The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Stop Marketing Bollocks …
July 7, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Crap Campaigns In History, Marketing Fail

So I was in a shop recently, looking for a bike for Otis, when I saw this …

Can someone tell me what a ‘Limited Lifetime Frame Warranty’ is?

You can’t have a limited lifetime, just like you can’t be half pregnant. You either are or you’re not.

OK, there is the odd exception … mainly when governments are involved.

For instance I have permanent Australian residency, except they make me renew it each year … but we all know governments never make sense so I’m willing to let that pass.

What’s worse is that messaging was proudly displayed on the box … like they thought it was a good thing.

A. GOOD. THING.

What the fuck were they thinking?

What that sign actually says is ‘don’t listen to a word we say’ … which is true of so much communication these days, which begs the question, who is this sort of oxymoron marketing designed to actually appeal to – an increasingly cynical audience or an egotistical client?

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25 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I used to love all the signs in Asia saying “genuine fake”.

Comment by Pete

Which is more honest than all the food labelled “natural ingredients.”

Comment by DH

Or fat free and ignoring the 30% of sugar.

Comment by DH

Or insurance companies that promise to pay out if you have an accident but find a way to say your accident doesn’t fit in with their rules.

Comment by DH

When I finally realized that our term life insurance policy came due

Comment by judyt54

dang try again
in twenty five years (when we would both be in our nineties, we decided it wasnt worth the wait…

Comment by judyt54

You’re rivalling Rob for hate today.

Comment by Pete

I’m impressed Dave and you know how rarely that happens, especially where you are concerned. Ha.

Comment by Rob

A counter view is that it is very honest. I don’t know what the frame is referring to, but I assume it is an item that is exposed and so prone to physical damage. If I am correct then an unlimited warranty would be financial suicide and so placing some limitations to avoid normal wear and tear seems perfectly acceptable to me.

Comment by Lee Hill

Spot the lawyer.

Comment by DH

Limited warranties apply to parts of the product as opposed to the whole thing.

Comment by John

Yes … and the part is the frame.

Comment by Rob

Manufacturing defects versus wear and tear. Though obviously they’ll try to pass off a manufacturing defect as wear and tear.

Comment by John

That’s my argument destroyed.

Comment by Pete

It’s legal bollocks not marketing bollocks.

Comment by John

Thanks Lee. Thanks a lot.

Comment by Rob

If only this blog had a warranty.

Comment by John

It does. If any of the posts fail to insult your intelligence, then you can sue. Safest warranty ever written.

Comment by Rob

So if I praise you for your insight, I can then sue you succcessfully?

Comment by John

You are in trouble then Robert, because I like this post. I also like Lee’s clarification, though I agree with John that the company will claim any defect comes from wear and tear.

Comment by George

You have enough money George.

Comment by Rob

I’m not.

Comment by DH

I once bought a ‘lifetime’ membership in Golden Wing, the Ansett Airlines’ club. They went broke. I never considered the prospect that I could outlive the airline …

Comment by Ian Gee

I haven’t heard that name for a long time.

Comment by Lee Hill

Lifetime warranty on the bike frame. With caveats. What a hoot. I wonder if it means many children could use it, one after the other. Whose lifetime? The purchasers, perhaps…

Comment by arlingwoman




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