The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Forever England …
November 5, 2015, 6:25 am
Filed under: England, Home

When you have lived away from the UK as long as I have – 20+ years – you’d think you would have got over missing certain things from ‘home’.

Of course missing family and friends will always be there, but I’m talking about the little things … from television shows to food to events.

I remember how shocked I was when I discovered the UK had launched a new – and smaller – 50 pence piece while I was living in Australia.

I know in the big scheme of things, it’s nothing … but it really brought it home to me how long I’d been away.

Now I know that I can watch the television shows thanks to the power of technology and I can get chips, mushy peas and gravy anywhere … but to replicate ‘events’ is much, much harder.

I’m not talking Birthdays or Christmas – even though they will never be the same as they were when I was living in Blighty – I’m talking about the events that are uniquely British, from the Nottingham Riverside Festival to Pancake Day to, as it is tonight, Bonfire Night.

Each of these events have a lasting impression on me.

Yes, I know the Riverside Festival is basically a poor-man’s Goose Fair … and I appreciate I can have Pancakes every day if I so wish … but there’s something about those days that truly connects me to home.

Whether it’s the fact I would always see my friends, past and present, at the Riverside – normally while I’m stuffing an overpriced hotdog that had been heated to the surface area of the sun down my gob – or that Pancake Day would see Mum go into a mild panic as she looked around the house for the ingredients to make them [including orange juice, because I preferred that on my pancakes than Jif Lemon] … they were always very special days.

Which leads me to today. Bonfire Night.

While we never had fireworks at home – maybe a few sprinklers – the fact is we never needed any because we could stand outside our little garden and watch everyone else’s magical displays.

OK, so the reality is they were never that impressive – especially when compared to the organised stuff down at Trent Bridge Cricket Ground – but as a young kid, it didn’t really matter, because however bad the neighbours fireworks were, they were colourful and loud and that added something very different to my surroundings which, 99% of the time, would be quieter than a cemetery by 7pm.

Mind you, that lovely image is destroyed by the memory of Steven Stanley firing a huge ‘rocket’ up Greythorn Drive that – to our horror and relief – flew right underneath a car coming down the hill, only for it to explode seconds after passing the vehicle.

To say we got bollocked that night is a vast understatement.

But that aside, Bonfire Night is one of those nights that will be forever England for me which is why I’ll be watching this video and thinking of all of you later.


24 Comments so far
Leave a comment

yeah lets celebrate the failure of blowing up the government by burning an effigy of the fucker who gave it a good go and stand around laughing and burning our hands on shit sparklers and cooing over a crap roman candle that we got under the counter from mr singhs off license on the corner.

no one does shit nights out like england.

Comment by andy@cynic

I wish we had pitched for the British tourism account at cynic. This is brilliant.

Comment by DH

Tragically accurate.

Comment by George

by the way campbell, youre a sad, sentimental sicko.

Comment by andy@cynic

i like the sound of steve stanley. not heard about him before. its good to hear you talk about a childhood mate without mentioning how big his cock is.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

For your information, he hasn’t changed much in the intervening 30 years. Mind you, either have I. At least in terms of fashion and music. And maturity. Bugger.

Comment by Rob

Orange juice. On pancakes? That explains everything.

Comment by DH

Oh dear.

Comment by George

Bless your sentimental ways Robert.

Comment by Lee Hill

bless them? kill them.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thank you Lee.

Comment by Rob

No wonder so many of you limeys are in my country, yours sounds shitbox boring.

Comment by Billy Whizz


Comment by andy@cynic

Does this ring any bells?

Comment by John

And your TV sucks.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Didn’t you know John, it never rained in Nottingham.

Comment by George

I have never been to Nottingham, couldn’t find it on a map and fully intend to maintain that level of exposure.

Comment by John

That’s right George. Never.

Comment by Rob

That video makes me relieved America doesn’t have bonfire night.

Comment by Bazza

England. Celebrating failure since 1605.
(I had to look the date up. I’m not Dodds)

Comment by DH

I’m in charge of the fireworks tonight, what on earth could go wrong

Comment by northern

Speaking of nostalgia, I’ve just booked a seat in the first Star Wars showing. Obviously.

Comment by northern

a race for who is going to produce the biggest fucking anticlimax of the year. it will be fucking close, but as the casanova of the north, my money is on you northern.

Comment by andy@cynic

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