The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I Don’t Want To Be A Member Of Any Club That Wants Me To Be A Member …

So a while back, I received this …

Now I have to be honest, I read it a few times and I still don’t understand what the hell it is going on about.

Of course, the fact they lied at the very beginning put them off to a bad start given none of my close friends work in advertising, let alone at Ogilvy .. but more than that, why would I even care about ‘where I ranked with my peers’.

Ranked based on what?

Hair on your head?

Birkenstock ownership?

Kebabs eaten?

If that wasn’t stupid enough, it then goes ultra-weird by talking about how I am comfortable mingling with ‘creative types’ and that the lifestyle we live is one the ‘mainstream’ crave … possibly because of a TELEVISION SHOW ABOUT A FICTIONAL AD AGENCY BASED IN THE 1960’S!!!




Then, to put the shit icing on the shit cake, they try and lure me in by suggesting my advice might be worth money.

Well guess what … it already is, I’m paid for my advice by clients. And while many of you may find that madness, it’s not nearly as mad as thinking a right-minded person would give me money for my advice on how to live.

And what advice would I actually give them?

The best takeout restaurant to order from?

The best IKEA furniture to buy when you’re too tight to buy something designer?

The average public transport costs to get to and from the airport?

Seriously, what is it about my life – or anyone else’s for that matter – that someone would find interesting, let alone willing to pay for.

And you know what, even if there was something … I’d rather shit in my hands and clap than be a part of this pretentious bullshit.

This industry is bad enough for being disconnected to reality without people actively trying to make it worse … and then there’s the issue that if someone is getting paid for ‘how they live’, that may influence them to live in ways that are not authentic, just because they think that will impress more people and get them more money.

Without wishing to sound horrible, the last people I’d like to spend my social time with are others in the industry.

Actually that’s not true.

The last people I’d like to spend my social time with are others in the industry who measure their value by being in the industry.

Everything about this email insulted me and I hope the people who are behind it – and are a part of it – leave me the fuck alone in future.


30 Comments so far
Leave a comment

But how will you rank among your peers?

Comment by John

dead fucking last.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’re can’t even mingle with words.

Comment by Billy Whizz

He dies a good job of mangling them though.

Comment by Bazza

* does, not dies. Then again…..

Comment by Bazza

Funny you mangled your words trying to accuse Rob of doing it.

Comment by DH

Karma strikes again.

Comment by Bazza

Until Rob is fired, karma is underperforming.

Comment by DH

Sucked in Baz.

Comment by Rob

But they are right that we crave your lifestyle of freebies and vacations. And if you don’t change your title to King of plans, you’re really missing a trick.

Comment by John


Comment by DH

Friends who hate Rob.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Can I have your password Rob. I can dirty their data with the information about my lifestyle. Shitty small apartment. Max & cheese. Game of Thrones. This blog.

Comment by DH

what the fuck are you talking about? thats still a massive fucking upgrade on campbells life. minus all the fucking holidays and freebie shit and how are they going to sell that info to anyone? not much fucking commercial value being told “ba a jammy motherfucker.”

Comment by andy@cynic

remember that pretentious purple list bollocks from psfk a few years ago? neither do i so its fair to fucking say this shit will go down the same road as that shit. the only people who are envious of ad people are people who are junior ad people and they dont have any spare fucking cash to hear the lies and bollocks of their fucking bullshit “community”. everyone who has something to do with this needs to die. now.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh yes. I was invited to join that too which is why that probably failed too.

Comment by Rob

The idea is questionable. The choice of name is unforgivable.

Comment by Lee Hill

‘Poop’ is old US slang for inside information. Perhaps they should call this ‘Poopscoop’?

Either way, it’s a shit idea.

Comment by Ian Gee

The name is even worse than the idea and the idea is terrible.

Comment by Pete

So, enough of this nonsense. What do we all think of the Kenzo perfume ad? Is it your favourite perfume ad ever and, if so, what sort of person are you that you previously had a favourite perfume ad?

Comment by John

kenzo is a fucking great ad. for spike jonze.

Comment by andy@cynic

In the sense that he ashes up videos he made 15 years up with more recent Sia videos.

Comment by John

I like this because it validates my “sustainable presentation” strategy that I’ve adopted for the past 20 years.

Comment by Rob

Is that planner speak for one trick pony?

Comment by John

Yes. It’s quite a compliment to me that you even had to ask that, I would have thought you’d would have thought that obvious.

Comment by Rob

I was commenting on your ability to make the obvious opaque.

Comment by John

Who would want to live the life of a UX designer?

Comment by Pete


Comment by DH

The Marketing Director of Harley Davidson was once asked what his brand was for. He said: “We sell the ability for a 43 year old accountant to ride into a small town and have people be afraid of him”.

Comment by Ian Gee

That is brilliant. It’s also someone who is well aware of both brand reputation and their real audience.

Comment by Rob

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