The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Nespresso Leaves An Utterly Repulsive Taste In My Mouth. And George Clooney’s Career.

I’ve written a lot in the past about celebrity endorsement.

While there are some great examples, there are – sadly – far more terrible ones.

While many happen in Asia – where Hollywood stars sell their credibility for millions of dollars in the knowledge that no one in their ‘home markets’ will ever see them, there are a few who make the sort of bad choices that makes Halle Berry’s post-Oscar film career look good.

Yes, I’m talking about that Gerard Butler bollocks for Hugo Boss.

But – and it’s a huge but – as terrible as that is, I’ve seen something worse.

No, I honestly have.

It’s so bad that it liberally covers the celebrities, the brand, the agency and the creatives who wrote it, in a big pile of shit.

And they deserve it.

Every last shit stain smelling nugget of it.

What’s surprising is it involves Mr Smooth … George Clooney.

Sure, he’s made some bad ads in his time, but this demonstrates an astounding lack of judgement.

Mind you, given the ad in question is for the brand that he has happily let undermine his reputation for years – Nespresso – it can be argued he is getting everything he deserves.

But there’s another celebrity in it. Jack Black.

While he was obviously hired to add some ‘pizzazz’ to a script suffering from terminal cancer … this once fresh, quirky, infectious ball of energy ends up looking like a man who’d appear in a bukkake video if it helped him make this months rent.

I know he’s not had the sort of success he enjoyed in the early days of his career, but surely things aren’t that bad?

Seems they are.

Why else would he – and Mr Clooney – agree to appear in an ad that is so crap, so nonsensical, so utterly lacking in charm, humour or interest that it makes Sarah Palin’s recent endorsement of Donald Trump look Oscar worthy.

No really.

And don’t get me started on the creatives behind it. Or the client.

If anything shows how some people think society is full of stupid fucks, it’s this.

Personally those responsible should be rounded up and charged with creating a weapon of mass insulting.

Christ, why haven’t the shareholders of Nescafe rioted?

Why are they OK that a company they have invested their hard money in, blindly chucked millions of dollars away on creating filth like this shit?

And the mad thing is Nespresso is a good product.

Sure, no one really needs it … but then no one needs an iWatch and that hasn’t stopped people going out in their droves to put it on their wrists.

For a company to go to such lengths to make a quality product – a product to change a category – and then market it in such a patronising and humiliating way must be devastating for those involved in its creation.

As much as you may think you know how much I hate this ad, I assure you that you don’t.

It literally makes my blood boil.

It’s horrific in every single possible way … right down to the clients obvious desire to make ‘What Else’ a cultural colloquialism, despite the fact it means nothing, could be for anyone and is utterly, utterly shit.

It represents the worst of this industry and the worst of clients standards and expectations.

Meaningless.

Unimaginative.

Contrived.

Simplistic.

One-dimensional.

Lazy.

Passive.

Beige.

Patronising.

Forgettable.

Ignorant.

Amateur.

I honestly hope every person associated with this shit has diarrhoea for a lifetime.

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, I present you with this giant cup of turd …


40 Comments so far
Leave a comment

What’s that sound? It’s Jack Black’s career rushing into the cellar.

Comment by DH

I rarely say this. But I agree with everything you’ve said. Worse, I liked everything you said. I need a coffee to calm my nerves.

Comment by DH

you need more than a fucking coffee. you need mental fucking help.

Comment by andy@cynic

campbell writes something half decent as regularly as hayleys comet appears. the good news is he did it today. the bad is we have 70 fucking years of his mundane planner shit to wade through before the next one.

Comment by andy@cynic

I will print these out and frame them.

Comment by Rob

This post should be read by everyone with marketing budget responsibility. Excellent points Rob, brilliantly written.

Comment by Pete

what the fuck was black thinking. clooney looks a wanker but black looks a fucking wpp middle manager trying to get down with the kidz at the christmas party. someone put him out of his misery with a shotgun.

Comment by andy@cynic

Jack Black hasn’t added pizzazz to anything in years. I didn’t click on the video because I still haven’t recovered from the first time I saw it on TV. One of the worst ever.

Comment by john

the only truthful thing this steaming pile of shit is anyone who plays croquet on a lawn are fucking inbred wankers. who drink nespresso. and they call the ad epiphany. too fucking right it is nespresso. you coffee cock twats.

Comment by andy@cynic

God, that’s terrible even by Nespresso’s terribly terrible standards.

Comment by George

You’re all missing the point, to spend that much money to make that much rubbish takes special talent.

