Filed under: Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!
Have a look at this …
Putting aside the ever so slight over-promise and over-exageration that Costa are offering a ‘world class business platform’ that ‘fuels the best meetings, ideas and people’ … the bit that makes me laugh the most is that all they’re actually offering is a coffee machine.
A massive, unsightly coffee machine.
A massive, unsightly, over-the-top coffee machine that requires you to do everything except boil the water for their watered down, poor excuse for a coffee.
That is unless you force some poor secretary to make it for you in a bid to delude yourself that you are important when really you’re st another victim of the annual brainstorm meeting.
And then there’s the claim this visual monstrosity was created by leading design and technology experts.
What leading design and technology experts was that then … the same ones who designed the outfit for Coco The Clown?
Hell, even the way they have added ‘Express’ to their name is annoying.
Not only does it look like a cheap after-thought, it hardly conveys the image cues of groundbreaking ideas … whatever the image cues for groundbreaking ideas actually are.
Look, I get they want to expand their market.
I get they want to brand themselves as offering unique values.
But it’s all utter bollocks isn’t it.
They may claim a cup of their coffee will enable you to stomp around the office a little bit taller and a teensy-bit more confident … but what they’re basically selling is the equivalent of popping into your kitchen at home to make a cup of instant coffee … except it costs 10 times as much, tastes 10 times less enjoyable
Actually that’s wrong.
Because with the Costa Express Self-Serve Coffee Bar [TM] not only you find yourself holding a massive purple cup that screams “I AM A MIDDLE LEVEL NO BODY WITH ABSOLUTELY NO TASTE”, you’ll also earn the ridicule of your colleagues when, instead of coming up with a World Class idea as stated in the above ad, you’ll stress out when asked what you’d like to order for lunch from the brainstorm menu.
I’ve been in this industry for a long time … I’ve heard all sorts of over-claim and ridiculous reframe … but I have to take my hat off to Costa for pushing the boundaries of big-talking to a whole new level.
They sign off the ad with ‘GET A TASTE’, they should have replaced it with ‘GET A LIFE’.
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