The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Bugaboo Declare War On Me …
February 4, 2016, 6:15 am
Filed under: Babies, Comment, Marketing, Marketing Fail

I’ve written a bunch about my hatred of pushchair companies – hell, I wrote one just last week – but those bastards keep pushing me.

Just yesterday, I saw this …

If you think “The Pushchair” is boastful, wait till you read the body copy …

“Twenty years ago, we designed the World’s first modular pushchair so you and your youngest travellers could explore the World with absolute ease. Iconic, innovative and loaded with functionality, our pushchairs ensure a smooth and smart ride. Built to last, they can be endlessly upgraded to suit your mood, style or journey. Life is truly a great adventure …”

The way they go on about themselves, you’d think they’re selling a Land Rover rather than a fucking pushchair. Yes, a pushchair … something designed to simply transport a kid between home and some other place.

I’m not denying they are good products – I have one for Otis – but all this ‘explore the World’ bollocks does my head in.

Sure, you might take it with you when you’re on holiday but the way they go on, you think they are the tool for every adventurer … from Columbus to Bear Grylls.

I can see it now, Bear is stuck halfway down a mountain … the wind and rain is relentlessly battering his bodyΒ and he knows he has seconds to make a life changing decision.

Mustering the very last of his strength, he reaches behind his back and after a little struggle, pulls something out of his pack.

It’s an iconic and innovatively designed Bugaboo pram.

He’s saved!!!

By jumping into “The Pushchair” he knows he is now safe, warm and able to roll down the huge mountain side without any fear for his life.

Thank god for Bugaboo.

OK, I’m taking the piss, but they started it with their marketing bullshit.

And if they can be endlessly upgraded, can someone tell me how come they don’t offer an option to turn it into a car when the kid hits 17?

Given the cost of the bloody things, it’s the only way any parent will be able to help their kid buy a real set of wheels.

See, more marketing rubbish from the pushchair federation.

Bastards.


29 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I’m positive nobody reads long copy.

Comment by John

Still got your amazing insight George.

Comment by DH

Sharp as ever.

Comment by George

what you are trying to fucking say is nobody reads campbell fucking copy. short or long.

Comment by andy@cynic

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you may really loathe pushchair manufacturers. Or specifically, the people within their marketing departments.

Comment by George

Showing why you earn the outrageously big bucks, George.

Comment by Rob

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Comment by DH

well fucking said dave. campbell and aunties paychecks prove the world is fucking unfair.

Comment by andy@cynic

Gold

Comment by DH

Stoller.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Taveller.

Comment by John

No wonder they do things to piss Rob off. He keeps calling them by the wrong name.

Comment by Bazza

No Lieber?

Comment by Ian Gee

Bear’s never been stuck halfway down a mountain – he always has a hotel close at hand.

Comment by John

At least with the full Perambulator you could re-purpose the wheels as a risk fueled, brakeless downhill racing machine.

Comment by Chris

Bear is an accountant in outdoor gear so the stroller story could be true.

Comment by DH

It’s a bad day when you can’t make a comment on the right thread.

Comment by DH

Twice!

Comment by John

You need rest or a drink Dave.

Comment by Rob

Another evil is the Maclaren range of strollers. I thought they were part of the racing car team, built to appeal directly to Dad’s. But they aren’t. I wonder how many Dad’s realize that.

Comment by Pete

Yes … I must admit I thought they were one and the same. Not that it would have convinced me to buy one … though I did look for a camo-pram, but that is also because it was the only concession Jill was willing to make. I didn’t find one. I ended up with a bloody Bugaboo. Talk about them rubbing salt into the wounds.

Comment by Rob

Camo? Not wifi? Who are you?

Comment by DH

I don’t think my pushchair–‘pram’ Down Under–can be upgraded to suit my mood. That sux. I’m getting a Bugaboo.

Comment by Tim[othy] Collins (@rummychap)

Admit it Rob, you’re working for Bugaboo aren’t you.

Comment by Bazza

i fucking had a shit attack when i saw how much i had to pay for a pram (not a fucking stellar). all i wanted was a seat on wheels and these fucking shamen flogged me a palace that floated on jets of air. or thats what they fucking claimed it felt like. a hovercraft, a fucking hovercraft. twats.
and what did bonnie do in it? sleep. fucking sleep. if she wasnt so fucking beautiful and smart id be offended.
bugaboo make me fucking ill. for once i agree with everything in this post. enjoy the moment campbell, it wont happen again.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m going to print this out and hang it on my wall. Better yet, I’ll hang it on your wall.

Comment by Rob

i fucking dare you.

Comment by andy@cynic

Didn’t have to put up with this nonsense 20 years ago. A pram was a pram, back then.

Comment by Marcus

did you wake up cranky? i didn’t see anything in the copy worthy of that rant. it is boastful – yes…but it’s fucking marketing, not true confessions.

of course, as an American I don’t have that whole “tall poppy” issue with people propping themselves up.

if you don’t like it, don’t buy it. but can’t you find something more interesting to go on about?

Comment by Bernard




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