Comment by Bazza

That’s such a tempting open goal.

Comment by john

leave it to me doddsy.

Comment by andy@cynic

that explains why youre so fucking happy with producing the iphone 6.

Comment by andy@cynic

I deserved that.

Comment by Bazza

I thought you were better than that Baz.

Comment by George

Nope.

Comment by DH

I thought you were smarter than that George.

Comment by DH

Whatever gave you that impression David.

Comment by George

Did you think Bazza was better than that in terms of making such a sarcastic comment or for opening himself up for ridicule? For what it’s worth, I absolutely did not think he was better than that for either possibility.

Comment by Rob

The gold standard was Dudley Moore for BarclayCard (Before all you wankers were born) The point is, the unwashed public doesn’t give a shit. All they see are the Celebs doing shit for money. But they are still Celebs. The women fantasize about being shagged by Clooney. Not sure about Jack Black… The point is… Don’t get worked up about it… Its fucking advertising. As I love to quote George Orwell’s definition on AdScam… “Advertising is the rattle of a stick in a swill pail.” Mind you, I’ve trousered lots of loot doing it over the years.
Cheers/George

Comment by George "AdScam" Parker

I believe the reason good people in advertising get so upset with terrible advertising is because they want things to be better than that. They believe things should be better than that. Yes, it may additionally be because it bursts their bubble regarding doing an honourable job, but I feel it is mainly due to them striving to do something good and they get disillusioned when bad seems to win all the plaudits. Personally I think the advertising industry needs more of these frustrated good people because they may be the only ones who can prolong its health until its inevitable death.

Comment by George

One of the saddest experiences I’ve had recently was going to speak at a Superbowl Advertising Review panel at the American Chamber of Commerce. Before things started they showed the audience the ads and they laughed heartily at all the terrible, terrible ones.

I get it … no one really cares about ads and the Superbowl is about mates, fun and laughs … but the lowest-common denominator stuff won out more than the [very, very] few good ones.

I totally get the ad industry can go up its own arse a lot of the time, but I also think targeting ‘base involvement’ is wrong too. It might get nods in a focus group, it might get a laugh on the screen … but apart from it not doing much for the longterm value for the brand you are representing, it just dumbs everything down which is rubbish for society, let alone for the ad industry.

Maybe I’m old. Maybe I’m naive. But as much as we have devolved into a ‘make it easy’ society, I still believe there are some people out there who want to be intrigued, challenged and engaged to a level where their brain is engaged for a nanosecond.

I’ll keep pushing that agenda, but then I am used to supporting lost causes … like Forest.

Comment by Rob

People who think are commercially more valuable to companies long term growth than people who don’t.

Comment by George

Wow, 20 comments already. Proof a bad experience is discussed more than a good.

Comment by Rob

why the fuck do you think you get so many fucking comments about this blog on this blog. its sucks the soul of hope out of every twat who reads it.

Comment by andy@cynic

You know you’re in trouble when your stars have say their own names …

Comment by Ian Gee

It sounds more and more like porn music in each execution… Which is a shame, because at least porn has a resolve…

Comment by Another Rob

“Nespresso gets you laid” Sounds like one of Rob’s briefs.

Comment by Billy Whizz

A smile gets you laid. I can’t understand why colgate told us to leave them alone.

Comment by Bazza

Still would have worked better than ‘the toothpaste dentists recommend’. Probably.

Comment by Rob

Reading the post, I began to wonder if you were being excessively harsh in your assessment. It does occasionally happen Robert. Then I watched it. You were not. Terrible.

Comment by Lee Hill

You have a Nespresso machine, don’t you?

Comment by Marcus

You think this advertising made me buy it? This advertising is one of the reasons we never use it.

Comment by Rob

No, I’m sure you would have never bought based on this advert. But your anger was a clear indication that you already had one. You’re ashamed to own it now.

Comment by Marcus

To be honest, I never use it. I bought it for Jill. Much to my companies ‘coffee snob’ culture shame, I prefer instant and coffee mate.

However she likes it. Though she likes it less after this ad.

Comment by Rob

I just can’t get over the fact that the capsules cost 1000% (yes, one thousand percent) more than normal ground coffee. But hey, that’s the price of “what else”.

Comment by Marcus

bet campbell gives jill 1 capsule for her birthday and 1 for christmas. presents sorted for the next 1000 fucking years.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s a good idea. I hate buying presents for people.

Comment by DH

You are right, its absolutely horrible! Just shows how the entertainment industry is losing its mind.

Comment by WritTrace




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