that. He can.

To answer your question? I’m as beautiful as I think I am and as smart as you think I am. I’m as the website you visited curious because intelligence is a powerful attraction, isn’t it? And you can’t bargain with the truth. And trust is the hardest currency.

Comment by GFW

I think you were looking for this site. Must have typed in the wrong address. http://www.millsandboon.co.uk

Comment by DH

[…] Regardless, all I can say is that if I was going to be reading that load of contrived wank, I’d be talking in a low voice as well. I can only assume that whoever wrote it also wrote this. […]

Pingback by It’s Monday, So To Add To Your Misery, Watch One Of The Most Inauthentic & Contrived Pieces Of Shit Since Any Ad Featured A Kid Wearing A Baseball Cap Back To Front, Because They Wanted To Look Like They Were “Down With The Kids”… | Naija




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