The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The First Rule Of Marketing …

… is know your audience.

The second rule is let them know you know them.

For all the millions spent at agencies and consultancies, this food vendor at the recent Chelsea v Everton match. shows they get it more than most.

Now you may think, ‘who would shop at a place that publicly identifies them as a chubby’?

And I get it …

In these highly visual times, no one wants to associate with anything deemed socially negative.

But apart from the fact there are some people who take great pride in their unhealthiness, the reality is there’s something incredibly lovely about that name.

If you’re hungry.

If you need something to eat.

If you want something that’s going to make you full.

What better place is there than a food cart with the name Chubby’s.

Chubby’s suggests big portions. Lots of flavour [read: fat] Value for money.

But it’s more than that.

This is a food cart at a football match.

Food and football is never supposed to be fancy.

It’s supposed to be piping hot and insanely substantial …

This means even the most healthy minded individual can justify buying from there.

“It’s just this once” … they’ll say.

“It’s part of the footballing experience” they’ll claim.

And then, to make themselves feel less greedy, they’ll do what was the basis of one of my favourite ever campaigns – a bloody radio ad no less – they’ll go and order a Diet Tango to wash it all down with.

The weak and delusional fools.

[Cue evil laugh]

So while I doubt any naming consultancy would ever come up with such a choice of name for a football food establishment, I would say the owner of this cart is a better marketer than most of the agencies and consultancies put together.

And his hot dogs were a delight.

That is not a euphemism.

26 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I just checked, you wrote this around 8th March.

The world was much simpler back then.

Comment by George

March 8? You’d think it would be all closed down by then. I think my first day working from home was the following Friday – the 13th – an omen for what was to come. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Also. Unplanned planning.

Comment by George

That’s a blast from the past. But yes.

Comment by Pete

Before Rob got cool and started using the word chaos.

Comment by Bazza


Comment by Pete

Has Rob ever been cool? I know he owns cool things but that doesn’t make him cool.

Please replace own with blagged.

Comment by DH

Yes Dave.

Comment by Bazza


Two thousand and seven.

Bloody hell. Unplanned is a pensioner … and given we were talking about it years before that, what was once a new way of looking at strategy is now a grumpy old man.

Comment by Rob

This has made me feel so old.

Comment by Pete

thats because you fucking are.

Comment by andy@cynic

“So while I doubt any naming consultancy would ever come up with such a choice of name for a football food establishment, I would say the owner of this cart is a better marketer than most of the agencies and consultancies put together.“

He/she may not be a better chef or interior decorator, but they’re definitely better at marketing.

Comment by Pete

Also this photo is brilliant. Martin Parr would be impressed and would call it “the warm up before the game.”

Comment by Pete

Wouldn’t he call it fine dining

Comment by Bazza

Baz, you can use it for your iPhone billboards if you want.

God, it would be hilarious to see that and I guarantee it would grab attention. Maybe the wrong attention but definitely memorable.

Comment by Rob

You would be even more intolerable.

Comment by Bazza

I now want to eat a volcano temperature hot dog with watery ketchup. Well I do until I take the first bite.

Comment by Bazza

God, your description makes me want one.

Comment by Rob

That’s not a food cart, it’s a shrine to the era of unhealthy eating.

The first rule of marketing is to prolong and maximise the life time value of your customers – not hasten their death.

Comment by John

Hasn’t stopped you coming here and I’ve been killing your brain cells for 13+ years.

Comment by Rob

The plus side of that is I don’t remember any of your posts.

And it hasn’t been 13 years, it just seems like it.

Comment by John

I’m glad you accept how tiring you can be on others. Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

Oooooh, bitchy.

Comment by DH

id trust the fat fuck that owns that cart more than any consultant.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

Perfectly put.

Comment by Bazza

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: