The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Pretend Helpfulness …

I get a lot of junk email.

Admitedlly not as much as when I was at cynic when Andy stupidly signed up at some ‘free porn password’ site that then inundated our inboxes with all manner of questionable material, but a lot all the same.

Many of the junk messages I get nowadays are marketing related, which is even more depressing than waking up each morning to an email box bursting with offers of dick extenders or sex with ‘hot and horny grandmas’.

What makes it even worse, is all of them are just shit.

Here’s a perfect example of what I get …

Rubbish isn’t it?

What makes me angry is they way they try and sound like they’re doing me a favour when all they’re actually trying to do is drum up some support for their conference, magazine or – in this case – webcast.

But there is one issue they have failed to take into account …

I DIDN’T ask for it.

I’d NEVER ask for it.

I have NO desire to know about it.

Maybe I’m biting my nose to spite my face. Maybe it will be super-interesting and informative … but if they don’t even know how to market to someone who is in marketing, I’ll take my chances.

Which leads to the point of this post.

Many people think marketing and advertising is about conning the audience into action.

Maybe that was once the case.

Maybe that’s what some companies still try and do.

But in my experience – and as one of the few ‘rules’ Wieden lives by – you don’t get anywhere unless it is founded on fundamental truth and so trying to engage me on a subject that I didn’t ask to know about and to not express it in a way that makes me see the personal advantage I’d gain from knowing about it … they’ve failed in every way.

EVERY. SINGLE. WAY.

Another example where people confuse alienating for marketing.


17 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Passwords to pornland was the only thing that kept me going those days. Now I have youporn.

Comment by Billy Whizz

finally some fucker sees my actions were purely fucking motivational.

Comment by andy@cynic

Only reason I stayed for so long.

Comment by DH

Was it called that? I thought it was ultra passwords XXX or something? Either way, it destroyed our bloody server.

And surely you mean Pornhub?!

Comment by Rob

Love those ‘next page’ buttons designed to be confused with ‘click my ad’ conning me into wasting three seconds of my life in a page I didn’t ask for

Comment by Northern

It’s late for you isn’t it Northern? Pitch or drinks?

Comment by Pete

too fucking right northern. you know the business is fucked up when it doesnt fucking matter if you did it by accident, stayed on their site for 2 seconds and hate them for trying to trick you, its classes as effective. wankers. fucking wankers.

Comment by andy@cynic

What are you doing up at this time?

Comment by Rob

Since you asked I was late back from a day at friend face (sorry Facebook) which was like being in the Truman show. Interesting they spent most of the time trying to convince us that TV was outdated and video on Facebook was more effective – then showed us their tv campaign

Comment by Northern

Oh the old “can’t see the wood for the trees” situation. Like those television brands that run ads on TV saying how great their picture is without realising that if people think it looks good on their shitty telly, why the hell would they buy a new one.

Comment by Rob

I equally dislike this sort of approach. I wonder how often it works? I know direct marketing agencies claim they can predict success more than any other form of marketing, but I still think their strategy is based on bombarding everyone with their message and hoping for the best. I know that is the same as many other forms of advertising, but at least they can be entertaining.

Comment by Pete

“equally dislike this approach”. when did you become a member of the royal fucking family?

Comment by andy@cynic

My secret is out.

Comment by Pete

Bet you’d be thinking differently if the email was from wifi weekly of gadget monthly.

Comment by DH

Of course it would … because I would have asked for those.

Comment by Rob

Someone taught the author of that email that you increase response rates by using capital letters on words you want the respondent to feel empowered by reading.

“How to Make Omnichannel Work for You”

Someone needs to tell them it doesn’t work.

Comment by Bazza

Ombishambles more like

Comment by Northern




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