The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Why Starbucks Are Mindfucks …
January 28, 2019, 6:15 am
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Crap Products In History

Walked into Starbucks recently and saw this …

What.

The.

Fuck?

What next, a Baked Bean cappuccino?

A roast beef Americano?

I appreciate innovation is the foundation of progression, but this is bonkers.

On the positive, it suddenly makes their Spiced Pumpkin Latte sound almost like a real coffee.

Or as real as coffee can get at Starbucks.

Happy Monday.


21 Comments so far
Leave a comment

That’s as revolting as this blog.

Comment by Bazza

it would need a great big steaming turd in it to come anywhere close to this pile of shite this blog churns out everyfuckingday..

Comment by andy@cynic

I’ve tried it and I regret it Robert.
Don’t do it. Not even for curiousty.

Comment by Pete

The fine line between clever and stupid.

Comment by Rob

Continuing their long history of making uncoffee.

Comment by George

shitty coffee flavored shitty milk,

Comment by andy@cynic

That should be their new endline.

Comment by DH

It’s your fault for walking into Starbucks.

Comment by John

Awesome. In that case you can never complain about what I write as it’s your fault for coming to this blog.

Comment by Rob

doddsy, you fucking amateur.

Comment by andy@cynic

I can and I will.

Comment by John

Do as I say, not as I do.

You will be the head of WPP in no time John.

Comment by DH

The “innovate to innovate” cul de sac.

Comment by Paul Macfarlane

Can someone please tell them to put the no in innovation.

Comment by DH

Cereal is one of the most eaten foods in the world.

Especially in African and South American communities.

Most of Britain’s favourite foods (not sure about drinks) originate from other cultures.

Comment by Justin Lines

Thanks Justin … but do you think that justifies putting it in coffee and selling it at a high-price?

Comment by Rob

Probably not – but better to sell at a higher price, who’s going to buy cheap cereal coffee. They will 100% think it tastes like shit.

Cereal eventually could be a popular food group in the UK as environmental groups are encouraging people to adopt more sustainable diets, such as cereal.

Never thought I’d find myself defending Starbucks.

Comment by Justin Lines

Who is going to buy cereal coffee .. that is the question. And a huge amount of cereal has more sugar than a can of coke so it’s not good for any diet.

Comment by Rob

Starbucks has made overroasted burnt coffee salable. Hell, even fashionable. I had one cup, years ago, and never want another. Tell people that this is cool, this is hip, whatEVER, and soon enough you have grown men lining up asking for “latte mocha smoothie with a soupcon of strawberry” and Starbucks, you have to give them credit, manages to pull it off.

The fact that they are selling overpriced damaged coffee is part of the er, charm.

And there will be people who will actually drink cereal coffee and declare it good and holy, and sooner or later all the other sheep will be doing it too.

Comment by judyt54

I once went to Starbucks in Times Square with Robert and Andrew. I watched as they got into a heated debate with the barista about the chains inability to make coffee that tasted of coffee. It was the most enjoyable experience I have had inside a Starbucks.

Comment by George

[…] written a bunch about Starbucks over the years – most recently, their cereal coffee debacle – but let’s be honest, where ‘what the fuck’ happens, Starbucks is close […]

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