The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


You Can’t Let A Momentous Day Pass Without Comment …
January 20, 2015, 6:20 am
Filed under: Northern, Queen

Like Halley’s comet, sometimes an event comes round that demands to be recorded and reacted to.

Today is the recording of that event.

Tomorrow may be the reaction to it.

Well, it will be if the person in question bothers to write about the experience on their blog … because this blog is currently closed so I won’t be writing any more, even if this post proves the word ‘closed’ is very ambiguous where I am concerned.

What am I talking about?

Well today, this man …

… is going to be seeing this band …

… tonight in Leeds.

Yes, that really is Northern Planner [sorry, I just can’t get use to the whole shortened, ‘Northern’ moniker] and yes that really is Queen [or half of them, with a bloke from American Idol].

It’s like Chairman Mao meeting George Bush.

Or Margret Thatcher meeting Arthur Scargill.

Or Sonic The Hedgehog meeting Mario.

It’s a potentially explosive combination – or at least a brain raping one – and I am happily the reason it’s all going to happen.

You see a few months ago I mentioned on Twitter that Queen were going to be playing in Leeds when Northern sarcastically said if I got him tickets, he’d go.

So I did.

And he is.

With his wife.

Hahahahahahaha.

Northern utterly loathes Queen.

He loathes them as much as I despise The Smiths

And while the band he is going to see is not the ‘real Queen’, it’s as close as he’ll ever come to it and I am excited because while he might loathe the band, hate everything they stand for and generally be the most miserable bastard in the place … I have a feeling that being part of a crowd that is loudly enjoying and physically engaging in the spectacle, might overwhelm his cynicism and give him a night he enjoys.

And if not, it will at least give him a night he’ll always remember.

I’ve written about the power of crowds before. Unlike being the only sober person in a room of drunks, this is different. You find you want to join in. You feel swept up in the emotion of the moment. You start smiling and having a good time … even if you never thought that would be possible.

So I’m interested to see what happens tonight with Northern.

I’m not expecting him to suddenly love Queen just like I don’t like the Smiths despite finding Morrissey less of a dick as I always suspected he was, but maybe – just maybe – he will find himself having had a good night out with the missus and if that happens, that will make me happy because not only will I always have that on him, he is a good man and I’m glad I could do something nice for him and his wife.

Even if it was all done with the intent of evil.

We’ll see I suppose … though I must admit the best outcome for me is if he hates himself for having a good night out at a Queen concert.

Even if it’s not really Queen and it’s hard not to have fun at any concert.

Unless it’s something like One Direction.

Jesus, just typing that makes me ill.

Oh, and as I haven’t really written anything for the past 2 months, I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas, New Year, Birthday etc etc. See, the rest has made me nice. Sort-of.

Even though none of you really care, the baby is good, the family is good and fatherhood is brilliant … though that is only my opinion and others may see things rather differently. Especially a little boy that experiences more drama when I change his nappy than the feelings he went through when he came into this World.

And with that, sit back and watch this … knowing Northern will be experiencing a slightly diluted – but much louder – version of this in a few hours.

Don’t forget to check his blog in the morning to see what went down.

I’ll be waiting with baited breath because if he loved it or if he hated it, it’s all a win:win for me.

[Cue: Evil Laugh]

And with that, I hope all is well and see you around.

Probably.


79 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Northern sold his soul for 2 queen tickets? Is that because he’s northern and the ticket price would feel like he has won the lottery or just a fucking idiot?

Comment by DH

even though campbell is bound to have blagged those tickets, getting 2 for free would make groper a billionaire by oop north standards. good on the fucker for holding out for the big deal because we all know hed sell his fucking cock for a curly wirley and a can of fucking tizer.

Comment by andy@cynic

Do curly wurly’s and tizer still exist? What am I talking about, in north England, they’re the food of the cosmopolitan.

Comment by DH

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curly_Wurly

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tizer

Just found out tizer comes from Manchester. Explains everything.

Comment by DH

And you accuse me of not being topical!!! Though I used to love Tizer. And Curly Wurly now I come to think of it. Especially when they were only 10p.

Comment by Rob

Is this the start of this blog again or not. You say it isn’t but you work in advertising so I don’t trust a word you say.

Comment by DH

And he’s from nottingham.

Comment by Billy Whizz

and hes a fucking planner.

