The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Happy First Granddad Birthday, Dad …
September 17, 2015, 6:25 am
Filed under: Dad, Family, Love

Today would be your 77th birthday.

I would have flown home.

Maybe I’d have surprised you.

Knocked on the door and waited for you to open it before announcing my surprise.

You would have been so happy.

You’d have said something like, “Well I never” … and then given me a big hug and a kiss.

Mum would have come to the hall to see what the commotion was about and would be so happy to see me.

I’d give her a big hug and a kiss and say how well she looked.

Then Jill would pop her head around the corner, with Otis in her arms, and shout “Surprise!”

You’d both be in shock.

The happiest of shocks.

You would push past me to give her a big hug.

For you Dad, it would be the first time you met her.

The first time you’d even know of her.

But you’d love her.

Not just because she’s wonderful, beautiful, smart and [occasionally] funny.

Not just because she makes me happier than anyone else in the World.

But because she loves me.

Knowing I’d found someone who I want to take care of and who wants to take care of your precious boy would make you so happy.

And then you’d both look down and see your grandson, being held in Jill’s arms.

I’d look at you both and smile to myself knowing how hard it would have been for you to welcome Jill before you got to Otis.

Your precious grandson.

The little man that, despite having never met him in person, was already someone you loved more than almost everyone else.

Except me.

And each other.

I would watch as Mum gently pinches his cheek and said, “Carina Carina” while you Dad, would kiss his head and said what a big boy he was.

You would stare at him for an age.

Commenting on his eyes.

His face.

His Michelin-man arms.

You’d introduce yourself as his grandparents.

I’d hear the thrill in your voice as you said it.

Granddad. Nonna. Words you’d patiently waited years to say.

And after giving Jill another kiss, I’d watch as you both slowly turn around.

As you looked at me, I’d see such pride on your face as you told me, “He’s beautiful”.

And I would feel the rush of emotion flood over me because I’d be so happy.

Happy that you’re both so happy.

Happy that we were finally all together.

Happy because I’d made you proud.

But sadly I know none of this will happen.

I wish it was because I know what would really happen is you’d grab Otis from Jill’s arms the moment you saw him, and kissed his cheeks over and over again. Then – before finally handing him to Mum to cuddle – you’d take him into the lounge and explain what all the beautiful flowers in the garden were.

But that’s not the reason, even though I wish it was.

The fact is you’re not here.

I’m not able to surprise you.

I’m not going to be able to watch you meet the family members you didn’t even know you had.

I know we’re not a religious family but I hope you will forgive me this moment of fantasy sentimentality.

You see while I can accept I’m not going to ever be able to play out the little scene I’ve just described, I need to believe you and Mum are now together.

Catching up. Hanging out. Talking and debating.

I know it’s ridiculous and I can see you shaking your head with a wry smile on your face, but it’s incredibly important to me.

Besides, after 16 years apart, it would be the best present you could have.

The best present you both deserve.

I miss you Dad.

Happy birthday.

Rx


16 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You are a beautiful man Robbie. Hugs and kisses.
Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

Please say it’s an accident you’re the first to comment Jem. The alternative is unthinkable.

Comment by DH

what the fuck are you doing jemma?

Comment by andy@cynic

Your old man would be proud of you. It’s also good to learn where you got your “me first” mentality from. : )

Comment by DH

You still have a better relationship with your parents than I have with mine.

Comment by Billy Whizz

happy birthday mr c. your son might be annoying but hes special.

Comment by andy@cynic

i notice you dont mention giving your dad a birthday present.

and dont try and fucking claim surprising him was it, you tight bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

You have a very special way with words Robert. You also have a special ability to openly express your emotions. Your father can look at you and know he did very well.

Comment by Lee Hill

If our 3 children love us half as much as you love your parents, I will think we are very lucky. Take care Rob and give your family a big kiss from all of us.

Comment by Mary Bryant

you have nothing to worry about but auntie g shouldnt feel too fucking confident.

Comment by andy@cynic

Happy birthday Mr Campbell.

Comment by Bazza

Thank you lovely people.

Comment by Rob

This is very moving Robert. Lovely and loving but also moving. He would be very proud of you for lots of things, but Otis would be the cherry on top. Hope today isn’t too hard on you.

Comment by George

xoxox

Comment by Katerina

Wonderful. As someone with two small children and who lost his father 25 years ago and his mother just last week, this got me. All the best Rob. You father would be proud of the some he raised.

Comment by Michael

Hi Michael. I’m very sorry to hear about your Mum – take care of yourself – and thank you for writing such a nice thing about me. I hope my Dad would be proud, I’d want that more than anything.

Comment by Rob




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