The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

You Can Have Any Colour As Long As It Is Blue …
May 22, 2015, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment, Walmart

Evil in more ways than one.

Mind you, Walmart’s definition of ‘freedom’ is pretty similar to American’s definition of freedom … where you are free to say whatever you want as long as it falls in line with what the majority say or believe or are told to believe.

Just ask the Dixie Chicks.

Seriously, the media talk about China’s lack of freedoms but they should look in their own neighbourhood. Especially given the whole Edward Snowden thing.

I’m sure I’ve written about it before, but years ago I was invited to speak at a Walmart conference in front of a bunch of their employees.

I listened to them self-congratulate themselves for about an hour before I was invited on stage.

Like an idiot, my opening line went something like:

“Has anyone considered that China actually owns Walmart given you are so reliant on them to make the products that you can sell so cheaply?”

OK, it was a stupid thing to say, but being dragged off stage – literally within minutes – wasn’t that smart either.

And it was at that point I realised that Walmart is as much of a cult as Scientology. And just as dangerous to society.

Talking of dangerous to society [how about that for a segue] …

Given it’s Friday and we all know no one in advertising works on a Friday [or arguably any day], you might want to watch this documentary on what Walmart are really like, versus what they try and pretend they’re like.

It’s a scarier horror story than The Poltergeist.


25 Comments so far
Leave a comment

that was your prefuckingpussy days. now youd start by saying how fucking pretty everyone in the audience was looking. sellout.

Comment by andy@cynic

To be fair to Rob, even if he did that he would still insult them. Birkenstocks do that to people.

Comment by DH

To paraphrase Rob, he could have a disagreement in an empty house.

Comment by Bazza

And still lose.

Comment by Billy Whizz

are you fucking kidding? hes the jammiest fucker alive. if he fell into a barrel of shit he actually would come out smelling of fucking roses.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’re right Andy. As a client said to me recently, I’m much nicer in the way I now deliver my insults. Ha.

Comment by Rob

but walmart are fucking scum. yeah they fuck up towns and screw over employees but the fuckers have ruined more of my fucking sunday afternoons than i want to fucking think about and for that they need to die. or at least pay the alimony to parasites 1 and 2.

Comment by andy@cynic

What’s always impressed me about you is how you don’t hold grudges.

Comment by DH


Comment by Rob

That dress code can’t be real can it? If it is, it’s both shit and brilliant. But brilliant only in a corporate pisstaking way. Surprised WPP haven’t adopted it.

Comment by DH

Everything they sell is blue which is good because it goes perfectly with how their shopping experience makes you feel. I’m here all week.

Comment by Bazza

Apparently it is. Not sure if it’s throughout the company, but at least one store certainly adopted that approach.

Comment by Rob

I once gave a speech to the Bentonville, Arkansas, Ad Club… Yeah, that’s where the corporate headquarters of Wal-Mart are… And they have a fucking ad club… Serious drinkers though. Anyway, driving in the 7 or 8 miles from the airport, every other building was a fucking church, all holy rollers and shit. No wonder they get pissed at every opportunity. And… Remember the movie “The Fly?” Early in the movie, the mad scientist who turned himself into a fly opened his closet, and he had ten suits, all brown, all exactly the same. He said it saved him time in the morning! Maybe Rob has ten identical pairs of Birkenstock s… Planner my arse.
Cheers/George “AdScam” Parker

Comment by adscamgeorge

Unfortunately you are right George and to explain why, I point you to this post:

Comment by Rob

My eyes. My eyes.

Comment by DH

Fuck… I am impressed… Not by your pathetic footwear, but by the fact you can drag up a nine year old post. I can’t remember what the fuck I did yesterday. Maybe the Fourth Reich Potato vodka has something to do with it… Oh, and get all your pathetic readers over to AdScam to see my review of one of the all time great books that sticks a pin in the social networking bullshit. Buy it, it’s cheaper than a packet of fags.
Cheers/George “AdScam” Parker

Comment by adscamgeorge

He doesn’t drink and he does no work. No wonder he can remember every rubbish post he has written on here.

Comment by DH

Oh dear.

Comment by George

Thank you for sorting out my weekend viewing Robert.

I remember your Walmart episode which is why I am confident this documentary will simply reaffirm I was right to be on your side when the drama unfolded.

Comment by Lee Hill

Bentonville seems to have pulled the plug on your video …

Comment by Ian Gee

Bastards. It worked this morning. Is my blog driving so much traffic it made them take it down? Sadly no. Bugger.

Comment by Rob

That must be it Rob because everything on here gets on the front pages of reddit and huffington.

Comment by DH

Eventually this will collapse. It has to. it’s sad, to the point of tears…

Comment by judyt54

Are you talking walmart or this blog?

Comment by DH

hush–we KNOW this is endless and eternal.

With luck, WalMart will implode

we have four (two super centers) within a 60 mile radius, and people have been known to sell their businesses the day Walmart started building a new store. in a city with population of 30K (which in a state like NH its the second largest) the entire downtown area is empty except for what used to be back street businesses: tatoo parlors, two pawn shops, two restaurants, a forutne teller, and two used furniture/ junk stores…Welcome to Wally world =(

Comment by judyt54

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