Comment by andy@cynic

Not this post Dave. But don’t get too comfortable yet. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Pretty evil move you just did on northern. Well done. If you try and pull something like that with me, I’d just prefer the money please.

Comment by DH

The only good thing about reading a new post from Rob is finding out there is going to be someone who is going to have an even shitter day than me. Enjoy northern, I know you won’t.

Comment by Billy Whizz

theres another person who is going to have a more fucked person. whoever youre fucking dating. see, ive just improved your mood by 100%. you fucking owe me. i mean you fucking owe me even more.

Comment by andy@cynic

Silver lining Billy.

Comment by DH

Fuck you all.

Comment by Billy Whizz

For a post celebrating your deviousness Rob, there’s a lot of interesting thoughts in here. Less “wisdom of crowds” and more “influence of crowds.”

Best of all, by sending Northern to see Queen, you have a test subject to explore your theories. Sorry Northern, but your pain is “planner science” gain.

Comment by Pete

theres a hint of fucking evil in this comment pete. not much but because you make mother teresa look like a fucking s&m dungeon queen, it stands out. finally youre coming over to the dark side where all the fun is.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m not sure if that is a compliment but thank you.

Comment by Pete

oh but it fucking is. ungrateful fucker.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m sure he will be “swept up in the emotion of the moment”. That or the tsunami of northwerners demanding a refund for being fobbed off with a karaoke tribute act.

Comment by John

Except Queen are the most successful band – in terms of album sales – in the UK, which means there must be more than just me who loves their stuff. Admit it John, you’ve got a couple of sneaky Queen albums somewhere. And no, the bin doesn’t count.

Comment by Rob

Their past is not in question. It’s the present I have issues with. John Deacon was right, the others were and continue to be wrong. And for the record, I have never owned any Queen music or merchandise.

Comment by John

Music’s too vital and too important to be diluted into a series of disposable heritage experiences.

Comment by John

I do have to agree with you – and Mr Deacon – but if that had happened, I would never have had the chance to violate Northern’s mind, so maybe it was worth putting up with that awful ‘Cosmos Rocks’ album they did with Paul Rogers.

Comment by Rob

Andrew’s suffering resulted in Robert writing a post. If that is what it takes, I am all for Andrew’s suffering. Apologies Andrew.

Comment by George

can you say andrew say any more times auntie?

Comment by andy@cynic

I could, but I know facetious when I see it.

Comment by George

I am looking forward to the results of this adventure.
Two posts in two weeks. I’d prefer more, but it is a good start.

Comment by Lee Hill

He might need a few months to get over the shock before he can write his response Lee.

Comment by Rob

First a correction, I’m taking my sister who is a lifelong Queen fan – Juliette REALLY didn’t want to go. My sister is very excited and will be wearing a Queen t-shirt (I will not).
I will be going with an open mind, yes I will share a selfie to prove I went.
And yes, will write a balanced review tomorrow.
I’ve already booked Morrissey and Ryan Adams tickets to offset the pain.
However, I do expect I might enjoy the crowd thingy.
I know I’ll enjoy die-hard Queen fans moaning about how crap Lambert is.

Comment by Northern

So what you’re actually saying is your wife has more integrity than you? What on earth is she doing with you.

And yes, the die-hards will moan about how crap Lambert is, but they’ll still be clapping their hands like moronic mentalists. I know I did.

Can’t wait for the selfie. As I said, whether you love it or hate it, I win either way. Hahahaha.

Comment by Rob

Remember your earplugs northern. And wear a morrissey t, that will screw with all the queen fans minds.

Comment by DH

and your bottle of meths to numb the fucking pain of extravagant beige blandness.

Comment by andy@cynic

If you decide to ever go back to Facebook. you’ll see he’s there and you can sense the despair from a couple of badly shot instagram photos. It’s ace.

Comment by Rob

im not going to any place that lets me be a fucking member. and youre a bastard campbell. has anyone ever told you that. oh yes, everyfuckingone.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s been said a few times in the past.

Comment by Rob

My suffering is worth the re-introduction of this blog – but what you might have to deal with is the possibility I’m actually a Queen fan who has finally seen the fruition of a ten year plan to get free tickets by pretending to hate them.
In any case, just pray that Morrissey doesn’t tour Shanghai.

Comment by Northern

I think I can feel pretty confident Mr Moaner won’t come to Shanghai. They might let in all manner of musicians, but if they felt Lady Gaga was a threat to society, they’ll certainly think Morrissey is … which is ironic, given in the ’80’s, he was wailing about the sort of stuff communism is supposed to represent.

