The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

If It’s Too Good To Be True, It’s Not True …

With so many mobile devices telling the time, it’s no surprise that watch sales have been hit.

Well, the cheap to mid-range watches.

The high end – anything from US$2500+ – have been, in the main, doing quite well as they have evolved from time-keeping device, to item of jewellery and status.

OK, they’ve always been that, but with so many so many other symbols of status and wealth – like fashion or technology or cars – now being within the reach of many … expensive watches have become more desirable as people try to ‘differentiate themselves’ from everyone else who is trying to project an image that is neither true or affordable.


I think I wrote ages ago how I met a furniture designer in Miami who said IKEA had made the uber-wealthy embrace bad taste because, in their quest to separate themselves from ‘the common herd’, they were buying more outlandish furniture in a bid to look different from the semi-tasteful homes that IKEA now enabled most people to enjoy … something that was once the domain of only the wealthy and stylish.

That’s certainly seems to be the case with watches as they not only get bigger than a sundial, but look fucking horrendous in a bid to ensure people see it on the owners wrist. Something that is not difficult to achieve given it looks like you have a satellite dish attached to your arm.

Anyway, I digress.

The reason for this is because I recently saw this ad in an American men’s magazine:

Yes … it’s a poncy looking watch but get this, instead of costing US$1,095, they were letting you have it for only US$179.

WOW … that’s over an 80% discount.


How on earth do they do that?

Maybe because it was only that price for 12 seconds … just long enough to be able to justify that claim in an ad.

“But Rob, it say’s it has real diamonds in it?” I hear you cry.

Yes … no doubt industrial diamonds, worth about 0.0001 of a cent.

My favourite bit is that in the details, they say the strap is ‘solid stainless steel’ and ’18 carat yellow gold’.

Which one folks?

Or maybe – probably – do you mean it’s stainless steel made to look like 18 carat gold?

The bad news for the people behind this ad is that it screams ‘SCAM’ even though it’s trying so, so, so, so hard to project an image of suave sophistication.

Seriously, I feel so sorry for anyone who falls for it … they think they’ll be seen as something awesome, but really they’ll be seen as a cheap tool with delusions of grandeur. Similar – but totally different – to those pricks who spend $20,000 on the iWatch in rose gold.


While I mocked an ad that was trying to sell a similar bullshit watch ages ago, at least they had the good grace to admit it was a watch designed to fool others … but this one is trying to take itself so seriously, which all goes to show, if it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t.


37 Comments so far
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Errrrrrm, don’t you own a watch that is worth more than Greece?

Comment by DH

Hang on, my watch is an old casio and that’s worth more than Greece. Don’t you own a watch that’s worth more than Germany?

Comment by DH

its the fucking size of krautland.

Comment by andy@cynic

your shit is worth more than greece davey boy.

Comment by andy@cynic

people who wear fake shit and pretend its real are fuckwits.
people who wear real shit and are in debt are twats.
people who wear real shit and still have $s in the bank are thieves.
theres fucking proof you come from nottingham if i ever saw it campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

Ugly. timepieces that look like something borowed from the dashboard of a sportscar, no thank you. The best watch is the one that tells you the time where you are, without implying you’d rather be skydiving in Switzerland, or wherever…

Classy does not need to try this hard. Or at all.

Comment by judyt54

that explains why campbell is the opposite of classy. hes nottingham.

Comment by andy@cynic

He’s certainly trying.

Comment by John

The watch for wannabe gangster rappers.

Comment by Billy Whizz

And Donald Trump twats.

Comment by Billy Whizz

I’m confused Robert. If you are an idiot buying the exclusive Apple watch, what are you if you spend double the amount on an old analogue style watch?

Comment by Bazza

a double spending twatoholic

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m buying you this watch for Christmas Rob. It will suit you.

Comment by DH

best back handed compliment ive seen in a long fucking time. if you could write like that more than once every 20 years, you could write for variety magazine and add to their bitch sniping sycophantic bullshit.

Comment by andy@cynic

Given the most you’ve ever spent on me is the cost of a starbucks latte, I see this as a step up in our friendship.

