The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

It’s Monday, So To Add To Your Misery, Watch One Of The Most Inauthentic & Contrived Pieces Of Shit Since Any Ad Featured A Kid Wearing A Baseball Cap Back To Front, Because They Wanted To Look Like They Were “Down With The Kids”.
May 4, 2015, 6:25 am
Filed under: Comment

Before you press the arrow, please make sure your rubbish bin is handy, you’re probably going to be throwing up into it within 2 minutes.


Good luck.

[NB: This film so old, you’ve probably all already seen it which means this post is even more pointless than usual … but since when has that ever stopped me? I’ll tell you. Never]

Seriously, how many [hipster/millennial] cliches are in that?

I swear to god it has to be some sort of World Record.

I’m not sure if it was written by a researcher, a planner or the wannabe-client.

Regardless, all I can say is that if I was going to be reading that load of contrived wank, I’d be talking in a low voice as well. I can only assume that whoever wrote it also wrote this.

And for the record, if any of you go there when it opens … you’re not part of the present, you’re part of the pretentious wannabes set and the only thing you should be served is a swift karate kick to the throat.

Happy Monday.


34 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I’d go there. But only for the chicks. They should come to me though.

Comment by Billy Whizz

They will Billy. In their police uniforms. To arrest you.

Comment by Rob

I was first commentator. How fucked is that.

Comment by Billy Whizz

I think you’ll find you were commenting. But I agree with your subsequent sentiment.

Comment by John

You’re on this blog and decide I’m the one who needs picking out for writing shit?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Crappy Sunday Billy?

Comment by DH

Congrats on your lifetime achievement Billy.

Comment by Rob

Even the local council call that area of Copenhagen “the hipster district”. That information alone should make you want to avoid it at all costs, without needing to watch/listen the terribly cliched and pretentious script, film and voice over.

Comment by Pete

How the hell do you know that? Your worldliness knows no bounds. Unless you googled it. Yeah, you probably googled it. Ha.

Comment by Rob

“You are different – just like us.”

Comment by John

The big question is if this is worse dialogue than the Gerard Butler ad from last year. I’m not so sure.

Comment by George

Gerard wins. But only thanks to a photo-finish.

Comment by Rob

Maybe it was authored by the same person. It certainly sounds like it was.

Comment by Lee Hill

A rare talent. Thankfully.

Comment by George

God, I sometimes really miss Bill Hicks.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

I miss being able to shoot people without having to explain why.

Comment by DH

is this one of those local ‘in’ ads where you have to know where it is to know where it is? It does seems to be a bit full of itself but im not sure why…

Comment by judyt54

Because it’s shit?

Comment by DH

At first, I didn’t realize it was Copenhagen, I thought it was about the “Meat Packing District” of New York, which 20 years ago was fucking great.You could sit outside “Florent” at 2.0 AM in the morning, eating tripe and chugging vin rouge, whilst watching the cruising transvestites and rats the size of dogs eating scraps out of the hot dog trolleys that would be on the streets of NYC in 6 hours. Now, it’s become “gentrified” and totally fucked up. I blame the planners.
Cheers/George “AdScam” Parker

Comment by George Parker

Town planners of course. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

But you’re right, it looks exactly like a NY thing … which means they’re attracting people who are “not different, like us” … they’re targeting wannabe sheep.

Comment by Rob

@Rob… Dead right. That’s why I was confused (whilst still sober!!!) Why the fuck do they want to homogenize communication to the point where you could be on the fucking moon rather than a Chinese Opium den… Ooops, sorry, don’t want to give away your filthy habits.
Cheers/George”AdScam” Parker

Comment by George Parker

I am in full agreement George. They were exciting times rather than contrived.

Comment by Lee Hill

You have to have some sympathy for the voiceover artist.

It must have been quite an achievement to have read that crap (in that very breathy and portentous manner) without actually vomiting into the microphone halfway through …

Comment by Ian Gee

I’d read a planner deck and sound like it made sense if they paid me enough. I’d want cash by the word, I’d make a fortune from the gobshites.

Comment by Billy Whizz

when the stratifesto becomes the idea. Here’s another bad one:

Comment by Stéphane Missier

I though you had more taste than to come on here mate. But thank you. I will be seeing you soon. Be afraid. Very afraid.

Comment by Rob

Lotta early Bob Dylan in that, from the gritty voice to the language and the pacing. But REALLY…dayglo lime shoes?

Comment by judyt54

It’s alarming to think how many readers of this blog were habituees of the Meatpacking district.

Comment by John

Obviously, Rob attracts transvestites and dog sized rats!

Comment by George Parker

Which one are you George?

Comment by Rob

You can even hear the Premium Beat audio watermark!

Comment by Rachel Chew (@rchewgum)

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