The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Fail For The Win …

A few weeks ago I woke up to find my instagram followers had gone up over 1500 in a night.

A NIGHT.

Given it had been years for me to break 1000 followers, something seemed up.

I checked this blog to see if this rise was reflected on here?

Nope.

I checked twitter.

Nothing.

I couldn’t explain it so in the end I just accepted it must be a weird event and carried on with my day.

Except it happened the next day and then the next.

When it reached 10,000 – yes, TEN THOUSAND – instagram contacted me to say I now could access their tools to further enhance my influencer status, including adding a descriptor of what I do.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Because their list of options didn’t feature ‘annoying prick’, I decided to screw with their algorithm and describe myself as a fashion model.

But why was this all happening?

Well a few days later I found out which is why I write this …

To the [literally] thousands of people who started following me because a very famous rock band [accidentally/stupidly/mischieviously] featured my instagram in one of their stories … prepare to be massively underwhelmed with countless photos of my cat, kid and colleagues.

But on behalf of said cat, kid and colleagues, may I take this opportunity to thank you for letting us all feel momentarily popular until you come to your senses and unfollow the hell out of us.


7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Just checked the amount of followers you have now and it seems they’re ditching you at the same speed the EU are ditching your PM.

Comment by Bazza

Lool I came here for this comment

Comment by Gottfried

Don’t the band have enough problems with their singer entering rehab without you losing them their fanbase?

Comment by George

Harsh.

Comment by Pete

Always failing up.

Comment by Pete

This may be the perfect encapsulation of Robert. Though his talent gets him in the positions for this to happen which is another of his ingredients that makes him so unique.

Comment by Lee Hill

they need to fucking break up. their cred has been stained for fucking ever.

Comment by andy@cynic




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