The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Thanks But No Thanks …
June 17, 2015, 6:20 am
Filed under: Comment, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!

Despite the amount of money I spend with them on things I don’t really need, I like Amazon.

Whenever I go on there to buy one thing, I end up with a bunch more simply because they have a knack of presenting me with ‘things I might also like to consider’ that I consider and then decide I want to buy.

That said, I don’t know if I would call Amazon a great brand.

They have a great product and offer great service, but my relationship with them is purely transactional.

They certainly don’t inspire any disproportional emotional response to them … and they’re probably perfectly fine with that.

Anyway, that’s by the by.

The reason for this post is that I recently was on their site [buying another daft book best suited to 5 year olds] when I saw this:

… if you can’t see what I’m talking about, how about this:

Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the importance of saving and the benefit of being able to profit from things you are never going to need/use again … but to offer me a gift card worth 34 cents – though they acknowledge this ‘offer’ may end up being lower than that amount – is a bit tragic, especially when it’s for a book I don’t even own.

I’d sort-of understand it if they had used books I had already bought from them.

I’d sort of understand it if their headline was, The book you want to buy could be free if you trade in these 3 books you bought from us 3 years ago.

But to randomly offer me a shit price for a book I don’t own doesn’t make me think Amazon ‘cares about me’, more like Amazon doesn’t understand who I am and just wants to get as much moolah out of me as possible.

Mind you, it it is the latter, they are doing an amazing job of it so far.


26 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You “appreciate the importance of saving money” so says the man who spends like Elton John meets Michael Jackson.

Comment by Bazza

Maybe he saves money because he gets all his stuff for free?

Comment by Pete


Comment by Rob

he fucking blags more than arthur daley and paris hilton. but he looks more like arthur daley which makes me feel better about how fucking unfair life is.

Comment by andy@cynic

This may be the best compliment/insult ever committed to the internet. Thank you. I think.

Comment by Rob

What is that supposed to mean Baz?

Comment by Rob

Robot animals.
More laptops than an Apple store..
Probably the world’s biggest birkenstock collection.
Houses around the world.
80+ t-shirts.

Shall I go on?

Comment by Bazza

Baz FTW.

Comment by DH

and by ripping me off, the fucker still basically got it free. good on you baz. you might be a little bastard but youre a bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

They’re investments, not vulgar displays of spending stupidity.

Comment by Rob

You must have bought or looked at that book at some time, because Amazon wouldn’t use a random book title. Nothing Amazon do is random.

Comment by Pete

Well I certainly didn’t buy it. I may have looked at it, but if they’re going to offer me a few pence of value for everything I’ve ever looked at on Amazon, then [1] they’re idiots and [2] I’m going to hope no one see’s the list of items.

Comment by Rob

Machine learning is a powerful thing and the amazonbot has rightly deduced that you have outgrown middle class problems. It’s trolling you.

Comment by John

Do you mean I now suffer from high-class problems? That’s awesome … when are Rolls Royce going to give me one of their cars so can whine about the cost of replacing the tyres then?

Comment by Rob

And having a great product and great service is so far beyond what most compnaies offer, it’s possible to argue that they don’t need to have an emotional appeal.

They’re a transactional business with which you have a transactional relationship. A very profitable relationship at that.
That’s all there needs to be.

Though, of course, the fact that you write about them and essentially recommend them means that you do have an emotional bond with them.

Comment by John

True … and I do recognise Amazon for that. Their ability to live up to the unspoken promise that ‘everyone deserves the right to have the products they want, regardless of where they live’ is genuinely impressive.

But I don’t know if I have an emotional bond with them. I respect them, but do I have emotional feelings towards them? Not so sure. And unlike you, I think that is possible, proved by the fact I respect you but don’t like you. Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

If you were indifferent about them, you’d be unlikely to write this post. But you did. Therefore, you’re not indifferent to them. Therefore, you have emotional feelings about them. QED.

Comment by John

as much as it fucking pains me, campbell is right. i like doddsy but i dont fucking respect him.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by John

look at the oldest fucking millennial in the village being all fucking passe.

Comment by andy@cynic

did you buy a wifi book? sad fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

You mean a kindle? I already have a bunch of those Andy … you’re so 2005.

Comment by Rob

better than being a 45 year old twat trying to recreate 1983.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH


Comment by cvnadagroup2017

Fuck the book with the shitty discount, what about the books you’re looking to buy. Freak.

Comment by Billy Whizz

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