The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Distance Makes The Heart Grow Evil …

So Singtel – the Singaporean telco giant – have made an ad about long distance love.

I’m sure it’s meant to highlight how their technology can make even the greatest distances feel invisible … but for me, the story is actually about a guy who fucks his girlfriend from going after her dream job in New York by guilt-tripping her into going back to Singapore because he wants to watch the football on TV. Or something.

Now I know some people in Asia have some very screwed-up attitudes towards gender equality, but this is taking the piss.

Now I appreciate I might be going a bit over-the-top on all this, but for me, the endline shouldn’t be …

“For every moment between goodbye and hello”

… it should be …

Singtel: for men who pretend to be sensitive but are bastards.

Anyway, have a look and tell me what you think. I am sure Cindy Gallop will agree with me.

Who Is Worse?

… the person who invented these or who buys these?

I get the ‘novelty value’ of these, but – and I might shoot myself in the foot here saying this – if this product is still in existence in 18 months time, I will eat a packet of them. Or at least apologise profusely and buy 100 packs as punishment.

That said, I do like the ‘get your tweet printed on the pack’ idea.

Sure, it results in tongue-in-cheek bollocks like “Dude wipes are a lifestyle” and “For those who wanna dominate the day”, but in a weird way, that gives a packet of bloody tissues a bit of a personality.

Oh my god, what have I just said.

Tissues with personality. Kill me now.

Worse, having just checked out their corporate website, I’ve not only discovered they have been in business since 2012, but they got cash from a major investor.

Guess I’d better start practicing eating my dude wipes … which sounds even worse than they will probably taste.

Behold, The Worst Email Ever Received …
July 18, 2016, 6:20 am
Filed under: Marketing Fail

I’m back.

Trust me, I feel worse about it than you guys do.

I had an utterly amazing holiday…. utterly amazing … so I suppose karma wanted to make sure I was brought radically back down to earth by ensuring I got, as the post title says, the worst email I’ve ever received with – I kid you not – the worst first sentence ever written.


Cop a load of this …

Part of me feels I should be deeply offended to receive such a thing and then I remember this is a ‘direct marketing’ message and what it highlights is that as smart as computers are, they’re not as smart as everyone likes to think.

Just ask Microsoft.