Comment by Rob

It was bland. It was predictable.
Under Pressure missed Bowie.
But it’s hard not to enjoy 10,000 happy people

Comment by Northern

You can find 10,000 happy people at all sorts of extremist rallies – I’m not sure that’s a plus point.

Comment by John

It is if they are Smiths fans

Comment by northern

More entertaining than Leeds Utd though. And your sister said you enjoyed yourself. Though the fact your “review” states Meatloaf is better at certain things shows your judgement is seriously flawed. But not as much as repeatedly coming on here proves. I’m glad you humoured me and went though. Thanks for that. Made my month.

Comment by Rob

Congratulations on getting through the experience relatively unscathed Andrew. It must rank next to some of your finest achievements.

Comment by Pete

10000 happy Smiths fans seems like an oxymoron to me.

Comment by John

Do you need memory bleach?

Comment by DH

Seeing queen is more deadly than ebola.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Say what you like. He went. He didn’t totally loathe it. He even gave Brian May a B+ for effort on the guitar. Plus his sister said he loved it. Short of him buying and wearing a tour t-shirt, I go away happy.

Comment by Rob

I was polite to my sister
I said it enjoyed the spectacle to be precise
Still bland over blown music

Comment by Northern

Were they better than MediaArts.
That’s all that matters.

Comment by Rob

They’d better be, that would be the ultimate diss.

Comment by Rob

you know they were better than media arts
vengaboys are better than media arts

Comment by Northern

I’m not getting into a debate about Meatloaf, he’s merely a lesser evil

Comment by Northern

So is satan.

Comment by DH

It’s quiet on here. Too quiet.

Comment by DH

much too fucking quiet. i smell a shitstorm of disaster coming. or it could be campbells aftershave.

Comment by andy@cynic

Wasn’t that one of his bands?

Comment by John

which is usually the last thing the hero says before hearing a guttural scream in the distance, and someone says, breathlessly, “what was that?” and the hero says, “”my god,. that was Jean” and the adventure begins again, only this time they’re running in total darkness with only a flickering torch to guide them… until the rains start…

Comment by judyt54

did you write the latest season of walking dead?

Comment by andy@cynic

Not the early seasons?

Comment by DH

lol too much John Grisham will do that to a girl
(actually i wrote a pilot for walking dead and they said it was too scary, come back after the meds took hold)

Comment by judyt54

Your patience will soon be rewarded. Did I say patience? I meant cheeky, sarcastic insults.

Comment by Rob

And if that sounds like a threat, it’s because it is. Ha.

Comment by Rob

the weather is fucking shit. bonnie has a cold. the wife is at her parents. and i get this fucking news. 2015 is fucking shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

And we’re only in the first month of it.

Comment by Rob

you think i dont fucking realise that.

Comment by andy@cynic

Just rubbing it in. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Well I hope he found some way to appreciate because I for one would have died to be in the audience.

Comment by Jay

Next time I’ll buy you the tickets Jay.

Comment by Rob

I did find some way to appreciate it.
Don’t start labeling me Mr Ungrateful.
Freddie wants to know about the other thing by the way.

Comment by Northern

To be honest, that might kill me too.

Comment by Jay

I’m only teasing Northern – as I said, even if you loathed it, I’d still be happy because I got you to go.

As for ‘the other thing’ … still working on it, but it won’t be Korea. After Chinese New Year all this stuff ramps up again so that’s when I can see how good my manipulation skills actually are.

Comment by Rob

Based on my attending queen I would venture those skills are second to none

Comment by Northern

I’m putting that in my resume!

Comment by Rob

I can’t believe I’m saying this but can you write a post soon Rob. That photo of northern disturbs me. I can’t see his hands and I think he might be masturbating furiously.

Comment by DH

In that case you’re going to be really happy tomorrow.

Comment by Rob

look what youve gone and fucking done dave you twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

Shit.

Comment by DH

You’ve made tomorrow better for me already. Thanks gents.

Comment by Rob

I woke up this morning knowing that by the end of the day you will have written a post. I’m hoping you’re just trying to scare me but I think you’re going to follow through. It’s going to be a bad day.

Comment by DH

stop being a whiny little shit. nothing campbell can do can hurt us. it can fucking bore us but not hurt us.

Comment by andy@cynic




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: