The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Behold, The Worst Email Ever Received …
July 18, 2016, 6:20 am
Filed under: Marketing Fail

I’m back.

Trust me, I feel worse about it than you guys do.

I had an utterly amazing holiday…. utterly amazing … so I suppose karma wanted to make sure I was brought radically back down to earth by ensuring I got, as the post title says, the worst email I’ve ever received with – I kid you not – the worst first sentence ever written.


Cop a load of this …

Part of me feels I should be deeply offended to receive such a thing and then I remember this is a ‘direct marketing’ message and what it highlights is that as smart as computers are, they’re not as smart as everyone likes to think.

Just ask Microsoft.


14 Comments so far
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For the record Rob, I’m not sure you can feel worse about being back than I do.

Comment by DH

PS. Big thanks to Georgina Fitzgerald. It’s not what Rob deserves but I appreciate you trying.

Comment by DH

you’re more transparent than a fucking greenhouse dave.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

put it this way, if georgina was george i bet you wouldnt be so fucking supportive. youre just a posh fucking billy.

Comment by andy@cynic

I hate to say it Dave, but Andy has a point.

Comment by Rob

No argument. “I’m back” is unquestionably the worst first sentence ever written.

Comment by John

Not sure it’s the worst. It definitely is the most upsetting.

Comment by DH

welcome back campbell, i hope you had an amazing time.
by the way, nothing ive just written is true but i do fucking appreciate you not going in to detail of all the shit you did and blagged. that is fucking something i suppose.

Comment by andy@cynic

oi georgina. isnt the biggest pitfall about excel is having to fucking use excel.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thanks for making me feel so welcome.

Comment by Rob

Welcome home Robert. I trust you had a wonderful time and feel fully rested. I assume this means your future posts will be filled with greater amounts of venom than before. Something to look forward too.

Comment by Lee Hill

So, I read this long-ish copy and I still don’t know what they’re actually marketing to you or why they’ve elevated you to the status of average executive?

Comment by John

Welcome back Rob. Maybe you need another holiday after receiving that email, though I am confident you will be having one in a few days.

Comment by George

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