Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Brand Suicide, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Daily Fail, Daily Mail
I always thought the ghosts and ghouls of Halloween came out on the night of the 31st October, but the Daily Fail … I mean, Daily Mail … have shown me I am wrong in that assumption with quite possibly the most pointless ‘news story’ that they have ever printed.
Yes, I know you might find this hard to believe given they’ve printed such gems as how to get the Kim Kardashian look or the cat that looks like Tom Selleck or the lion that looks like a cartoon lion or, not forgetting, z-grade reality star almost steps into a puddle … but this is worse. No really.
Are you ready?
Are you peeping out from your bedsheets?
OK … so here we go.
Jesus Christ …
I know England is footie-mad but even the most devout Man United fan is not going to give a shit about this … especially given black t-shirts and jeans are about as common as getting mugged by an acne-ridden, drug-taking, 17 year old scamp in Manchester city-centre every Saturday night.
Seriously what next?
Is it even feasibly possible to go any lower?
Paul McCartney runs out of toilet paper?
Ice-Cube adds ice cubes to his drink?
When you think of some of the great journalists out there and all the trials and tribulations they have gone through to bring their important stories to the World, the Daily Mail pisses over all their efforts and legacies … and given the Mail website is one of the most visited places on the internet, that means the fashion of some footballers is going to be the topic of more people’s conversations than the state of the World.
And if you want something scary to think about this Halloween, you can’t get scarier than that.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Culture, Experience, Management, Planners, Planning, Ros, Wieden+Kennedy
So today is a happy/sad day for me because I wave goodbye to my wonderful colleague Ros.
I’ve had the distinct pleasure of working with Ros for the last 2 years and I can honestly say, every day has been memorable.
OK, so part of the reason for that is that apart from being very talented and passionate, she is one of the most inappropriate people I’ve ever met … and let’s face it, I know a hell of a lot of inappropriate people.
Even more shocking is she is from the land of ‘nice’ … Singapore. What the fuck?!
And yet, despite her incredibly tasteless jokes, her excellent range of swearing and her ability to start a client presentation with the words, “don’t judge us before you’ve heard us” … she is a fantastic human being and a wonderful planner who everyone – even the clients she [cheekily] berates – love.
I’ve adored every moment I’ve either worked with Ros or watched Ros in action and nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing her continue her exploration of what she is capable of doing and being. Even more so that she’s taking her fiancé – and Wieden colleague – Hiro with her.
[The man I saw her sheepishly walk out from behind a bush on Wieden’s rooftop garden with]
So to 72&Sunny Amsterdam, look after her … and by that I mean don’t turn her into a happy, positive person because apart from the fact that would mean you’re into ’brain washing’, it would also mean you’re stopping her be as brilliant as she can be.
Thank you for everything Ros, I’m super proud and excited for you.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Communication Strategy, Experience, Management, Media, Perspective, Standards
Many of you may have already read this, but a while back, Politico magazine wrote a long – but fascinating – article about the moment George W Bush heard about 9/11.
What makes it especially interesting is they talk to people who were with him that day … from his Chief Of Staff, to his security detail to journalists to the pilots of Air Force One and the F-16’s sent to further protect the plan.
It is an amazing insight into one of modern histories most defining moments as well as being a wonderful lesson in how to give direction to chaos rather than letting chaos direct you.
You can read it here.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Taboo Categories
A long time ago I wrote about a gum that was designed to stop teenagers whacking off.
Then there was the soap that supposedly made you a virgin again. Or something.
However before you think the ‘anti-sex’ brigade have the monopoly on stupid and ineffective products … don’t forget Vulva aftershave, the scent designed to make men smell like a vagina. A sweaty vagina. Oh how I wish I was joking.
Anyway, I say all this because recently a friend sent me this …
I am hoping he sent it to me because he knew I’d find it amusing, but seriously look at it!
I must admit, when I first saw it, I thought it was a joke but then I visited the URL and it went to a real place.
Now I have to be honest, having read it – I literally don’t know if it’s true or a parody.
If it’s true, it’s hilarious. [And a teensy bit scary]
And if it’s a parody, it’s absolutely brilliant. [Check out the ‘Family Fun’ link]
But here’s the thing, that ‘ad’ states that you can never climb the ladder to heaven if your hands are full of penis.
Despite my best friend being the proud owner of a penis that could easily be mistaken for an international ballistic missile, I’ve never had any penis size issues but I might now if this organisation say’s that the average penis requires 2 hands to control.
Or maybe that’s just people who are going to go to hell.
Which – if it is – is the best ad for sin I’ve ever seen.
Besides, there’ll be more interesting people there … not to mention all my friends.
PS: I promise the blog posts get better this week. Eventually.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Communication Strategy
It’s getting cold and rainy.
You are stuck in your cubicle.
So, because I’m so kind, I thought I’d cheer you up by letting you join in The Kennedys assignment and feeling challenged and fulfilled.
And what’s the assignment?
It’s what that picture at the top of this post says.
Over to you …
PS: Even Mr Dodds can’t say this copy is ‘too long’. Then again …
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Crap Products In History, Cunning, Devious Strategy, Egovertising, Fake Attitude, Innovation, Marketing Fail
There are a lot of people who think that in the digital age, nothing can be kept secret.
Maybe they’re right, but that doesn’t hide the fact that some people can keep their secret from being found out for a pretty long time.
Case in point is Elizabeth Holmes – the much lauded, self-made billionaire of biotech start-up Theranos.
That’s her in the photo.
While many have written about her, her story is really one about confidence.
Or should I say the dark side of confidence … both in terms of how she used it and how many fell for it. That said, it is also a story about the fear of missing out and how cash can blind the judgement of many otherwise sensible people.
[But, fortunately, not all]
It’s a truly scary story though I must admit, the thing that shocked me most was learning there was a guy in the US – admittedly a Brit – who had never worn a pair of jeans.
Anyway if you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to read it … it’s a modern day version of the Emperor’s new clothes.