The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Shit Can Always Happen But So Can Great Things …
November 20, 2014, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

There’s a couple of people I know who are struggling with some major decisions in their life.

Some of them are almost paralysed by it … knowing they should act but fearing what might happen if they do.

All this is leading to is doubt, uncertainty stagnation and regret.

Of course big decisions need big considerations, but too often we end up focusing on what we might lose rather than also considering what we might gain.

I get it. I really do.

When I was deciding on whether to move to Australia, I was utterly conflicted.

A lot of things were going on in my life at that time so the easier option was definitely to stay in England.

And yet my heart – and my parents – felt it was something I should do.

I was so stressed out by the decision that, much to my parents amazement, I went to see a councellor.

In over an hour of conversation, there was one thing he said that especially helped.

While he acknowledged moving to Australia was a risk – especially for the reasons I was going to do it – he said the thing I had to remember was the greater the risk the greater the potential reward.

Of course that’s obvious and of course, that also highlighted how in my particular case, there was a relatively low potential for success … but in my quest to work out what to do, I’d lost sight of the possibilities that could occur if it all went well and that bit of clarity helped me make my decision.

For me, that decision was to move 12,000 miles away from my beloved family and see what might happen.

And what happened?

Well, based on the original reasons I went … it failed.

It didn’t fail immediately and I had an amazing journey along the way but based on the final outcome, it failed.

However for a billion different reasons, it changed my life for the better forever.

Seriously.

I cannot begin to cover all the amazing things I have experienced and discovered in my life because I took that first step.

To be quite honest, everything that has happened to me in the last 18 years can be traced back to that decision to go.

Every single thing.

The life I now enjoy would never – and I am not overestimating that – have happened had I let my mind only focus on the risk rather than the potential for reward.

That doesn’t mean my life would have been bad had I stayed in England, but it would certainly be very different and so I am forever grateful to my parents, friends and councillor who helped me make a balanced decision rather than a fear driven one.

So to the people I mentioned at the beginning of this post who are going through their own moment of indecision, I leave you a little poem.

It was given to me by a friend who was given it by their friend.

After 17 years of marriage their husband died.

He was 39.

She was on her own with a young child.

She didn’t know what to do but she knew she had to do something.

It helped her. I hope it helps you.


35 Comments so far
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you are the most schitzo fucker i know campbell and that includes 2 ex wives who went from babes to bastards inside 36 months. each.

one day you write about being ripped off by twatty friends then you write some bollocks on shit planning and shit focus groups then you send a love letter to your best friends fucking horse sized cock and now this bit of sweet and nice. youre a fucking freak and id ask you to reconsider going away from this shithole if i didnt know youll be back in a matter of fucking weeks because were the only friends you have got. now can you lend me 10k for a fucking holiday. ill pay you back. eventually.

Comment by andy@cynic

I think this is a compliment. Is it a compliment? You wrap them up so well that I can’t tell.

Comment by Rob

are you the one struggling to make big decisions? dont worry campbell, remember the kid is made up of half of jill so it should be fine even if your genes will try and trip the poor kid up at every fucking turn.

Comment by andy@cynic

The egotistical bastard thinks we’re struggling how to cope with the news this blog will end. My devastation has come out as smiles and happiness. But I’m crying inside Rob. Deep, deep down inside. Maybe.

Comment by Billy Whizz

its not exactly a blowjob from angelina jolie but its the closest youll get to her being a nottingham maiden. http://tinyurl.com/mhqw9oo

Comment by andy@cynic

Well that’s put me off her for life.

Comment by DH

I thought that was a Nottingham thing, not a Derby. Your arch enemies beat you in the league, steal your phrases and now rob you of your love. You’re in for a crap day today Rob.

Comment by DH

That. Is. Epic.

And yes Dave, it is a Nottingham thing … but given Derby is about 15 miles away, it’s also sort-of theirs, but it started with us. Oh yes.

Comment by Rob

Why was moving to Australia from Nottingham a risk? I thought they welcomed criminals?

Comment by DH

“In over an hour of conversation, there was one thing he said that especially helped.”

In over an hour of conversation, there was only one time he had the opportunity to speak.

Comment by John

The therapist needed to see a therapist after seeing Rob.

Comment by Billy Whizz

This is delightful Robert. I will miss this blog while you are on your temporary leave of absence.

Comment by Lee Hill

Don’t you start.

Comment by Rob

I’m not starting anything Robert. I am simply stating my perspective based on the many years working with you.