I’ll give it away, you do know that. I’d actually sell it, but I know no one will buy it.

Comment by Rob

You didn’t think this post would be hijacked to become about your watch did you Robert? For what it’s worth, I think your overpriced, oversized watch looks nothing like the usual “look at me” brigade and I know it has sentimental value to you, which justifies everything doesn’t it. Enjoy it, now you have a child you will never buy anything over $9.99 for yourself again.

Comment by George

He already has and will continue to do so on a weekly basis.

Comment by John

I think you have forgotten who you are talking about George.

Comment by Bazza

I stand corrected.

Comment by George

No I didn’t. What was I thinking.

I shall adopt the PR ‘rule #1’ stance and just ignore it and pretend it never happened.

Comment by Rob

I have always been a great admirer of your watch Robert. I wish I could afford one.

Comment by Lee Hill

As for the watch, I bet it sold large quantities – just like the guys on Canal Street do a roaring trade in knock-offs and have done so for decades. The predominant nationality of the sellers changes over time, but the desire of enough regular people (not readers of this blog) to signal status via a watch will take a very very long time to dissipate.

Comment by John

Imaginary status.

Comment by Bazza

It always amuses me to see people flashing their LV or Rolex when it is plainly obvious they don’t have the real thing. If anything highlights their lack of status, it is pretending that they do. Then I think of Robert and as wonderful as he is, he doesn’t look like he has 2 cents to rub together yet he has a property portfolio that puts Donald Trump to shame. I think I have commented enough in this post to last a year so I will go home with my timex and remain quiet for the rest of the evening.

Comment by George

Yes, imaginary status. But imagined by whom? The wearer or the people he’s pretty sure will be duped? I’m “thinking” aloud here – not an area I know much about, but I’m sure there are commenters who do.

Comment by John

Yes, I agree George. As to your point John … I don’t know if it really fools anyone. I think it’s a bit like the Sixth Sense, everyone knows but doesn’t want to say anything as they don’t want to upset the other person. That said, 2 stories:

1. If you ever want to upset someone who you suspect has a fake, ask to hold it. Most of the time they will say no – or at least put up some resistance for fear of being rumbled.

2. When my best mate saw my watch, he immediately thought it was a fake. In fact, he continued to think that till Jill told him it wasn’t. Sadly, that says more about what he thinks of me than it says about him. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Actually, it says more about your and Jill’s respective credibility.

Comment by John

As for your assertion about fooling people. I wore one of those Canal Street fakes for a while, having received it as a joke Christmas present.

When people complimented it, I told them it was a fake, but nobody ever suggested it was.

Comment by John

that just says you have stupid fucking friends.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes it does. But then was there ever any doubt John?

Comment by Rob

I bought a few fake watches when I was in China. For fun. Costume jewellery. Not the cheap, tacky, battery-operated ones, but the heavier, mechanical versions. (Probably better described as ‘counterfeit’ rather than ‘fake’).

Reactions were interesting. Most laowais automatically assumed they were fake. My Chinese colleagues, even if they noticed, were too polite to ask.

I always cheerfully owned up if questioned. After all, the only person you can never fool is yourself …

Comment by Ian Gee

I once worked with a guy who bought fake versions of my real watch for everyone in the office. It was funny. Then I realised he was still wearing his – not to torment me, but because it made him feel good.

I got my revenge when we were in a client meeting and the client saw we wear both wearing a similar watch [I know … I know] so I said,

“You should look at _____. his is unique”.

Rather than call me a cheeky shit, my colleague went bright red which showed – at least to me – that as much as people may like the idea of ‘taking the piss’ with their fakes and counterfeits, they want to be in control of who/when people know rather than have someone ‘find out’ of their own accord.

Probably because the line between confidence and shame is very thin indeed.

Comment by Rob

Outing him like that says more about you than it does about him.

Comment by Ian Gee

I never said I wasn’t a bastard.

And sadly, neither has anyone on here who I know or have worked with. Hahaha.

Comment by Rob

Too much of this crap…

Comment by Thuymi @

Comments, bad watches or this blog?

Comment by Rob

haha watches and selling crap in general of course

Comment by Thuymi @

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