Filed under: Comment
I remember my Mum asking me what I thought we were all here for.
That was a pretty heavy question over cornflakes, so I am sure I spluttered out some rubbish.
But she didn’t.
As I wrote here, Mum had a clear point of view on what she thought it was.
Now I am a father, I think she was right [as usual] however I recently read a comment in a newspaper [yes, just like I did earlier in the week] that I think expresses a wonderful way to approach life.
Before I get to it, I should point out the persons comment was in relation to an article about divorce, however even though the bit that grabbed me was only 12 words long, the overall comment is pretty good.
Here it is …
So the bit I loved was when they said this:
We are all passing through and wondering what it’s all about.
I love that.
I love that it frees you to make mistakes … try things … explore and experiment.
The reason I am writing this post is because I just freak out how many people I know pretend they’ve got it together.
Well, some of them are not pretending – they really think they have – but life isn’t linear and while some are born into a lifestyle that affords them greater control than the rest of us, the majority are all wandering and wondering.
When I lived in Australia I lived with a fantastic housemate.
She was Canadian and worked for a tech company.
She got paid A FORTUNE … and I remember her telling me her plan.
She was going to stay in her role for 2 years, get promoted to a very specific job and then do that for a about 3 years and then either get transferred back to Canada in a senior leadership role or get headhunted for one of 3 other companies that she was prepared to work for.
I must admit at the time, I was both impressed and intimidated.
Impressed that someone could have their shit so together.
Initiated because I didn’t and never have.
[FYI, her plan didn’t end up working out. Well, it did, but in a totally different way]
As I’ve written before, my parents always wanted me to live a fulfilled, rather than contented life, and as part of that they have always encouraged me to follow what excites and intrigues me. That didn’t mean they would be OK with my flitting from thing-to-thing, however if there was something that I truly loved and I committed to it, they’d be fully behind me, even if it meant I’d never be that lawyer/doctor/orchestral musician they’d of loved me to be. Ha.
While there’s been the odd bit of stupidity, I’ve tried to follow that approach and want to continue doing it even though the needs of my beautiful son now become a driving factor in our decisions … but contrary to what many may think, there is no plan and there has never has been a plan … and while I accept I’ve been very fortunate in so much I’ve done, those 12 words finally let me feel I’m not an idiot for choosing this path and I hope it helps the countless other people I know who are going through life looking without really knowing what they’re looking for, other than to feel that they have lived and that they have mattered – whether that’s to many or to just one.
Have a great weekend.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Babies, Empathy, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
So this is going to be a weird post, but it’s an important one.
You see a few weeks ago, my wife wrote this …
“As I nursed my baby into toddlerhood I noticed a shift in the messages from outside voices. From supportive and encouraging in the newborn days to surprised, questioning or doubtful once he was a walking, talking toddler.
I like to think that most people want to help with their comments or advice, maybe they worry that our ‘extended’ nursing could somehow impact negatively on my son, after all, it’s not what most people do… Dependence seems to be something a lot of them are concerned about.
I want to show them how my beautiful, sweet, spirited, glorious little boy greets the world (and taxi drivers) with a wide smile or a cheeky ‘Ni Hao!’… how he chants ‘run, run!’ as his still chubby legs stride ever faster down little hills … how he bops and boogies to every kind of music, at every opportunity, in every environment … how he sometimes forgets to even look back to find me because he’s exploring his amazing, ever expanding world … but I guess they’re not completely wrong about him being dependent on me.
He depends on me for comfort, safety, security & connection when he’s sad or tired or hurt or frustrated or overwhelmed. As long as nursing provides this place of refuge for my precious boy I’m ecstatic I can be there for him. So I want those out there who question or doubt or suspect to know, we’re doing great thanks, our version of dependence is exactly as it should be …”
OK … OK … so she writes much better than me, but the fact is, I have been shocked how many people feel they have a right to be a judge on my sons upbringing just because they have their own child.
I accept most of them do it in a well-intentioned way [and fortunately, most of our friends have said, “the best rule to parenting is to only follow your rules and ignore everyone else”] but there has been more than a few – often relative strangers – who have used a judgemental tone or look when they’ve discovered we don’t agree with letting our son ‘cry himself to sleep’, let alone play with dolls or dance whenever music is on.
But here’s the big thing …
Given 50% of Otis is from me, the fact he is turning out to be such an amazing, wonderful little boy means it is 100% down to how Jill.
What she wrote is not an attempt to say ‘our way is the right way’, the purpose of it is to remind people that we have the right to decide what is the right way for us.
But what I find even more amazing is that given how well Otis is turning out, those who challenge our approach are trying to find fault in perfection … so I’d just like them to do me a favour and be an expert on their children, rather than other people’s, though this ‘know when to talk and know when to shut up’ could apply to far more than just raising children as I am sure many of you can appreciate.
Filed under: Brand Suicide, Brilliant Marketing Ideas In History, Comment, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Culture, Cunning, Fashion, Marketing, Marketing Fail
For anyone who thought my post last week about Titty&Co was a pisstake …
I cannot wait for the launch of their mens retailers, Bollocks&Brothers.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Culture, Experience, Marketing Fail, Standards, Talent
OK, so before I begin, not all headhunters are lazy fucks.
I have met a few who take a genuine interest in your career and offer advice – as well as guidance – in how you can, and should, move forward.
This involves taking a real interest in what makes you tick … some tough love … and a real desire to match your talents and quirks with an organisation who values the person as much as the job role.
But there’s not many of them.
Sadly, there are far more who are like this …
This is how I responded …
Then – realising their mistake – they tried to make amends, except they showed they completely missed the point …
To which I ended the conversation with this …
Seriously, what the fuck is going on with the recruitment industry.
Yes, I know this is the worst of it, but sadly there are far more of these lazy bastards than there are truly professional headhunters.
Why on earth would a company use them if they know they are paying for someone to randomly email folk on Linkedin.
Of course, the reason is because a lot of companies don’t really care about who they hire for their organisation as long as they sit down, shut up, do the job and can be replaced quickly.
There are some headhunters I would help.
Headhunters who I have got to know – and been helped by – for years.
Headhunters who see the person before the commission.
But to some random person from the internet who is too lazy to actually do their job properly … well, they can fuck off.
For all the talk of ‘talent being a companies most important asset’, it is increasingly obvious that speed is much more highly regarded, which is why I decided not to name and shame the person who sent me this, because ultimately they are simply a pawn in the whole seedy industry … an industry that seems to be doing an even better job than adland at turning itself into a commodity.
Filed under: Comment
… giving a present.
No, I don’t mean ‘being present’ in the moment.
I literally mean, receiving a present.
Yep. Forget all that guff about emotions and a lifetime together, if you don’t give someone something from ARTE, then you’re destined to live a life of loneliness and solitude.
Also known as ‘Billy’.
Mind you, even that isn’t as bad as this blast from the past.
Honestly, I still find it amazing they did it.
Didn’t do it again though …