Comment by Lee Hill

Dayum, i get here just as the lights go out and the janitor arrives to sweep up whatever that IS over in the corner–yeuwww–typical, typical…

Comment by judyt54

You didn’t miss a thing. And you’ll find that out when he comes back. We’re not that lucky for him to leave us alone.

Comment by Billy Whizz

you seem a nice lady judyt54 so take my advice, get the fuck away and never turn back. this place shits on your self fucking respect and laughs at your soul. its fucked up.

Comment by andy@cynic

what you mean nice.. she is a pervy as the rest of.. she spotted the dolphin vagina too..

Comment by niko

Hello Judyt54 … it’s lovely you are here. Sadly I have to agree with the other commentators, this blog is not at all somewhere that nice people should inhabit, so please tread safely and thank you for your nice words.

Comment by Rob

just found this again after a few weeks, but ty rob. if it gets too deep or too icky I know where the door is, okay. for now its just fascinating how many strange ways men have of saying “I love you” to each other. lol
now you may all go over there in the corner and retch quietly.

Andy, nothing shits on my self respect unless I let it, remember that. Not even you, darlin’.

Comment by judyt54

Very nice post Robert and the poem will be sent to a friend who it seems it was written for.

Comment by George

Having done that same move for different reasons, and had an opening 10months that was pretty rubbish outside the new location – I absolutely get this. It’s totally spot on too.

Since I announced I was coming here, I must have heard at least 20 British people tell me they want to do the same move, and only a few of them have. I have a feeling the rest of them will look back later and wish they had.

Comment by Rob (other one)

I remember a friend of mine once said to me, “I wish I did that” … and I replied, “You could have”.

And that’s the thing, anyone can.

There’s definitely implications to doing it – some emotionally tough and challenging things – but the reality is the potential for wonderfulness is also there, maybe in different ways than you first imagined but definitely there and isn’t that part of the joy of living in the first place?

Comment by Rob

Exactly. Every decision has good and bad, but that’s life, don’t miss out on it through fear of failure.

Comment by Rob (other one)

Nice post Rob. The problem with fear is we tend to think the absolute worst will happen where with good possibilities, we restrain ourselves from dreaming too big which gives fear an unfair advantage from the start.

Comment by Pete

That’s a good point Pete … we see the worst in all its exaggerated glory but only see degrees of happiness as the other option. Hadn’t thought about it like that … though I wonder if there’s also a cultural element to that given the British are almost self-depreciating but the American’s are more confident than John Holmes in a naked tourist resort.

Comment by Rob

thank you for THAT image; and before breakfast, too. argh argh
I do notice that you didnt say “John Holmes naked”, lol.

And please don’t

Comment by judyt54

I love that the positive outcomes of moving we’re not the originally intended.
Just doing stuff opens all sorts of possibility.
I never knew that the internet, mostly a tool for opening the world,was born thanks to military attempts to close it,until last week.
Of course thanks to the internet I’m also seeing queen so the unexpected outcomes aren’t always good.
I met my wife after being made to go out with a mate’s girlfriend and her friends when I wanted to stay in and sulk over a very ugly breakup (my fault) you really need to give yourself the chance for stuff to happen ( and yes Juliette would argue this unexpected outcome was unwelcome )

Comment by Northern

I love the point about ‘giving yourself the chance for stuff to happen’ … that’s so true but people often don’t look at opportunities that way, needing to feel there will be instantaneous change to feel positive about moving forward and even then, that is sometimes not enough.

But the thing is, that’s not how life tends to work… as I said, my life definitely didn’t go to plan when I moved to Australia, however now, 20 years later, I can look back with the knowledge that the life I lead now far exceeds anything I could have imagined.

It’s a great point and for that, you and your wife win 2 tickets to see Queen in Leeds. [Cue my evil laugh]

Comment by Rob

God damn the internet

Comment by Northern

God love the internet.

Comment by Rob

So much outcome bias here.

Comment by John

what the fuck are you fuckers going on about?

all i know is that the only time campbell is generous with the cash is when hes fucking or humiliating someone over. and for me he didnt even bother doing that, he just ruined my life by making me start a business with him and taking all the fucking perks for himself. my exes attorneys werent that fucking evil. thats why you have to keep doing this fucking blog campbell, so i can be sure im as far as fucking away from you as possible.

and dont make tomorrows post some sentimental oscar speech shit. youll be back, we all fucking know it. off to get pissed in preparation for the oncoming brain rape.

Comment by andy@cynic

Gold.

Comment by DH

One word: Beautiful. And two more: thank you.

Comment by Sarah




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