The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


You Know You’ve Made It When …
April 23, 2015, 6:20 am
Filed under: Comment

So I’ve been doing this planning lark for a long time.

And while it is very un-British of me to say, I think I am pretty good at it.

Not as good as some … like the people I know who have never been planners before and yet suddenly get a job in an agency as the head of the department, but good all the same.

While I’ve had my fair share of accolades over the years, I recently saw something on Linkedin that made me think, “I’ve made it”.

Can you see what it is?

It’s that thing on the far right hand side of the page.

The one with the headline, ‘Are You A Head of Planning?’

This might help:

Yes, I know I’ve had my fair share of weird experiences with Linkedin in the past, and I also know that the brain tends to dismiss reality when it is being complimented, but I’m a head of planning so it must be targeted at me, which means I – little ol’ Rob Campbell from Nottingham – has the chance to be in the ‘Who’s Who’ book of Bristol.

Yes, Bristol.

Fucking Bristol.

Putting aside the fact the Who’s Who is a massive money making con and the only people who go in it are ego-maniacs with low self-esteem, who the hell would want to be in the Bristol edition except for someone who lives in Bristol?

Even then, who from Bristol would want to be in a book featuring countless other ego-maniac/low self-esteem individuals who all have weird accents and evaluate ‘success’ by how many times they’ve crossed over the Clifton Suspension Bridge in the last month.

Look, my ego could put Bono to shame and my low self-esteem would keep a psychiatrist in business for decades, but even I wouldn’t want to be in this. Believe it or not, I wouldn’t want to be in the Nottingham edition either [though I might give it 0.2 seconds more consideration than I gave this] … which basically highlights 3 problems with digital :

1. Digital marketing is not as precise as many like to claim.

[Yes, it’s better than most of the ‘old approaches’, but it’s still got a shitload of flaws in it, of which one is that we now have so much quality data available to us, it has become harder to distinguish between what can give us answers and what will throw us off the scent]

2. Big Data should be renamed Broad Data.

3. Linkedin really do hate me.


26 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Bright side. It’s not the Luton edition.

Comment by George

he doesnt deserve to even be in that pile of shite.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thank you Mr Positive … though the reality is that they probably passed on my possible inclusion.

Comment by Rob

The only thing planners deserve to be seen in is jail.

Comment by Billy Whizz

youre being far too fucking generous.

Comment by andy@cynic

That would be less embarrassing than being seen in the Bristol edition of Who’s Who.

Comment by Rob

Or being seen inside a sheep.

Comment by DH

But I now like linkedin more.

Comment by Billy Whizz

me too. funnier than a german fucking accountant working at wpp.

Comment by andy@cynic

everyone wait a fucking minute. even though the who who con bastards would let hitler in if he coughed up enough cash, theyre only saying campbell can check if hes eligible for inclusion. seems even thieving publishing scammers have some fucking taste.

Comment by andy@cynic

Good point. That’s almost a relief.

I think appearing in Who’s Who says the same thing as having personalised numberplates. You’re a sad bastard.

Comment by Rob

same as having a personalised fucking bike?

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s not a personalised bike. It’s a custom build … there’s a world of difference between the two and I’m sticking with that excuse.

Comment by Rob

Well you are a regional head, so the algorithm wasn’t that far off.

Comment by John

Has anyone ever found linkedin useful?

Comment by Bazza

Only for headhunters to look like they’re doing their job but are even lazier than the average head of planning.

Comment by Rob

Congratulations Robert. Even being considered is an accolade. Keep telling yourself that.

Comment by Lee Hill

Gold. *applause*

Comment by DH

lee goes motherfuckingbadass.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thanks Lee. Thanks a lot. [For nothing]

Comment by Rob

Lee FTW

Comment by Billy Whizz

Just attempting to fit in Robert.

Comment by Lee Hill

I am going to invite you to speak at a conference. The deal is you have to talk about why big data should be renamed broad data. To encourage you to say yes, I’ll tell you that Linkedin will be in attendance.

Comment by Pete

As if Rob needs an excuse to speak at a conference. We need an excuse for him not to speak at a conference.

Comment by DH

You should make him do it via the medium of Minecraft. Otherwise, we should all just agree there is only one type of data and it’s called data. Most people are innumerate and thus don’t have the first idea about what it means so there’s really no need to wang on about big and broad.

Comment by John

I agree with you John, but there is mass blinkered thinking going on and I think it would be fun to have Rob come along and burst their collective bubble.

Comment by Pete




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