The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Now That’s A Big Cock …
March 14, 2016, 6:20 am
Filed under: Family, Friendship, Paul

As many of you know, my best friend in the whole, wide World is a guy by the name of Paul.

I’ve literally known him all my life and he is, for all intents and purposes, my brother.

I’ve written a lot about him on this blog.

I’ve talked about my childhood with him.

I’ve talked about how much he means to me.

I’ve talked about how he has been part of the best moments in my life.

I’ve talked about his propensity for stupidity. [Beyond just being my mate]

I’ve talked about how much I miss not being near him.

And yes, I’ve talked about the size of his penis.

Over the years I have faced a barrage of abuse and derision from those who comment on this blog about this.

Not – I should hasten to add – because you find it inappropriate, but because you think I have some sexual urging for him.

I don’t.

It is true that if I was gay, I’d happily marry him – but I’m not – so my love for him is purely in the friendship sense of the word, though I can’t say his feelings towards me are as innocent.

The point is, the only reason I mention it in posts is because he big ‘down there’ and when I write it, I’m simply stating a [jealous] fact … there is no other reason.

Anyway, to put this tittle-tattle finally to rest, I’d like to provide you with some empirical proof.

A few months ago, Facebook did a video for ‘Friends Day’.

On Paul’s, there was a photo of him kicking a guy out of a concert [he is a part-time security guy at festivals] and the Facebook video showed the comment I wrote at the time.

“Wanted your cock again? He’s only human I suppose”

I know … I know … I’m an immature, pathetic man, but there is a point to this.

You see by me writing this comment on Paul’s Facebook, it proves there is widespread acknowledgement that his ‘appendage’ is huge, but if you’re still in doubt, here is a photo of the comments Paul and I made after I watched his Facebook ‘friend’ video.

See … not only does Paul acknowledge it in words, he does it in emoji’s.

HE HAS A BIG COCK, THAT’S FACT … NOT MY FANTASY.

And with that m’lud, I rest my case while also accepting this might be the worst post in the history of all blog posts.

And it’s only Monday.

Now normally I would say ‘you’re doomed’, but you’re not.

NOT because you’ve grown immune to my rubbish.

NOT because you’re all big and strong.

But because I’m in Tokyo all week so I [probably] won’t be posting until Friday … which is handy, because that’s about as much time as you’ll need to get over today’s mental violation.

Sorry.


21 Comments so far
Leave a comment

This has to be classed as an act of evil. I mean the subject matter of this post and the fact you’re on another blagging “work trip”.

Comment by DH

theres worse things than being known for having a massive cock except when its your male mate doing the telling. agent the fuck away from him paul, it might already be too fucking late.

Comment by andy@cynic

Gold.

Comment by DH

All publicity is good publicity isn’t it?

Comment by Rob

no campbell. no it fucking isnt.

Comment by andy@cynic

bet the poor fuckers in tokyo think another tsunami has just hit. except this one does even more fucking mental damage.

Comment by andy@cynic

Isn’t Paul your sons godparent?

Comment by Pete

better than having a dad with the cock the size of a fleas dick.

Comment by andy@cynic

He’s Otis’ oddparent. Now you – and he – knows why.

Comment by Rob

Paul may be your best friend but I am not sure if he should feels the same towards you. However, as his publicist, he should be paying you a fortune.

Comment by George

I wonder what Paul thinks of all this.

Comment by Lee Hill

He probably loves it. Or should I say, he likes the bits that compliments his best assets, rather than the bits that highlights his moments of mentaldom.

Comment by Rob

has paul fucking defriended you yet campbell?

Comment by andy@cynic

Tokyo! I see two posible explanations – he’s training to be a geisha, that or he’s finally got into sumo school.

Comment by john

Or he’s just created the unique sumo geisha category.

Comment by DH

More likely gadget shopping in Akihabara.

Comment by Ian Gee

There are no words. None.

Comment by northern

I disagree. There’s a few 4 letter ones.

Comment by DH

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