The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I Know They Say Too Much Coffee Can Be Dangerous But This Is Ridiculous …

When I was younger I loved pocket knives, especially swiss army knives.

Not because I was a mugger – though I am from Nottingham – but because I found the way all the different elements came together in one small package, fascinating.

While I have grown up since those days [as have Swiss Army Knives, judging by this monster] I still find my eyes drawn to them when I see them, which is why this caught my attention.

But then, I looked a bit closer and saw it was a special edition.

And then I looked closer still and saw it had a picture of something that looked like a bloody Nespresso pod on its blade.

There’s a simple reason for that, because the image is supposed to be of a Nespresso pod, because this knife is made from recycled poncey coffee pod packaging.

I have to be honest, I didn’t know what to make of this.

Without doubt, one part of me thought it was bloody awesome, and yet another part of me hated it because by pointing out the specific material they recycled to make their product, I felt it was some sort of ‘official’ alliance and suddenly it was less about helping the earth and more about exploiting it.

Of course I knew I could be wrong – as I usually am – however when I looked into it, I found this descriptor on the Victorinox website:

“Two Swiss innovators, one directional collector’s piece. Meet the Pioneer Nespresso Livanto: a Swiss Army Knife with sustainability at the heart of its design blueprint. The second limited edition from this unique collaboration between Victorinox and Nespresso, it fuses a solid eco conscience and heritage with intricate engineering. This utility piece features scales crafted from 24 recycled coffee capsules in a striking bronze hue. It’s where green living meets coffee culture and intrepid adventure.”

… and in an instant, Victorinox and Nespresso left a horrible taste in my mouth, even worse than their coffee but – thankfully for them – not as bad as their ads.


21 Comments so far
Leave a comment

the only reason youre fucked off is because it doesnt have wifi.

Comment by andy@cynic

Not the only reason. But one of them.

Comment by Rob

you loved pocket knives? fucking freak.

Comment by andy@cynic

He might as well say he likes killing people.

Comment by DH

Well I do only like video games where I get to shoot real people rather than aliens.

Comment by Rob

Maybe you can use the knife to kill the nespresso ad team.

Comment by DH

Swiss innovators. Is that like the Swiss banks who found ways to keep the Nazi’s money safe from the regulators?

Comment by DH

nice fucking use of cultural stereotype bullshit.

Comment by andy@cynic

To be fair, the Swiss do pretend to be nice, gentle, peace-loving souls when we all know they are peddlers of exploitation. Allegedly. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

youve turned into a 1970s shit comedian.

Comment by andy@cynic

The product is OK. The explanation of it is awful.

Comment by George

I’m not surprised. Every time I’ve drunk nespresso my throat has felt something sharp has gone across it.

Comment by Bazza

They deserve an award for using “sustainability” and “limited edition” in the same sentence.

Comment by Chikashi


Comment by Lee Hill

dont know who you are chikashi but thats the sort of cynicism that makes me like you.

Comment by andy@cynic

That is such a good point.

Comment by Rob

It’s really a master stroke in greenwashing. The problems the premium-priced crap they call coffee causes is the antithesis of sustainability, even the guy who invented the pods regret it.

Comment by Chikashi

not as bad for the planet as this fucking blog shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

In terms of CO2 emission, you might be right. 🙂

Comment by Chikashi

I agree with you Robert. I should champion this product but after reading the corporate alliance write up, it’s left me cold.

Comment by Lee Hill

Switzerland. Seven hundred years of democracy and all they’ve come up with is the numbered account, the cuckoo clock and a knife that can get Boy Scouts out of horses’ hooves.

Comment by Ian Gee

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