The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


They’re Nuts. Literally And Figuratively …
September 20, 2016, 6:20 am
Filed under: Brand Suicide, Crap Campaigns In History, Egovertising, Marketing Fail, Wankers

OK, so from an ethical point-of-view, the ad I featured yesterday is waaaaaaaay worse given smoking will kill you rather than help you live a ‘full-on’ life … but in terms of marketing bullshit, this has to take the gold medal.

The smartest praline in the World?

What the hell were they thinking!

Another campaign that says more about the client than the audience.

Seriously, how many more times are companies going to confuse marketing with lying?

Of course they will say they’re just exaggerating or using creative licence … but the fact is, it’s bollocks packaged to satisfy the ego of the client.

While some may say that is a smart way to keep the client on side, the reality is that once the sales figures come in – or the lack of them – they’ll soon forget who told the agency to make such a ridiculous claim and put the business up for pitch.

And if by some grace of god, the sales figures do come in … then the client will take all the credit for their genius [when the likelihood is it’s their distribution power that they should be thanking] and the agency will forever be at the clients whim … that is until the their demand for ever-reduced fees means they literally cannot carry on as they are going.

And everyone loses their job.

Maybe.

Seriously, when I see stuff like this, it literally makes my blood boil over.

Not just because it undermines the industry. Not just because it turns more people off than on. Not even because it means the people with talent are getting held back by the people who will do whatever gets them a pat on the head. But because chocolate is wonderful and lovely and deserves work as charming and emotional as this little spot we recently made for Milka.

FYI: I’m not slagging off Ferraro because I work with Milka. I really like Ferraro chocolateI’m slagging them because this whole ‘smartest praline in the world’ is ridiculous.

But it gets worse.

You see after a bit of searching, I finally tracked their ad down – or at least the German execution of it – and guess what … it didn’t even have anything to do with praline’s, let alone ‘smart ones’, which means it’s even more marketing bollocks than I originally thought.


27 Comments so far
Leave a comment

this is when your blog is just about fucking acceptable to read. its also when’s im as happy as fuck to not be doing adland shit anymore. but that milka spot is very fucking nice. betting some euros were behind it.

Comment by andy@cynic

Adlands loss. I mean that, I’m not even creeping.

Comment by DH

There were. Germans.

I’d say your deduction was impressive until I realised an ad filmed without car chases, shooting or shouting makes it obvious it wasn’t an American team.

Comment by Rob

and if those fuckwits at ferraro have invented the smartest fucking nut in the world theyve offset it with hiring the biggest twats.

Comment by andy@cynic

Anti-marketing.

Comment by George

You have mastered Sir Martin Sorrell’s ability to destroy competitive behavior in such a way as to add greater shine to your own work.
Unlike Sir Martin, your work is worthy of it.

Comment by George

He hasn’t done the classic, “I’m not going to talk about _______” and then proceed to talk about something in detail. Only a matter of time I guess.

Comment by DH

I’m not sure if this is a compliment or an insult and I’d rather not be given any clarity either. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Have a guess.

Comment by DH

I never want to eat anything by ferraro again. But I will. Those roche’s are Morris little packages of gold.

How can someone who makes chocolate so right make marketing so bad?

Comment by DH

Probably the smoothest train ride in the history of physics.

Comment by John

Maybe they were in Singapore. Nothing happens in Singapore. ; )

Comment by Pete

If the nuts were that smart they would find a way not to be eaten.

Comment by Pete

Flake ads have a lot to answer for.

Comment by John

soft porn for adolescent boys. now thats a fucking strategy all you planner fuckers.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes it is …

Comment by Rob

Fur dich.

Comment by John

Here you go John.

Interesting Queen connection … the model in the ad is one of Roger Taylor’s ex-wives.

Comment by Rob

Remember its Ferrero – they’ve got form.

Comment by Ian Gee

a fucking classic of shitness. but now compared to their fucking smartest nuts in a train bullshit, its pretty fucking good.

Comment by andy@cynic

Of course, they weren’t always so crap. John Webster did this for them in 1975.

Comment by Ian Gee

I love Tic Tacs … but the best thing about them was when Arsenal’s manager, Wenger, said Kevin Keegan – then Newcastle manager – thought tactics were a small confectionary he liked to eat.

Comment by Rob

“The smartest praline in the world” is a sequel of “the longest praline in the world”. In Germany they’ve done this for ages. So now they’re trying to be more contemporary.
But you’re right the “praline + some superlative” is bullshit anyway.

Comment by Felix

Oh my god, you’ve just made my day. This is part of a long-running campaign? What next, the sexiest praline in the World. Oh god, they’re even worse than I thought … thank you Felix, thank you so so much.

Comment by Rob


If your German is not that perfect: it’s a poor guy trying to impress his fancy girlfriend. First he aks if she would like some candy bar, but she is too snobbish for that. so he comes up with the idea of the longest praline in the world, which she totally buys. So in a way he invented “rebranding”.

Comment by Felix

Longest lasting praline comes next.

Comment by John

that better be a fucking euphemism or someone at ferraro and their agency needs their fucking head kicking in.

Comment by andy@cynic




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